Because the madness will never end, Anna Nicole Smith and Howard K. Stern got married yesterday on a boat near Nassau. They reportedly exchanged vows, although there was no formal marriage and the ceremony isn’t “legally binding” according to Anna’s other lawyer, Michael Scott (just like The Office!). So basically Anna Nicole and Stern put on a little show where they pretended to get married. And I mean, why not? At the rate they’re going they could become space pirates and it’d just seem like the natural progression of their lives.
Shaun | September 29, 2006 at 11:09 am
Booooooooo!
Shaun | September 29, 2006 at 11:10 am
She seems so concerned about her recent loss. What a twat.
caljenna | September 29, 2006 at 11:10 am
Oh, Anna, Anna, Anna…for the last time, he is NOT the shock jock!!!
Wampoon.com | September 29, 2006 at 11:12 am
Ann Banna Po-canna
http://wampoon.com
Angry Ferret Jones | September 29, 2006 at 11:21 am
You know what? I have a GREAT life. Seriously, I can’t even fathom what a cluster fuck her life must be.
jrzmommy | September 29, 2006 at 11:21 am
….add to To Do List: Send the Sterns a wedding gift….His and Hers Monogrammed Nooses.
Angry Ferret Jones | September 29, 2006 at 11:23 am
“Tell this twat to get some fucking jelly – stat.”
There Fish! You want to go head-to-head with Dane Cook references, I am a mental terrorist with that shit!!!
pinky_nip | September 29, 2006 at 11:29 am
Just call me DJ Diddles… rocking the clits from the ’80′s, ’90′s and today!
shell | September 29, 2006 at 11:31 am
It’s really a shame they aren’t still filming her reality show.
RichPort | September 29, 2006 at 11:34 am
I’m bored of this story…
TCLTC
enfilade | September 29, 2006 at 11:41 am
What a tragedy.
http://www.sidekickwallpaper.com/
Triumph Insult Dog | September 29, 2006 at 11:44 am
SAD, SAD day for boobies…
http://www.blackbeatpress.com
radio4play | September 29, 2006 at 11:45 am
RIP sanity
sharkbite | September 29, 2006 at 11:47 am
And so soon after her son’s death… what?!
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
weenis | September 29, 2006 at 11:52 am
…and the bleeding hearts try to creep away from the blog veeeeery sloooooowly…
katlady12 | September 29, 2006 at 11:55 am
There goes what little sympathy I had for her. Her and her gold-digging lawyer deserve each other. It was a set-up from the beginning. Marry a dying multi-gazillionaire, inherit his money and retire to the Bahamas with your accomplice-lawyer-friend. Makes me sick. Ok, next story, please.
CelebSlam.com | September 29, 2006 at 11:58 am
How romantic. When’s her son’s funeral again?
http://www.celebslam.com
dupababy | September 29, 2006 at 11:59 am
amen #15.. i was getting tired of being bomblastified by those fuckers acting like they needed to be all sweet to this piece of dog crap.. took her 2.5 seconds to pimp her sons final moments… then another 6.2 seconds to decide there was a new, improved baby daddy.. and bam! here she is all hitched and shit.. she puts the ska in skank..
Madrid Marriott | September 29, 2006 at 12:04 pm
Show some compassion. She is clearly in a very emotionally fragile state. First, her beloved husband dies, and she has to endure a contentious legal battle. Now, her world has recently come crashing down around her, and I think it is wrong for anyone here or anywhere else to belittle this Woman. She is in love. Is that a crime? And she just wants someone to hold her at night during this time of need. Is there something wrong with that?
In summary, can’t a girl get high and suck some cock without you people passing judgment? Geez.
RichPort | September 29, 2006 at 12:10 pm
Yes you fuckfaces. Please line up and eat me, but save some for the rest who called this beeotch a waste of the human genome. I hope she cried all the way to the fucking altar, mascara running down her face like Tammy fucking Baker. Bitch.
polypam | September 29, 2006 at 12:13 pm
Marrying one’s lawyer a mere 2 weeks after your 20 year-old son suddenly dies is just a natural chain of events for some people, I guess.
Still, it seems to put her son’s drug use much more into perspective.
Brain Embolism | September 29, 2006 at 12:13 pm
@7 – Tell ‘em Ferret!
You Angry Ferret you.
Brain Embolism | September 29, 2006 at 12:16 pm
Like I said on another site, under a diferent name.
She seems all broken up about the recent events.
Just like OJ.
Brain Embolism | September 29, 2006 at 12:17 pm
fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
Brain Embolism | September 29, 2006 at 12:19 pm
Two ff’s in diferent…
jrzmommy | September 29, 2006 at 12:36 pm
Oh Star Maker Machinery, et. al…..come out come out! Please defend her now. PLEEEEEEEEEASE…..just a little bit? Just enough so we can all tear into you a little.
RichPort | September 29, 2006 at 1:10 pm
#26 – Chocolate Starfish Machinery is hiding under her desk weeping. I haven’t heard from her since I decided to ask her to face fuck a horse taking piss. She’s been mad at the faceless internet ever since.
Italian Stallion | September 29, 2006 at 1:24 pm
Just like a fucking whore, getting married after the baby…………
BoognishRising | September 29, 2006 at 1:30 pm
Marrying this guy is simply her way of dealing with the tragic loss of her son. She’s keeping herself occupied via a new relationship in order to distract her from her pain. It may seem bizarre or even insensitive to the rest of us, but maybe that’s just her way of coping.
Oh who am I kidding? Anna should be boiled in a vat of rancid monkey spunk.
jrzmommy | September 29, 2006 at 1:54 pm
She is without a doubt the lowest-class there could ever be. You just DON’T DO THAT after your child dies.
I dunno gang……should we cast our votes for Mother-of-the-Year? Anna Nicole, Kate Moss, Britney or Whitney Houston.
cole007 | September 29, 2006 at 2:15 pm
just goes to show what pretty retards can do if given a chance to shine!
Aaronmalamend | September 29, 2006 at 2:35 pm
Personally, it all seems way too set-up to me. I think that Stern wants to knock her off, and he didn’t want jr. to inherit her loot. He was the 1st on on the scene of his death. This will be an ongoing situation years to come… just wait. Foul.
Pinky1978 | September 29, 2006 at 2:42 pm
I felt really bad for her after the loss of her son…but getting married before burying said son? Now I feel bad for the loss of her decency, class, shame…
Tracie | September 29, 2006 at 3:05 pm
You’ve GOT TO LOVE the press release!
“Anna Nicole and Howard escaped their house at three o’clock this morning and boarded a boat to quietly sail the ocean around Nassau … on a clandestine sail to recapture simple pleasures — fresh salt air on the face, a sunrise on the ocean, and wind in their hair. And then a good thing happened: during the sail, Anna Nicole Smith and Howard K. Stern made a commitment before God to be there for one another, to be each other’s strength during this difficult time. By mid-morning, helicopters flew overhead, speed boats approached, and camera-equipped scuba divers invaded what had been an otherwise perfect moment of peace, solitude, and hope. The event was intended to be totally private between two adults deeply in love with each other and needing simple reassurances that they could count on one another through life’s ups and downs. The outing was never expected to be shared with anyone other than Howard, Anna, [her newborn daughter] Dannielynn Hope and a few close friends and family.”
Although the ceremony was officiated, it was not a wedding and no marriage certificate was issued. Obviously, Howard is not the father and the “commitment” is for the sole purpose of trying to keep the real father, celebrity photographer Larry Birkhead, from getting his grubby hands on her grubby money that she won in her own grubby fashion. This poor baby girl is the central pawn in a disgusting play for Anna Nicole’s ill-gained fortune. Photographer and lawyer have dollar signs in their eyes…Nicole has another drug-induced haze coming before hers…
biatcho | September 29, 2006 at 3:20 pm
makes sense. you lose your son & 2 weeks later have a wedding in the Bahamas where your son died. Nothing like a dead son to say “let’s have ourselves a ho-down!”
ValeWolf | September 29, 2006 at 5:20 pm
You know what? she had to do something like this to ease the pain. For real. She would have killed herself without something like this.
duds | September 29, 2006 at 8:04 pm
I can’t believe she’s getting married so soon. My God, my heart went out to this woman when she lost her son, now I’m like ‘what the funk’ is she so friggin’ looney that she can’t spend at least a month at the loss of her son instead of trying to hide the identity of her newborns father? Its pathetic, my sympathy is out of the window for her and I’m sorry but, she’s a wacko! And, to think, she was just about to earn my respect. I should have know better. Now, I do. Thanks for the post for I will no longer defend this idiotic mother to another mortal soul who bashes her to bits, ’cause actions speak louder than words and she deserves all she gets. Sad, but true!
Jenners | September 29, 2006 at 11:42 pm
Beggin’ your pardon, but the Natalie Holloway sad saga was much more newsworthy and interesting then this dog and pony show. It’s like watching performance art where the performers bring their own audience.
Spindoc | September 30, 2006 at 7:59 am
Ok, so first he kills the son, now he’s trying to gain paternity over the newborn. Sounds like his plan is almost complete.
Candy | September 30, 2006 at 11:42 am
They did NOT get married. It was just a “commitment ceremony.”
http://www.HolyCandy.com
ProbablyTooOld | September 30, 2006 at 2:21 pm
Hmmm…
Would a court recognize a “commitment ceremony” as a marriage of sorts if either of them are called to testify as to the events in the hospital room in the Bahamas?
This fast, weird ceremony makes me think Stern gave Daniel some of the meds that were found in his bloodstream and is trying to make sure Anna cannot testify against him in court due to marital privilege (not that she could–she’s got memory loss but then again, Stern never struck me as a top rate lawyer who would understand minutia like that).
It’s hard to pity Anna but at the same time, damn. She’s not a smart woman, she’s an emotional cavern, many think her lawyer possibly contributed to her son’s death and now she’s “married” to him. A ripe mango is less easily manipulated than this sad, unintelligent woman.
Steeno | September 30, 2006 at 3:51 pm
41, exactly!
HolisticWisdomcom | October 1, 2006 at 12:12 am
I know people deal with grief in different ways, but this all seems so odd.
However, when you see that she wore a wedding dress to her late husband’s funeral… perhaps this makes sense in Anna’s crazy, little world.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
Dirt McGirt | October 1, 2006 at 2:20 am
He is such a typical Jew…
Steeno | October 1, 2006 at 3:42 pm
44, how’s that?
tracyp | October 2, 2006 at 10:25 am
http://www.rte.ie/arts/2006/1002/smithan.html
from the website:
According to one of Smith’s attorneys, Michael Scott, the ceremony was “not legally binding”.
“The goal was to exchange vows to reaffirm a commitment they have made to each other. It was also to give them a shot of emotional adrenaline,” said Scott.
A SHOT OF EMOTIONAL ADRENALINE?
was he being funny or just stupid?
tracyp | October 2, 2006 at 10:26 am
http://www.rte.ie/arts/2006/1002/smithan.html
from the website:
According to one of Smith’s attorneys, Michael Scott, the ceremony was “not legally binding”.
“The goal was to exchange vows to reaffirm a commitment they have made to each other. It was also to give them a shot of emotional adrenaline,” said Scott.
A SHOT OF EMOTIONAL ADRENALINE?
was he being funny or just stupid?
tracyp | October 2, 2006 at 10:29 am
From website: http://www.rte.ie/arts/2006/1002/smithan.html
According to one of Smith’s attorneys, Michael Scott, the ceremony was “not legally binding”.
“The goal was to exchange vows to reaffirm a commitment they have made to each other. It was also to give them a shot of emotional adrenaline,” said Scott.
A SHOT OF EMOTIONAL ADRENALINE? Is he trying to funny or is he just stupid?
tracyp | October 2, 2006 at 10:30 am
test
Glammarama | October 7, 2006 at 10:54 am
How sad! This woman is obviously devastated by the loss of her son. She is probably just acting out and trying to escape. It’s bad taste and I think she would have just been better off to lay low. But who knows what goes on in these famous people’s heads. When you live in a fish bowl, sometimes you just snap I guess.