Anthony Kiedis thinks he’s a forest creature

October 15th, 2007 // 100 Comments

Anthony Kiedis (the lead singer for the Red Hot Chili Peppers) and his girlfriend Heather Christie gave birth to their son last week. The child’s name is Everly Bear. He was named after Anthony’s favorite band the Everly Brothers. As for the bear part, it was a little part mom and a little part, well, crazy. People has the details:

“The mama came up with Bear,” Kiedis says. “That made sense to me because he’s from me and I feel like I’m part of the bear clan, and I think it’s nice to have a little bit of earth in your name.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. If the ground rules for naming your kid are using your favorite band and what animal you think you are, I am so on board. As soon as I find an Amazon woman whose womb is capable of nurturing my super-child, I’ve got the perfect name: Dethklok Triceratops. Best name ever, I know. It works on so many levels because I’m part giant, horned thunder-lizard and Dethklok rules. The only way this could backfire is if my son wants to play the oboe instead of doing something awesome like drive a tank – at age six. You’re damn right I’m going to let him. I can’t drive and work the cannon. Didn’t your father teach you how to operate a tank? No? He was sober? Fair enough.

Photos: Getty Images

  1. PunkA

    Oh Yeah! FRIST!

    Dude is one bug eyed freak. He scares me.

  2. PunkA

    If a bear craps in the woods and no one smells it….

  3. PunkA

    Wonder when Build-A-Bear will start promoting the “Everly Bear”?

  4. PunkA

    I wonder if Flea’s like Bears. Could be trouble……….

  5. PunkA

    Anyone? Hello? veggi? Frist? TT?

  6. Daryl G.

    Analcunt Ostrich.

  7. pissy skank

    Anthony is a god. RHCP rule.

  8. Matt

    Anthony Kiedis isn’t gay??? That’s the shocker. I’m still puzzled about how he got his “wife” pregnant by taking Flea up his ass.

  9. Sick of the Chili Peppers Same old shit


  10. sportsdvl

    That’s what happens when you let heroin run your brain.

    Oh, #1 – you are as lame as Keidis for being happy about being 1st.

  11. LadyJane

    Well, it’s better than, oh say… Wham Weinerdog…

  12. SouthAfricanHottie

    Mmmmm…..i don do pale men bt il definately do him!!!!!

  13. Glans

    Here’s what he said when he proposed (not a joke):

    To finger paint is not a sin
    I put my middle finger in
    Your monthly blood is what I win
    I’m in your house now let me spin

  14. Bing

    I read that he did the TubGirl thing during withdrawal.

  15. I just like the way he refers to his girlfriend as “the mama”. What a tard. BTW, I saw the Peppers in Oakland in 90 back before they were Tards. Too bad the turned into such TARDS!!!

    Tard is short for reTard. In case any of you are CURRENT RHCP fans, and are most likely Tards yourselves, thought I would spell that out fer ya, thank me later.

  16. mr sensitive

    Drown the kid in the bathtub now. Why be cruel and pretend he has a chance in life?

  17. Lexoka

    Seriously, celebs need to stop giving stupid names to their kids. That’s not gonna help them.

    How about Garbage Manatees?

  18. Chip N' Dip

    Huh…interesting, I totally thought he was queer too. He used to be kind of hot, back in his prime, with his long, flowing hair and sculpted bod…SUCK MY KISS!!! Now he’s just yucky and freaky looking.

  19. Zania

    They were good until Kiedis got completely hooked on heroin. Then they sucked, and then he “recovered” and they started putting out their albums filled with mush-headed ballads. Heroin is for losers. First they’re moody addicted losers, then they get treatment and become clean and shiny losers.

  20. D. Richards

    Kiedis is still alive? The Chili-Peppers are kind of beating-a dead horse. Every single mentions California. Is that supposed to make a difference? Wow, CA, man. “Californication”, “Dani California”? We get it, you’re almost forty-five and you’re from CA. Great.

  21. My life for Dethklok!

    DETHKLOK Rules!

  22. havoc

    A bath would help……


  23. In 17 years, I predict rehab and jail time for young Everly. For stealing pic-a-nic baskets. Full of crack.

  24. TS

    I saw them at Lollapalooza in Irvine back in 92, they were pretty good but they were best back in ’90, with Magic Johnson.

  25. TDiZzzle

    you friggen kill me!!! TOOO FUNNY!

  26. Lauren

    dethklok. word.

  27. Dan


  28. MrSemprini

    When did Bronson Pinchot grow a beard?

  29. Bacsonifo

    Whatever he’s doing with this girlfriend, he’s doing in addition to having daily hineysex with Flea. The only real question is whether they do ATM every time, or just on special occasions.

  30. He looks like Eric Roberts.

  31. C

    Nice…some people just should not reproduce. Can’t wait to see how the kid turns out. Probably be an upstanding citizen of our society, like an accountant or a teacher, I’m sure.

    Good lord…you’re a friggen millionaire 50x over probably…invest in some dental appliances to straighten out that yak mouth!!!

  32. sassy

    dude. i dare anyone here to read Scar Tissue and then tell me that Kiedis isn’t a genius/sex symbol. this man has been through everything. and did we really expect him and his 18 year old girlfriend to name their child Jonathan. Come on. Its better than Pilot Inspektor!

  33. Ript1&0

    This is too much!! My brain is about to explode…… here it comes……..

  34. Ript1&0

    Pixies Beaver
    Clutch Lizard
    Tool Snow Leopard
    Queens of the Stone Age Komodo Dragon
    Jimi Hendrix Marmot
    Object Defyle Hummingbird
    Red Hot Chili Pepper Poodle
    Rage Against The Machine Ant Eater
    Dead Kennedys Pirana

    This could go on forever, really. I’m not saying platypus, goddamn it.

  35. carlogo

    Umm, how about

    Butthole Surfer Dung Beetle
    Ween Wombat
    Vanilla Fudge Armadillo
    Rammstein Dachshund
    Hansen Pufferfish
    Journey Mule

  36. nanny

    Let me say this again: Last time I checked, dudes couldn’t get pregnant, so they couldn’t give birth. Has anything changed or it’s just that the politically correct crowd is finally takin’ over the universe? People, stop saying “so-and-so and HIS wife ARE pregnat! Such imbecils!

  37. C

    Holy crap! His girlfriend is just 18?!? He’s gotta be ~40, right? That’s just wrong in and of itself! She must have some serious issues.

    Sassy (#34), so he is a genious because he sung (and possibly wrote/co-wrote) scar tissue? Its about heroine use/addiction right, like all of the “good” songs that RHCP made? You can enjoy RHCP and their music if you like…I personally don’t…but calling a herione addict a “genius” in this case seems to be a stretch. Then again, I suppose that depends upon your own personal reference. I’m sure that Britney’s kids will think she is a genius when they are 6-7 years old too.

  38. Joboo

    Type-O Howler Monkey … my kid, let me show him to you.

  39. J

    Isn’t he Native American? I think that’s what he meant by being part of the bear clan…

    My kid would be Journey Platypus.

  40. ERm....

    #39 – Scar Tissue is his book, one of the best books I have ever read.

  41. Auntie Kryst

    What’d I miss? Did Anthony Kiedes get caught trying to buy machine guns? Oh wait, he’s not a rapper. This is just a nice stroy about a rock musician naming his son.

    PS, Ramones Rattlesnake.

  42. Ript1&0

    I knew it. I fucking knew someone would say it.

  43. Jahn

    I’m no Amazon woman but I will gladly try to bear the super-child of any man who proudly declares his favorite band to be Dethklok.

    Dethklok Pussy.

    Guns n’Roses Rat.

    Two favorite bands, two favorite animals…No decent names.

  44. Whodey

    Dethklok Triceratops…one of the funniest things i’ve heard all day.

  45. Stace

    Yeah, FYI….he is Native American and that’s what he meant about being part of the bear clan.

  46. Blade Steele

    Mine would be “Heracules Zarathrustus”.

    Zarathrustus, of course, being the well-known imaginary animal I just made up.

  47. MrsP

    Wait a minute folks – the most astonishing thing about this post is that Anthony Kiedis’ favorite band is the Everly Brothers. Shocking!! And has anyone told him that they’ve split up?

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