Anne Hathaway’s private journals confiscated in FBI raid
Anne Hathaway has been doing her best to distance herself from her ex-boyfriend con man Raffaello Follieri. She’s even changed her number, and many believe she helped the FBI arrest him. But now she’s getting pulled into the investigation after her private journals were confiscated during a raid of Raffaelo’s apartment. I say around mid-afternoon the Internet will be soaked with tales of pale sex next to a roaring fire of hundred dollar bills while Bill Clinton watches. NY Daily News reports:
The agents confiscated the intimate diaries of the Devil Wears Prada star during another raid on Follieri’s $37,500-a-month Trump Tower pad, according to the sources. Seeking to bolster their case against the dashing Italian, who has been charged with 11 counts of fraud and money laundering, agents are also said to have seized photos of Follieri with Bill and Hillary Clinton, Pope John Paul II, and John and Cindy McCain.
January 21, 2007
Raffaello bought me a yacht made of solid gold. We make love inside a Lamborghini then discard it like a used condom.
June 3, 2007
We take my yacht “The Why Don’t I Question Where My Boyfriend Gets His Money” out on the sea. We make love on top of a sea turtle then discard it like a used condom.
June 5, 2007
The sun fucking BURNS. Raffaello confuses me for a lobster woman then attempts to seduce me. I now have doubts about our relationship.
August 12, 2007
Raffaello buys me a diamond ring the size of a Buick. But not before stopping by a church and running out with the collection plate. He’s so romantic.
November 23, 2007
Sorry I haven’t written in so long. Raffaello and I vacationed on the moon. I met presumptive presidential candidate John McCain today. He tells me his secret recipe for barbecue, but I don’t know where to find unicorn hearts and the bottled tears of children.
December 25, 2007
Raffaello manned a vast hunting expedition to track down the real Santa Claus. He brings me a blanket made of his beard, carcass and coat. Love is made. Expensive items discarded like condoms.
February 15, 2008
Approached by FBI agent today. Asked me if Raffaello knows the pope. I tell the agent, “No, but he likes to dress like him.” He laughs then pulls out duct tape and a wire tap. It itches.