‘Ant-Man’ Is Doing That Trailer For A Trailer Horsesh*t

Posted by Photo Boy

Disney has been reaping the benefits of purchasing Marvel for years. But they also own ABC, a network that if you texted millennials about would get you a reply of a ninja emoji kicking a piece of poop. So naturally, they’ve been forcing those worlds together resulting in awkward crossover promotions like this trailer for the Ant-Man preview that will air during Agent Carter, which is the Captain America spin-off about the S.H.I.E.D. agent from the 40’s he died not deflowering. Yup. Aside from this being what should have been the laughably idiotic idea of a promptly fired marketing intern, I’m wondering why Disney never tried this approach with any of their classic films. Why not a modern day take on Genie from Aladdin? He’s a young cosmic wishmaster trying to figure out how his powers fit into a world where technology practically satisfies all your needs with apps.

GENIE: Hmm…what is this Craigslist? *clicks Casual Encounters, reads ad from LampGuy292*: ‘Ripped 20’s-something male. Wanting to experiment with bulbs and sockets. I know how to TURN it on.’ Huh, sounds interesting. *responds to ad, gives gchat handle,’bigblue’*
LAMPGUY292: (in gchat) hey there, when can we get 2gether?
BIGBLUE: well, i thought we could get to know each other a little better. are you an electrician?
LAMPGUY292: not really, i want you could shove cfls in me til i pass out. need someone here to call 911 if necessary.
BIGBLUE: yep, i thought this is where this was going

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