Anne Hathaway gets ‘shit-faced’ for a cause

December 8th, 2008 // 35 Comments

Anne Hathway got three fans drunk off their ass after they won her in a charity auction for $12,000 at the Cracked X-Mas Fundraiser last night. People reports:

“I’m not usually very forward, but I thought if there was ever a crowd for me to do something like this, this is my crowd so I would like to auction myself off,” Hathaway announced, “for drinks somewhere fabulous and basically get you totally s— faced. Tell me what I’m worth.”
The proceeds for the night went to benefit the Trevor Project, a crisis helpline for LGBT youth. Hathaway, 26, was embarrassed when her price kept going up. “I’m blushing,” Hathaway said during the bidding process. “Wow, I feel really good right now.”

Only $12,000 for drinks with Anne Hathaway? Why the hell wasn’t I invited?! According to my bank account, I would’ve only been $12,135.49 short. Seriously, I could’ve told her I invented the Vatican then let her do stuff to me. (Nobody steal my idea.)

superficial

  1. Mary

    When she finally, FINALLY, comes out of the closet I will have a chance. She is GORGEOUS. I’d be gay for her yesterday.

  2. PatheticNewGuy

    She looks like she has downs.

  3. Savalas

    I’d love to shit on her face.

    If ‘shit on her face’ means ‘shoot a load across her eyes’….

  4. Plastic Sturgeon

    She looks stunning here. It might be a good idea to stop with the weight loss though. I’m just saying….

  5. Wow, for 12, 000 bucks, i could buy my own alcohol..plus rehab.

  6. I’d drop a Steamer on her any day, but not if I have to pay.

  7. Pixie

    I love Anne, but there is just something about her face that is not very appealing…can’t really say what it is though..

  8. Pathetic Worm

    Nocturnal monkey in a posh frock.

  9. your mom

    I think she is incredibly unattractive. What happened to her face?

  10. Book

    she can look kinda funny in a still… but i’d stab every last one of you to watch her talk for a few minutes. c’mon guys, i’ll even buy you a few drinks first.

  11. Pixie

    She kind of seems sad, you can see it in her eyes. I hope she’s doing alright. All that weight loss might be more from being depressed rather than just the run of the mill hollywood dieting.

  12. Kerry Vaughn

    i think michael bolton’s a sex god.

  13. Frenchy

    RE: “I love Anne, but there is just something about her face that is not very appealing…can’t really say what it is though..”

    It’s the Liza Minelli-esque too-big eyes and red clown nose.

  14. Cash

    While her breasts appear to be shrinking, her DSL’s are as succulent as ever. Too bad she’s all into that “girls in their early 20′s only date douche’s” phase. Stupidity and crappy judgment of character is a turn off.

  15. Shep

    Anne is so beautiful that I actually watch shitty girly movies that she’s in just so I can watch her. yum

  16. dew

    I think she looks very nice, but after reading about her nose being red, I looked, and it is a bit red, good eye. I don’t think she looks too thin in these pics, but I’m going to keep an eye out for her pics now others are mentioning it.

    Except for having too many ruffles on the front part of the dress, I think the rest of her dress is stunning, and she looks awesome wearing it. Very elegant too, which is nice after being forced to look at skanky poser photos so frequently (yea, they’re good for laughing at, but they do get old without other kinds of photos to round things out).

  17. Alli

    Am I the only person who thinks she’s goofy looking? She’s not ugly but.. her features are all distincively weird and don’t go together.

  18. Chauncey Gardner

    She looks like a cross between a meerkat when it’s standing up straight and a burn victim with layers of her own grafted ass-skin stretched across her face.

  19. Duke Steele

    Pixie: Whats not appealing about her face is, its GIANT. She has a GIANT face. All her features are big and together they add up to GIANT!!!

  20. Duke Steele

    Pixie: Whats not appealing about her face is, its GIANT. She has a GIANT face. All her features are big and together they add up to GIANT!!!

  21. Ardgelina

    who was it that said size 6 is the new 14? well yeah its actually true

  22. Kerry Vaughn

    I fully agree with #17.

  23. Mar

    That dress is like an iceberg lettuce.

  24. Rolando

    If they ever need a female Joker in Batman, she would be perfect.

  25. I wonder: HOW WILL SHE LOOK WHEN SHE IS REALLY SHITTING.
    ………………………..identical, folks?

  26. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now? ?????????????????

  27. Lala

    This article was hilarious. I was laughing by myself at my desk….

  28. kate

    she lacks any kind of sex appeal.

  29. devilsrain

    Ill bet she was pissed when she only went for 12k. More likely embarrassed when her price stopped going up

  30. Parker

    oh my F-N-G…why was I not there when this chick stood up and said “Tell me what I’m worth”? So I could have bought her like a common whore, took her out and buttfucked her all night long? I can’t believe I missed out on that. The Princess diary would have my name in it by now.

    “Dear diary, last night I had the time of my life. I auctioned myself off to the highest bidder and a guy named Parker bought me. He swept me off my feet and into the nearest dark alley where he bent me over a trashcan, threw my dress up over my ass, pulled my panties down, then shove his cock right inside my butt. It was like I’d known him forever. As he thrust himself deep up my tush I gasped in ecstacy and knew this was the man I had longed for all my life. He grabbed my hips and began pistining in and out of my butt I gripped the greasy, wet trashcan cover tightly and held on for the ride. When at last he finished deep inside my hot little ass I saw stars. It was like I was back in Disneyland in a parade. Then I realized to my embarrassment I’d accidentally tipped the trashcan over and found myself laying in a heap of smelly garbage, butt all wet and sticky. Above me stood my knight in shining armor. Now suck it, he said. Does heaven have no end? Oh dear, dear diary, I hope to write more about this charming man soon. He promised he’d call tonight and it’s nearing midnight now so I expect the phone should ring at any moment. Already my bottom is a-tingle!”

  31. Jonathan

    LMFAO at #32. You should consider a career writing romance novels.

  32. samyy32

    @32.. wtf with all these novel B.S. ?! I read til the word princess and blah blah blah..

    get a life go out.. even for once!

  33. samyy32

    @32.. wtf with all these novel B.S. ?! I read til the word princess and blah blah blah..

    get a life go out.. even for once!

  34. douglatins

    This is totally worth it, 12000USD for dating her? this is true because she will definitely fall in love with me after the date is over, thus making her my girl, and them me very famous!!!!!!!! FTW

  35. I gripped the greasy, wet trashcan cover tightly and held on for the ride. When at last he finished deep inside my hot little ass I saw stars. It was like I was back in Disneyland in a parade.

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