Anne Hathaway Has Birthed
In news that will be quietly whispered upon every stage and thee-ay-ter across the world, Anne Hathaway has elegantly birthed a child through her loins and bestowed upon him the proud moniker of Smugly Smugalicious Smugstire. He weighed I dunno ounces and who gives a fuck pounds. And now for the part where you’ve been trained to expect that picture of her vagina, but instead, I went with this 13 year old photo of her nipples at the School of Rock premiere because she’s a mother now, you perverts. Where are your manners?
Rest in Peace, those. Rest in Peace…
What? You know she’s going to be one of those crazy breastfeeding moms. I’m talking this kid will be in college and someone will be like, “Holy shit, that guy’s drinking from Catwoman’s boob!” Which’ll be weird because that college kid will be also be drinking from a boob. The future’s going to be really awesome is what I’m getting at. I have a good feeling about it.