So Here’s That Ansel Elgort Music Video, Don’t Get Too Excited

When the trailer for this video came out, Fish posted it along with a promise of screencaps, because it supposedly featured Ansel Elgort’s hot naked girlfriend Violetta Komyshan. Well I’m here to shatter your world because this video has absolutely none of that. In fact, within the first 45 seconds it shows her butt looking like this:

Violetta Komyshan Ansel Elgort Thief

And then you never see it again unless Ansel Elgort, who looks like a toddler with a hormone disorder that somehow gave him a big boy’s body, is hanging all over it. You know what else you get instead of his hot naked girlfriend? I can tell you, because I watched this whole thing with the sound on, which was a terrible, terrible mistake I will never forget. You get Ansel Elgort moonwalking. You get Ansel Elgort shirtless under a leather jacket with Bon Jovi fringe. You get Ansel Elgort flexing in a mirror and doing pushups in his boxer briefs. But most importantly you get Ansel Elgort singing over a ripped off and auto-tuned version of the Stranger Things theme song to create a final product that sounds like Justin Bieber and Justin Timberlake tried not to bang in a time machine and failed. And if I sound really mad over something that seems so trivial, press “Play” and try not to punch your boss in his stupid nerd-mouth. That’s where I’m at right now.

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Photo: YouTube