A legal document written by Anna Nicole Smith’s former nanny, Quethlie Alexis, in December has been leaked and it contains multiple accusations about Anna Nicole (aka Vickie Marshall), among them a claim she dangerously starved Dannielynn because “She wanted her baby to be ‘sexy’.” The accusations in the sworn affidavit include:
- Alexis was ordered to “underfeed” Dannielynn because “Ms. Marshall was obsessed with making sure that her baby was ‘sexy.’ Ms. Marshall knew that the correct amount of baby food was 3 ounces every 3 hours … Ms. Marshall insisted that the maximum I was to give was 2.5 ounces. Dannielynn is badly underweight and not thriving, as a baby should.”
- Anna Nicole threatened to “shoot her” if the baby ever addressed the nanny as “Mummy.”
- Anna Nicole tried to kill herself two separate times. “On the first occasion, she drank in my presence an entire bottle of what I believed to be a sleeping aid.” When Smith woke up from the resulting 48-hour coma, she blurted out the words “I wanted to die … I meant to kill myself.”
- Smith “tried to drown herself” in her swimming pool, but Howard K. Stern rescued her from the pool. After the rescue Stern was overheard saying to Smith, “If anything happens to you, I would go to jail.”
- She never witnessed Shane Gibson (the Bahamian Minister of Immigration) and Smith having sex, but the former nanny claims the minister would, “spend hours alone with Ms. Marshall in her bedroom” on a “daily basis.”
To be fair, fat babies are gross. I mean yeah, they might have a great personality and be full of life, but nobody wants to have sex with a cow. If anything we should applaud Anna Nicole for her continuing efforts to make infants look like the sexual objects that they are. I’m just surprised she didn’t try to get the kid breast implants.
danielle | February 14, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Apples
OhAySis | February 14, 2007 at 1:04 pm
My baby due June 27 is the father.
itspat | February 14, 2007 at 1:05 pm
diapers are not very slimming. and it wouldn’t have taken much to save ANuS from drowning, given her own forward-loading floatation devices.
saradevil | February 14, 2007 at 1:07 pm
I feel like there is a dead baby joke in there somewhere, but I’m just not the kind of girl who is willing to make it.
As tragicomedies go, though, this one just keeps getting worse and worse.
misanthrope | February 14, 2007 at 1:08 pm
Wha? What the hell is a sexy infant? And what the hell kind of a nanny taking care of an infant (knowing full well the baby is not thriving) would comply with a drugged out moron? She should be dis-nannied or whatever they do to those sort of people.
Noughty | February 14, 2007 at 1:10 pm
If Anna Nicole knew the past tense to the verb “mean”. If she actually said “I meant to kill myself” rather than something like “Uhn! Die wanty!”, then really, I’ll. Be. Damned.
RichPort | February 14, 2007 at 1:10 pm
I’d have given that sexy infant a Dirty Sanchez, complete with a meconium moustache.
misanthrope | February 14, 2007 at 1:20 pm
Ok, so Howard said, “If anything happens to you, I would go to jail.” Not, ‘If anything happens to you I would be really bummed.’ Truth hurts.
doomhammer | February 14, 2007 at 1:23 pm
“2.5 ounces of babyfood for baby, 2.5 ounces of methadone for mommy”
and #5, I think the word you are looking for is “deported”
F-Sucker | February 14, 2007 at 1:24 pm
This is the most crazy story in the history of the world.
Spindoc | February 14, 2007 at 1:25 pm
She wanted to keep the baby sexy for Howard. Since SHE wasn’t fucking him she figured SOMEBODY had to.
UNWASHEDMASSES | February 14, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Let’s see… since Anna died we’ve found out her baby has more daddies than a gang bang inseminated porn star, she had sex with apparently anyone who asked, and she liked her methadone chilled with a side of French’s mustard. Now this. Wow. If these revelations continue, her death will become a national day of rejoicing. Up next, Anna posted pics of Dannielynn on child molester websites for $$$$.
-Stormy. | February 14, 2007 at 1:26 pm
#7 – Nastiest. Comment. Ever!
cmn_snse | February 14, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Pssh. Who CARES if the baby is healthy or not…we want it to look SEXY for its picture with the Easter Bunny!
Hollywood babies. Wait. I take that back. Has-Been Mothers Who Are So Drugged Out They Can’t Even Form a Coherent Sentence Hollywood babies.
Mrs.Sack | February 14, 2007 at 1:31 pm
oh my god. nice.
okiedoke | February 14, 2007 at 1:34 pm
I pray to God this is not true.
justme | February 14, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Babies should get breast implants. It would be waaaay sexy..
ponk | February 14, 2007 at 1:35 pm
wally?…wally?…where are you wally?…put the gun DOWN!
Michael1 | February 14, 2007 at 1:37 pm
I would think this is all made up, but no one could make this shit up. It’s too surreal.
ANS shouldn’t have had a reality show, she should’ve had her own lab at NASA, devoted to studying the bizarre gravitational force that pulled chaos into her wake and sucked the common sense out of the brain of anyone in a 5 mile radius — but first they would’ve had to figure out what planet she was from.
missdavis | February 14, 2007 at 1:37 pm
I am shocked even she would do this. The best thing that will ever happen to this little girl is her mother dying and that is sad.
missdavis | February 14, 2007 at 1:38 pm
I am shocked even she would do this. The best thing that will ever happen to this little girl is her mother dying and that is sad.
Tracy | February 14, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Instead of saying “yes ma’am” and underfeeding the baby, the nanny should have called Child Services. She’s just as guilty of neglect as ANS and should be arrested.
Josh_Lavarn | February 14, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Michael Jackson will probably now claim to be the father of the “sexy” baby…
Mrs.Sack | February 14, 2007 at 1:47 pm
I agree #22. Does anyone else find it odd that the nanny sat by and did nothing while ANS was in a 48-hour “coma”?
misanthrope | February 14, 2007 at 1:48 pm
See post 5.
Josh_Lavarn | February 14, 2007 at 1:48 pm
She probably fed her baby Trimspa Flintson Vitamins.
empress,bytches | February 14, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Does anyone here watch DRAWN TOGETHER? Doesnt this post remind you of the time TOOTS had adopted a baby and then the baby got pregged up? Yes babies need to be sexy, saggy diapers are hott!!!!!!
whitegold | February 14, 2007 at 1:51 pm
What I don’t understand is why a legal document and a sworn affidavit was necessary so the nanny could gossip? Was the nanny even trying to get custody of this baby back in December?! What was the purpose of this legal document?!
misanthrope | February 14, 2007 at 1:52 pm
I’m usually anti-nanny, but in this case you’d think it would be the best idea in the world. Turns out it was the same difference.
EazyE | February 14, 2007 at 1:53 pm
i’m sure even that diet was much healther for the baby than sucking her mother’s breast milk, dangerous not only because of the chemical intake, but also the threat of getting smothered in her bosom.
Baby Moon | February 14, 2007 at 1:55 pm
#17 HILARIOUS haha
Carsten5577 | February 14, 2007 at 1:58 pm
What a fucking stupid whore! Either she didn’t know or didn’t care that malnutrition can affect a child’s I.Q. and overall development. “Parents” such as her should be shot, or, at the very least, sterilized.
fritobandito | February 14, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Trim Spa Baby! Get it? She wanted a trim spa baby! Oh forget it!
crazybroad | February 14, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Forget a college fund for Dannielynn — whoever gets custody needs to start saving NOW for the decades of therapy she’s gonna need.
Whoever gets THAT job is gonna be richer than Trump.
Speaking of custody of underfed children, where’s Brangelina when you need them?
Josh_Lavarn | February 14, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Friggin hypocrite. She friggin was a disgusting blimp on her dumb reality show, but then forces he baby to starve.
misanthrope | February 14, 2007 at 2:02 pm
@26 & 33… You’re onto something there. Maybe the baby was under contract too?
fritobandito | February 14, 2007 at 2:03 pm
just think if she had lived, the kid would have had badly bleached hair extensions befor her first birthday!
itspat | February 14, 2007 at 2:04 pm
seems a little fishy (no pun intended). what are the odds that either of these women could do fractions?
fritobandito | February 14, 2007 at 2:06 pm
#38 ANS probably knew exactly what 2.5 ounces looks like, isn’t that how coke comes? In ounces? Maybe she was afraid the kid would get an 8 ball of formula!
fritobandito | February 14, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Imagine all the shit she took when she was pregnant so she wouldn’t gain back all the weight. That baby was probably born addicted to Trimspa!
teh_cheat | February 14, 2007 at 2:12 pm
i’m surprised no one has stated the obvious:
TRIMSPA BABY!
BoogieDownBee | February 14, 2007 at 2:12 pm
Here’s another worm that crawled out of the dirt to feed on Anna Nicole corpse. Some nanny this is … she claims that AN was bombed out of her mind most of the time, yet she followed her instructions on feeding the baby 2.5 oz. of food instead of 3 oz. Yea … right!!!
How far will these sickos go just to get their 5 mins. of fame(they don’t even warrant 15).
Let the poor woman rest in peace and stop this feeding frenzy!!!!
teh_cheat | February 14, 2007 at 2:13 pm
doh!
WiseMan | February 14, 2007 at 2:15 pm
THESE FUCKING RETARDED AMERICAN TURDS ARE A DRAIN ON THIS STINKING PLANET. THIS WOMAN IS DEAD, SO LET HER BE DEAD IN PEACE. FUCKING FAT HAMBURGER EATING CUNTS NEED TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON. BLOW UP AMERICA.
Michael1 | February 14, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Um, #42 & #44 I seriously doubt that Anna Nicoleis reading this commentary, so no one is _not_ “letting” her rest in peace. D’oh.
misanthrope | February 14, 2007 at 2:19 pm
@42… I think the problem is that someone could come out and say ANS rented out her va-jay-jay to kids parties, and at this point, no one would bat an eye. She seemed to surround herself with like-minds.
biatcho | February 14, 2007 at 2:20 pm
#42 it’s either stop feeding the frenzy or stop feeding the baby. Your choice? You can’t have both. Personally I would hate to see a poor defenseless sexy baby go to waste because one out of every 100 people is an ANS fan so I say feed the frenzy and fuck that baby!
Oh & #44 – good luck dealing with the FBI after that comment that was just typed from your computer on a public forum. Jackalope.
jrzmommy | February 14, 2007 at 2:20 pm
So I’m going to go out on a huge limb (no pun intended) and assume that supernanny here can be seen at night only when she smiles. And that she’s lying.
Wednesday | February 14, 2007 at 2:23 pm
If you check out the affidavit, the nanny is married, has one kid, and worked for ANS from 8am to 10pm, 7 days a week. Jeebus.
biatcho | February 14, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Nice try Jrz’s racist troll. God you are so incrediby pathetic!!! I hope your family members get mauled by rabid dogs this evening and that you get blamed for it and get stuck in a jail cell with a big black man named Bunny that wants to make you his bitch for life.