Anna Nicole Smith buys Bahamas citizenship

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Residents of the Bahamas reportedly pissed off because Anna Nicole Smith reportedly got bumped to the top of the citizenship list after she had a $10,000 check delivered to the personal home of the Bahamas’ immigration minister. Smith was allegedly given citizenship in a super quick three weeks, although the immigration minister is insisting it took three months.

“Now granted this one was done very quickly,” he told The Bahama Journal. “We did our research. It’s not the first time.” He cited the case of a wealthy Czech financier from 1995, whose application was processed in just over two months.

I knew Anna was in the Bahamas to avoid a paternity battle against Larry Birkhead but I didn’t realize she was so serious about it she actually got her citizenship. I believe the next step in her epically suspicious saga is to create an offshore bank account in the Cayman islands, walk around in a trenchcoat and sunglasses, and repeatedly meet a mustached stranger, occasionally giving him a briefcase of some sort.