Anna Nicole Smith’s baby has another new father

Anna Nicole Smith’s bodyguard is now claiming he’s Dannielynn’s real father, and that Anna Nicole suffered from life threatening seizures for which she was on medication. He tells Extra:

“She told me everything. She told me things no one else knows. I think it was an instant spark, and I think for her it was the same. She was wonderful. A very sensitive and emotional woman. A very good kisser, I must say. She was sick of being called names. Everyone was bashing on her and calling her names and putting her down and suing her. She always told me she wanted to have her kids with me. There’s always a possibility. Poor Anna. I hope she’s in peace wherever she is.”

We could save a lot of time if everybody just got DNA tested to see who the real father was. Or, ya know, we can just keep on letting every asshole in the world come forward and try to claim the inheritance. Somebody could dig up Martn Luther King, Jr’s corpse and say he’s the real father and it’d be just as believable.