Anna Nicole Smith’s lawyer, Howard K. Stern, announced yesterday on CNN’s Larry King that he’s the father of her baby girl, finally completing the soap opera that is Anna Nicole’s life.
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tits_on_snack | September 27, 2006 at 7:40 am
I thought in order to father children you have to have testicles.
Brain Embolism | September 27, 2006 at 7:47 am
Ah, ha…
The plot thickens.
Porcelina | September 27, 2006 at 7:47 am
oh my. Its like watching an episode of Passions! Next thing you know, Tabitha will come by and bring Daniel back to life!
tito | September 27, 2006 at 7:48 am
Yeah yeah yeah we all know … but how did the boy die??
isegoria | September 27, 2006 at 7:50 am
Hawt.
I wish she would gain some weight back. She’d look better and it’s always fun to make fun of fat chicks.
BigEyedFish | September 27, 2006 at 7:50 am
Holy Shit. I honestly didn’t see that coming.
SpiderMomma | September 27, 2006 at 7:54 am
Nope, not surprised here. I’m sure alot of you guessed this long ago.
tits_on_snack | September 27, 2006 at 7:58 am
Wanna bet they didn’t even fuck eachother? I bet it’s a test tube baby. I’m convinced Howard looks like a Ken doll down there anyway.
jrzmommy | September 27, 2006 at 7:58 am
A-FUCKING-HEM…..TO QUOTE THE MOMMY:
Posted by jrzmommy on September 14, 2006 7:58 AM
“…I also think that he [the son] got into a fight with the “lawyer” because he didn’t want HIM there at this family event. but then
[V]anna told Darnell [sic] that Harold [sic]is the baby’s father, and the lawyer and the son got into a fight and the son was killed during it, because he was too high to fight.”
Come on…..we all know that’s how it went down. Please send all checks made payable to Jrzmommy’s Mystery Solvers and Martini Bar in Atlantic City….thank you thank you…really, your applause is unnecessary…thank you….please take your seats…..
Giggles | September 27, 2006 at 8:00 am
Some genius on this site (aren’t we all?) said a week or two ago that this guy was in love with her. So this didn’t come as a complete surprise. Makes me want to Netflix her show now to catch up on all of the players.
tits_on_snack | September 27, 2006 at 8:02 am
And ewww. Howard looks like Chuck Palahniuk’s evil gay (gay-er) twin brother resurrected from the grave, btw.
jrzmommy | September 27, 2006 at 8:02 am
I hope David Hasselhoff’s cat gets custody of this little girl because as it stands, that murderous cat has more parenting skills than this douche and that fat ugly fucking whore.
llllllllll | September 27, 2006 at 8:03 am
Are we really that surprised?
tits_on_snack | September 27, 2006 at 8:07 am
No, nobody is surprised. And why the hell does Larry King always have to be wearing suspenders? Is that his “thing”? It’s gay. Gayer than Chuck Palahniuk’s evil more-gay twin brother resurrected from the grave.
jrzmommy | September 27, 2006 at 8:12 am
who is chuck palahniuk?
llllllllll | September 27, 2006 at 8:13 am
and why does Larry King’s shoulders have to start immediately after his chin?
griffmills | September 27, 2006 at 8:16 am
Can we assume Robin Quivers is the niece?
llllllllll | September 27, 2006 at 8:16 am
and why do Larry King’s shoulders have to start immediately after his chin?
jrzmommy | September 27, 2006 at 8:16 am
Welch’s Grape Juice drinkin’ motherfucker…..
caljenna | September 27, 2006 at 8:18 am
It was bound to happen, he’s crawled so far up her butt he was bound to leave a little something behind. I love the pictures of him and Larry King, they look like they went on a bender together.
mrs.t | September 27, 2006 at 8:19 am
Larry King looks particularly sinister in that shot. And, IIIIIIIII, his shoulders aren’t too high, it’s just an illusion created by the giant, drooping jowls and compressed vertabrae of the ancient caucasian male.
nicholelibra | September 27, 2006 at 8:21 am
Am I the only one that’s happy for her? I say good for them. At least she has a person that loves her for her.He’s been through everything with her.
I really do think he loves her. Anyone who watched the Anna Nicole Show could see it in his eyes.
mrs.t | September 27, 2006 at 8:22 am
I did not hear, the interview, but Mr. Stern looks like a man who still employs the phrase “Badda Bing, Badda Boom.” On Saturday nights, this breed can still be found in Webster Hall.
jrzmommy | September 27, 2006 at 8:24 am
22–you are being sarcastic, aren’t you?
Wampoon.com | September 27, 2006 at 8:26 am
Yeah I hope #22 is sarcastic
http://wampoon.com
CelebSlam.com | September 27, 2006 at 8:30 am
You could tell he tapped that ass. Look at his smug look.
http://www.celebslam.com
Obadiah | September 27, 2006 at 8:33 am
Posted by griffmills on September 27, 2006 8:16 AM
Can we assume Robin Quivers is the niece?
Ummm, wrong Howard Stern. However, both Sterns are unattractive bozos.
http://myspace.com/ihateperezhilton
Brain Embolism | September 27, 2006 at 8:35 am
If #22 isn’t being sarcastic, she should be taught the meaning of the word sarcastic!
Hi Ferret.
Obadiah | September 27, 2006 at 8:35 am
Larry King reminds me of Beavis, for some reason.
http://myspace.com/ihateperezhilton
commissioner | September 27, 2006 at 8:37 am
I only saw the part of the interview in which Mr. Stern admitted ANS is his ONLY client.
“Loves her for her” bank account, most likely.
Wonder if he would still love her back at the trailer camp outside of Houston?
Equalparts | September 27, 2006 at 8:37 am
I agree with 22 (No I don’t think it was sarcastic.) I only watched her show a couple of times, but the Stern Guy was so obviously in love with her it was ridickerous. I doubt she loves him back half as much, and I actually wouldn’t be surprised if he is just claiming the kid as his since there is no babydaddy for that child anyway and Anna Nicole needs one. But that kids going to have a much better existence with a father around who can hold down a job and stay off of the loopy meds.
Howard Stern is the best thing to ever happen to A.Nicole.
llllllllll | September 27, 2006 at 8:37 am
Howard Stern’s lips really do bother me…am I the only one? When you cover his face from the nose up you’re left with the Grinch who stole Christmas. Is it just me?
HolisticWisdomcom | September 27, 2006 at 8:39 am
Howard was making out with Anna during her show once so it is not surprising.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
KevinTheProdigy.com | September 27, 2006 at 8:41 am
I’m not sure here, Larry looks mighty suspicious. Let’s let Maury handle this.
This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover | September 27, 2006 at 8:42 am
How dare he take advantage of a mentally challenged person!
This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover | September 27, 2006 at 8:46 am
And just so everyone knows, they’ve been sleeping together pretty much since they met, so this is of no surprise. And Jews love tits…it’s Science.
MadelBlue | September 27, 2006 at 8:53 am
“Posted by jrzmommy on September 27, 2006 8:12 AM
who is chuck palahniuk?”
Are you kidding? Try googling it. If that doesnt work here are some hints: Author, Fight Club, Choke
Or you could try reading something other than words on a computer monitor.
llllllllll | September 27, 2006 at 8:57 am
Jrzmommy, *reminder* please triple, quadruple check your retalitory response to #37. Please lets not make the same OUI error that has been made in the past
llllllllll | September 27, 2006 at 8:59 am
*retaliatory
hamacus | September 27, 2006 at 9:02 am
#21 Larry does have a certain Darth Sidious look going on.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Sidious
hamacus | September 27, 2006 at 9:04 am
Larry!
A Sith Lord!
It suddenly all makes sense.
jrzmommy | September 27, 2006 at 9:18 am
37–I like reading words in Obituaries….especially ones that say, “MadelBlue, random fuck commenter on Thesuperficial.com, dropped dead today when a house landed on top of him/her.” That, to me, is poetry.
hamacus | September 27, 2006 at 9:30 am
I love it too…Pure Maya Angelou type @#$*
Lolo | September 27, 2006 at 9:33 am
Doesn’t anyone else just think it’s HILARIOUS that this guy’s name is Howard Stern?
It’s like you are destined from birth to be trashy and weird if you are named Howard Stern. Like some secret Jewish curse.
86 | September 27, 2006 at 9:51 am
Poor Danilynn…she’s gonna have one hell of a honker.
I totally knew it was his baby. It surprises me that he lets her fuck other guys though. That blonde guy seems pretty damned sure it’s HIS kid.
siren823 | September 27, 2006 at 9:53 am
I knew it. He has hitched his wagon to her, becoming her toady and now, her baby daddy so he can lock into her money (if it ever comes in)
Angry Ferret Jones | September 27, 2006 at 9:53 am
BULLSHIT! I happen to know the guy that knocked her up, and this guy ain’t it.
I won’t use his real name. Let’s just call him “Brian Ambolism”. He is a huge poon-hound, and nailed her at a Bar Mitzvah in January.
He is a man ho!
jrzmommy | September 27, 2006 at 9:57 am
38, oui. I checked un, deux, trois and, OUI, MadelBlue is the…ahh…how do you say…..derriere de cochon….oui oui.
RichPort | September 27, 2006 at 10:15 am
Did this guy get his law degree on the internet? I mean, what the fuck? PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY… say it with me. He was obviously drunk and horny one night, and decided to plant his seed in her rancid soil. No way I, or any dick respecting man, would ever take responsibilty for this future pill addict. And someone get lawyer boy a comb.
#19 & 42 – You’re killing me today.
LL | September 27, 2006 at 10:21 am
I wasn’t really paying attention, and then for about 30 seconds, when I heard the name Howard Stern, I thought, “Holy crap, Howard Stern and Anna Nicole hooked up?”
Wrong Stern. My bad.
Of all the gigs in entertainment, being Anna Nicole’s (alleged) baby daddy has got to be one of the worst. If I was a guy and choosing the perfect vessel for my DNA, Anna Nicole would be WAY down on the list, maybe even below Courtney Love and Lindsay Lohan. Fat, skinny, fat, skinny, fat… that shit will mess you up almost as bad as the drugs. I’m quite frankly surprised any of her eggs still worked. I had assumed they’d all been ruined, like shriveled up or something by all the dieting and pharmaceuticals.
Hey, wasn’t her old-ass husband’s name Howard? Does she have a thing for Howards? Who’s next? Howard Dean? Ron Howard? Howard University? If I was anybody named Howard, I’d keep a sharp eye out for her, just in case.