Anthony Weiner is Pulling Out

June 16th, 2011 // 82 Comments

Haha. “Sword-weiner.”

Anthony Weiner is officially resigning today after accidentally tweeting his dick to his Twitter followers opening up a can of worms, or more specifically his worm, after he admitted to sexting several women and basically spending his free time masturbating over Skype for them while his wife is pregnant. Also, it didn’t help that he was talking to 17-year-old girls prompting Obama to say, “Dude, what the fuck?” Of course, what’s important here isn’t so much that this took goddamn forever, it’s that Janeane Garofalo is an idiot. So much so, that I’m actually linking NewsBusters who has a transcript of her defending Weiner on last week’s Bill Maher. I can’t stress this enough: When a congressman flings his dick all over the Internet behind his pregnant wife’s back then lies about it for a week, that’s fucking news. On top of that, Anthony Weiner is savvy enough to know that the dick’s out of the boxer briefs, and these women were about to get checks waved in front of their faces to “come” forward, so he should’ve resigned immediately instead of letting it become the cock-pun circus it’s become. Where was I going with this? Oh, right, Janeane Garofalo’s the Dana Loesch of liberal pundits.

And now back to boob photos peppered with dick jokes.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Cock Dr

    Are these the genuine headlines, or the work of Photo Boy?
    How funny is it that that one can no longer tell the difference?
    Be good Weiner. You’ve got a long life ahead to ponder just what exactly drove you to totally screw up your life.

    • with all that circumcision talk this week i’m surprised it didn’t say cut and run

    • TomFrank

      Those are in fact genuine New York Post headlines. Look for “Weiner Pulls Out” tomorrow. (You think I’m kidding, but I’m not.)

      Also, I’m thinking that Photo Boy can’t fake a headline under the New York Post’s masthead without running the risk of some sort of trademark or copyright violation. Y’know…if anyone who mattered actually noticed this site. :)

  2. Couldn’t have happened to a classier guy.

  3. they should roast him once he’s resigned, someone page andy dick

  4. WALT

    FIRST! I HAVE NO COMMENT ABOUT THIS DICKHEAD!

  5. Dufresne

    I guess he thought he was better than Brett Favre at texting pictures of his junk.

  6. the captain

    ………………now what?
    americans are used to scandals of policians:
    ………Clinton, Schwarzenegger, Weiner(bratwurst)?

  7. Josh Laughlas

    What Weiner did was normal it seems. Loads of people are doing this every day. His problem was he got caught. If he hadn’t miss typed the address the picture was going to non of this would have happened.
    http://www.holisticwisdomcenter.com/magazine/read/is-sending-nude-pictures-normal-or-healthy_47.html
    As for the lying, what do you expect from a politician.

    • netposer

      Yes he lied, even to Obama. The problem was he used his official twitter account and used his high political position to meet young women.

      If you did that same shit at your job there would be no question about you being fired.

      He’s just another political idiot that was buying time.

      • The Critical Crassness

        Is there any other kind of politico? They’re all idiots!

      • TomFrank

        “Official Twitter account.” No such thing. The 19 (out of 100) Senators and 51 (out of 435) Representatives on Twitter set it up themselves, just like any other person does.

      • AleisterCrowley

        Weiner’s no good but the worst piece of shit crown goes to John Edwards. What a total slimeball!

  8. Deacon Jones

    What sucks for him is he didnt even get to bang that POA stripper.

  9. Garafalo wasn’t defending him….she was saying the media blows this crap out of proportion relative to news that really matters.

  10. Go Galt

    Weiner is a loser, just like Clinton was. He gets his jollies by “sexting” with attarctive women — and then jacking off. He doesn’t even bang these broads. During his sobbing press conference he even tried to “spin” that fact to make him look more respectable. Really??? I can’t respect a man who would rather pull his own pud than screw hot chicks who want to do him (as hard as it is to believe any chick would touch this creepy looking freak). As for Clinton, the Starr Report revealed that Lewinski would give him head — but that Clinton would finish himself off in the sink. Seriously??? He didn’t want to blow his load in her mouth??? Another politician who prefers to jerk himself off. What a bunch of loser freaks.

    • S'up Bitches!

      Of course, you left out the most pathetic of all, Vitter. That limp dicked piece of shit had to actually pay for his pussy. Then again, that is a typical Republican. They don’t have any personality or sex appeal, so thay have to flash the cash in order to get any ass.

      • Kelley

        Hey, that rhymes …

      • AtomicMug

        I know! …and Spitzer!

        Another “limp-dicked piece of shit” Republican who had to pay for it! Typical Republicans like Spitzer “don’t have any personality or sex appeal” and have to “flash the cash” for ass!

        [SORRY. I just Googled Eliot Spitzer. He's a Democrat. Please disregard the above. I'm so embarrassed.]

      • Tarheel

        @ S’Up Bitches

        so paying for it is bad?

        Its better to lead people on, lie to them etc etc etc than to just pay for it and not involve feelings?

        As someone who has done both, Id pay for it every time so as not to have to deal with all the other BULLSHIT that comes along with being in a relationship with someone…like having to compromise and do STUPID shit like sit through “The Notebook” which Im sure you just love, dont you?

        You sound like a very metrosexual, compromising, open minded & whipped kinda guy. Keep it up sweetie & you can procreate soon…which is good for us, because the world needs more fast food employees to follow in your footsteps.

        And dont forget the tampons next time you go shopping. Aisle 13 douchebag.

    • rican

      Well, he did ejaculate in her dress. You can’t really say if he pulled out or if it dripped from her mouth.

      • S'up Bitches!

        @tarheel. Never seen the notebook. You obviously have. Listen, just ’cause you are such a pussy you have to give in to one to get any, that’s just like paying for it, isn’t it? I don’t know where you got the whole “fast food” thing, since I obviously can organize my thoughts and type them out better than you can (you go from metrosexual to fast food?). Point is, anyone that pays for ass is pretty pathetic in anyone’s book. Sure, Weiner fucked up and should resign, but Vitter actually committed a crime, and should not only resign for that, but also because anyone in a government position that engages in a criminal act should not only resign, but be put on trial. I am sorry you are pathetic and have to pay for it. According to you it is better to engage in criminal activity than lie. Hey, that’s your bag, and since you read like a POS conservative it really seems to fit.

      • AleisterCrowley

        I don’t know about ejaculation but I luvs me sum Tarheels.Go Heels!

    • Rafe (pronounced "Ralph")

      Hey Go Galt, if guys who prefer to jerk off are “loser freaks,” what adjectives would you use to describe guys who prefer sex with strange men in public restrooms (as former Republican senator Larry Craig is suspected)?

  11. onceler

    why imply that he was sexting with 17 year olds – it has already been proven that he wasn’t, at least in that case that Fox News had tried to set up. they were hanging out in the hedges of that girl’s front yard after calling the cops themselves! police asked her about it, she said he never sent her anything other than a confirmation. come on, implying pedophilia is a serious charge.

    • TomFrank

      I don’t think he was implying there was sexting with 17-year-olds—but the rest of the media certainly did, jumping on that story (“Weiner Tweets Teen” was a New York Daily News headline last wee) with a presumption of guilt, even though, yes, there was nothing untoward in his Twitter chat with the 17-year-old girl in question.

      It’s as if there’s a rule now that if you have use your computer for sex, you can’t also use your computer for completely non-sexual chats with underage fans. Just like if I have phone sex, I can’t ever use the telephone to call up my 10-year-old niece to say hi.

      • kimmykimkim

        Well yeah! That’d be like having sex with ur niece ;o) Oh and u said “headline last *wee*.” Tee hee hee hee…hehehe. Weiner pulls out! Hahaha!

    • TomFrank

      Yeah, I saw what I did. And I knew someone would say something. ; )

  12. RoboZombie

    Auf Deutsch ist “Weiner” wie “Whiner” ausgesprochen worden, nicht wie “Weeener”.
    Of course, the jokes wouldn’t be as funny that way, amirite?

  13. Colin

    Wait, nudes? Did anyone ever actually see this guys dick? Because through the underwear doesn’t count. Or if it does, my number of indecent exposures over the last month has gone from four to around 40.

  14. Rafe (pronounced "Ralph")

    While this sounds like it could be up there with the Obama birth certificate thing, it seems to be backed by a bit more substance: Is Weiner Huma’s beard, and is Huma Hilary’s lover? The theory floating around is that the answer to these questions is yes, and that the arrangement is like this: Weiner wanted to be Mayor of NYC and Hilary still wants to be POTUS. Being an unmarried man in his late 40′s is an obstacle to becoming Mayor of NYC, and rumors that you have a lesbian lover can get in the way of you becoming POTUS. By marrying Huma and having a child, Weiner attains a family man image, and the potential for Hilary-Huma rumors to resurface (as they did during Hilary’s last attempt at running for president) is pretty much eliminated.

    While I think this scenario is possible I don’t believe it for the simple reason that there’s not enough evidence to support it. But in the spirit of superficial gossip and pure fun I share it.

    • Rafe (pronounced "Ralph")

      Oh, and part of the hypothetical arrangement is one of the ways Weiner would’ve benefited from agreeing to be Huma’s beard is that the Cilntons (especially if Hilary became POTUS) would help him become Mayor of NYC.

  15. Bow Chica Wow Wow

    If he were single would this be as big a deal? He betrayed his pregnant wife. Garafalo is a nutjob, who would listen to her and why would they invite her on that show?

    • krutboo

      seriously, what exactly in her career qualifies her to be a political talking head? She is an ugly, angry, dyke who doubles as a shitty comedian and actress. Fuck Her

  16. Yeah, I know I’m old fashioned, but I do still have this silly notion that when you marry someone…you know, make vows, whatever…that’s sort of important. And I might have some sympathy for a man or woman who marries and then falls in love again and strays, like Mark Sanford did (though going to see her on Father’s Day was beyond the pale), but having a compulsion to wave your penis at dozens of women (and girls) over the internet while your wife is carrying your child…not so much.

    And I know people say it doesn’t have anything to do with their public life, but…

    …if he really cared about the causes he championed he would have known what this coming to light would do to his ability to fight for them, so it conclusively proves that public welfare took a backseat to fulfilling his most trivial (and let’s face it, kinda’ gross) physical urges.

    …once the scandal broke he knew the damage it could possibly do to those causes and his ability to work for the people who had entrusted him to be their representative and he chose to inflict on the nation this continuing psychodrama, which means he has placed his own interests above those things.

    There’s plenty awful about this. But you know one thing no one has brought up that just bothers the shit out of me? Weiner is a Jewish man who married an Islamic woman. Which was a wonderful chance to demonstrate to America and the world one of the most extraordinary things about our country, our ability to be an American community, beyond race and religion.

    How many Islamic parents do you think are turning to their daughters and saying, “see, this is what happens if you marry a Jewish man.”

    And that maybe makes me sadder than any other part of this sordid mess.

    • Cock Dr

      Good points.

    • possibly good points. Too long. Didn’t read.

      • Cock Dr

        I’ll make it easy for the ADD people.
        Weiner (Jew) married an acomplished muslim woman.
        “How many Islamic parents do you think are turning to their daughters and saying, “see, this is what happens if you marry a Jewish man.” “

      • All right, but just for you, Smack…

        fidelity…selfishness…arrogance…stupidity…sadness.

      • AleisterCrowley

        Me neither. She needs to shorten this shit up . And from the first sentence I’m assuming Equinox is female. And I’m well aware assuming makes an ass out of you and me.

    • Bow Chica Wow Wow

      Didn’t realise he was Jewish, but that just shows if these people (by ‘these people’ meaning politicians and people in general who cheat) were genuinley religous they wouldn’t be thinking with their weiners.

      I don’t know about America but over here there are honour killings in the Islamic community. He dishonoured his wife, an Islamic woman. If she lived in the UK her relatives would be coming for him and that’s honestly no exageration. He deserves it.

      • Kelley

        Geezum Crow, with a name like Weiner, you didn’t realize he was Jewish ? Gak !! He LOOKS Jewish, too.

    • Yankee yo

      islamic parents?

      Who cares what any islamic anything thinks? Theyve proven to be centuries behind the worst 3rd world countries in their thoughts, actions and beliefs so their views on anything are null and void. We should care more about what the bumble bees think.

    • Mike Walker

      >Which was a wonderful chance to demonstrate to America and the world one of the most extraordinary things about our country, our ability to be an American community, beyond race and religion.<

      Yes, a mere two people are going to show the possibility of a religioethnic pluralistic society. Please. It's no big surprise to anyone that individuals can bridge ethnic/religious divides if they're non-fanatics. There are plenty of Jewish-Muslim couples in the US and none of them play into the big picture. They probably infuriate the muslims more, if anything.

      • Mike, I understand what you’re saying in your first point but I would point out the already high profile nature of this couple and the extraordinarily more high profile position they would have had if Weiner had pursued and acheived his widely suspected goal of becoming the mayor of New York. At that point they are not just two people. They are the public face of America’s most iconic city.

        I just have to disagree with your second and third points. A large proportion of even the population of the United States still believes miscegenation to be evil. Heck, it took an evil old activist Supreme Court to declare anti-miscegenation laws unconstitutional in Loving v. Virginia, and that was in 1967, so not exactly ancient history. No, it is a big surprise to a lot of people, maybe just not the folks you know, and it’s a big unpleasant surprise to a lot of them.

        And as for your last point…you know it probably would infuriate some Islamic folks, and even some conservative Jewish folks more. And by pointing this out you sort of invalidated your first and second points on your own. Because yes it would infuriate them. Because they believe in that separation, that division that makes it so much easier to view another group as the dreaded, easy to hate and easy to dehumanize “other”. And they would be infuriated because this sort of relationship on one of the world’s biggest stages would have, for a number of reasons, made that sort of thing more difficult.

  17. AtomicMug

    You know what the most infuriating thing about the Weiner thing is?

    Millions of people who can actually behave themselves at work are struggling to find a job right now, and this degenerate is gonna have a job paying twice his current $174,000 Congressional salary in a couple of months.

  18. People don’t seem to get it. This shit is no big deal…and barely even interesting…until you LIE about it. Weiner was too fucking stupid to not even lie convincingly. He actually said his account was hacked, and he didn’t send the photos…but couldnt’ say for 100% certain if that was a picture of him or not.

    This guy is getting booted because he’s too fucking stupid to be a politician.

    • Kelley

      A pig and an asshole on top of being a very bad liar …

    • TomFrank

      Eh. Sure, the lying made matters worse, but I suspect that even if he didn’t lie, there’d still be the same media reaction, fallout, and calls for resignation.

    • kimmykimkim

      And how could someone not know for sure if that’s their genitals? Everybody recognizes their own junk. I’m a chick and would recognize a picture of my cooch from a mile away. Why? Cuz we as humans know our junk and we’ve been obsessed with it ever since we discovered it.. I mean, come on… oh n TomFrank said “fallout.” Bahaha!

  19. The Critical Crassness

    I still waiting for the news to break that his wife’s baby is really Bill Clinton’s cause Ol’Whinny can get his weiner up with a flesh and blood woman, only with his cell phone.

  20. Rough, a love story

    Well that wasn’t a well thought out move on his part. Just when everyone started sympathize with him after William Cuntsler’s “press conference” by blurring the lines between porn star, featured dancer and real estate agent.

    Hang on weener! Well, in second thought…

  21. Opsidolala

    She’s right. In any other part of the world nobody would give a fuck about it.

  22. Doc Schweinstrudel

    OK. I will probably be unpopular here once again.
    Why is it that it’s like everybody talks how smart jews are…HOW IS THIS GUY SMART? OR STRAUSS KHAN? How do their actions qualify them as smart?
    They qualify them as typical promiscuous perverted stupid jews.

    • Cock Dr

      Oh yeah. Get your hate on.
      How is perversion and/or promiscuity “typical” of jews? Have ya got any scientific evidence to back up that nasty bile?

      • Doc Schweinstrudel

        The witness of your pervesions is well documented and that you people have been breeding between the relatives and all the rest nasty stuff is WELL WELL KNOWN, maybe that’s why you are so fucking Sarah Jessica Parker ugly hah?
        Who needs scientific evidence when there are Sodom and Gomorrah?

      • Cock Dr

        Love how you make yet another hugely wrong assumption.
        If ancestors hadn’t immigrated from Fatherland I’m sure my grandparents would have been Sieg Heiling, marching off to Stalingrad, and raped by Russian soldiers.
        Go on, post more crazy stuff.

    • bitingontinfoil

      How are all black people theives and lazy welfare bums? How are all Native people drunks? How are all Newfies stupid? How are all Texans racist assholes? How are all Virginians inbred, How are all Americans narcissistic assholes? It’s called BIGOTRY and RACISM. Fucking dolt.

  23. Frank Burns

    One can only hope there is a Congresswoman Kaye Ameltoe at this very moment sending photos of her creased undies to some college guy on Twitter at this very moment.

  24. Thank God his name isn’t Anthony Sphincter, or I think we all know what he’d be tweeting.

  25. See Alice

    Another Douchecrat down the drain .

    • bitingontinfoil

      I would LOVE to start a FB page complete w/a map of all of attention-whore Palin’s itinerary, complete w/cross hairs and a “DON’T RETREAT, RELOAD” slogan…see how ppl feel about that. What was the worse that could happen, he’d poke her eye out? Tickle her tonsils? Palin was responsible for ATTEMPTED MURDER!!

  26. See Alice

    What’s a Bill Maher and Jeanne Garofalo ?

  27. ?

    This has ZERO to do with his job.

    ITS. NOT. NEWS.

  28. bitingontinfoil

    Wow! G. Giffords gets shot in the fucking head because of Palin’s “don’t retreat,, reload” map, complete w/crosshairs and that’s ok – but this guy flashes his DICK and he’s forced to resign. Granted, he’s a douch. But I’ll take a douche over a fucking Palin any day!

  29. bitingontinfoil

    BTW: Who else is thinking Swartenegger (who, BTW has a history of his family being in the SS) is giving a big WHEW! right about now? Kennedy shared Marilyn w/his brother – and prolly killed her for it, Clinton got blow jobs, how is twitting a pic of your dick big news? Could be worse, he could be a Palin.

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