Anna Nicole Smith wastes the Supreme Court’s time

By: Superficial / September 28, 2005

Anna_Nicole_Court.jpgWalking douchechill, Anna Nicole Smith, recently appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court in one last attempt to yank millions of dollars out of her late husband’s cold dead hands. Smith claims that oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II promised her millions of dollars when they got married in 1994 – he was 89 years old and she was 26 – but that Marshall’s son schemed to cut her out of the estate after Marshall’s passing only a year after he married Smith. Yesterday, U.S. Supreme Court justices said they would consider Smith’s appeal, which could land her as much as $474,000,000.

It scares me to think of future law school students studying the socio-legal implications of a case like Anna Nicole Smith v. Decency, where the evidence starts from Exhibit C and goes all the way through to Exhibit Double-F, and consists mostly of bras and the random number generator Anna Nicole used to determine the size of her new bust line every week. I’m not saying that her breasts will be a deciding factor in the high court’s decision per se, but you try to keep a bunch of angry old men’s attention for more than three minutes without flashing some bra action. Plus I hear Ruth Bader Ginsburg is totally into experimenting, and apparently she likes ‘em busty.