Anna Faris in a bikini – on her honeymoon. Sonofabitch!

June 21st, 2009 // 101 Comments

Here’s Anna Faris and her new husband Chris Pratt in Maui – where they eloped this weekend. That’s right, these two are not only together but married. I swear I will spend every minute of every day trying to win her heart away from this man. And fortunately it looks like she’s attracted to unbridled sloth, so beers and Xbox it is which is pretty much what I was going to do anyway. For you, my love, for you. (Be a doll and try not to walk in front of the TV if you drop by. Heart you!)

Aw, yeah, this is totally gonna work.

Photos: Fame, Flynet, Splash News

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  1. T-Mon

    she lost her glasses or something… If I was a girl and my guy was wearing those shorts… I’d definitly kill him

  2. T-Mon

    she lost her glasses or something… If I was a girl and my guy was wearing those shorts… I’d definitly kill him

  3. Ren

    What the bloody fuck is that guy doing in the second picture? Jesus-fucking-Christ, I am completely repulsed right now.

    That bitch is way too hot to be married to that fat piece of shit.

  4. name

    She’s an average chick and looks somewhat like an albino. That guy is hideously gross. Lose that nasty beer gut. He has the body of a 50 year-old truck driver

  5. amanda

    i sure hope hes funny…

  6. Theyre quite the power couple! its like ganzo (from sesame street) in a bikini with an unfunny John Candy

  7. Ananana

    oooh i love her husband!! he’s so cute *-*

  8. ananana

    only because fat man makes me squirt…

  9. Hooligan

    Her husband has microscopic nipples.

  10. Dana

    OMG that guy is fugly! How the hell did he land a piece of ass like her?!

  11. required

    He looks like an inbred who has been kept in the basement all his life

  12. Funeral Guy

    No opinion on her or her husband. Just nice to see a woman without huge fake bolt on titties.

  13. Regan

    he’s probably got a fuckin awesome personality.

  14. jesus

    when did anna get so fat? my god it seems like only yesterday she was so slim and sweet looking.

  15. amoi

    Maybe he’s got lots of money.

  16. spo

    This is obviously a joke! …right? hahaha? I’m not really a fan of hers but COME ON!!! what a doofus!! I would say I bet he’s got a huge C*ck but judging by those pics it doesn’t really seem to be the case. I bet he’s really funny. Good for him. He’s leveling the playing field!!

  17. Dongless

    I can’t believe no one has commented on his micro penis. That package might even fall into front wedge status.

  18. FIRST, how is she fat? This confuses me..I don’t see it. SECOND, her husband DOES have tiny nipples..they are insanely small. THIRD, so he may not look very good, but he must be doing something right to have landed such a cute, respectable girl. At least he has a sense of humor! I’d date a guy like THAT any day over a typical “JAGERBOMBS. JAGERBOMBS AND SKANKS!!!” type guy.

  19. Hooligan

    Yeah you always need to be the cute on in the relationship right watermelon?

  20. Darth

    How do they know that i’m a general as well? But only in times of crisis.*Salutes* Good luck to their marriage!

  21. Some hotties like to chill with ugly guys because they suffer from narcissicism personality disorder and can’t deal with the idea of competition in that way. True story.

  22. REALITY CHECK

    SHE LOOKS LIKE AN ALBINO ASHLEY SIMPSON, NOT HOT.

    OH ND P.S. HER BOOBS ARE CLEARLY FAKES PEOPLE. TWO LITTLE IMPLANTS FIRMLY PLANTED ON HER CHEST. WAY TO GO BY GETTING THEM SMALL SO NOBODY NOTICES, OR MAYBE NOBODY CARES TBH.

    THE WAY THEY SO PERFECTLY SIT UP ALL FIRM AND ROUND IN PIC #1!!!LAYING INCHES “ABOVE” THE BOTTOM OF HER BIKINI TOP, CLEARLY FAKE, CAN’T BELIEVE NOBODY HAS SAID ANYTHING YET. THOUGH MAYBE YOU WERE ALL BLINDED BY HER SKIN. YIKES.

  23. amanda

    @21 bitches love my haircut! lmfao

  24. REALITY CHECK

    TYPO, I MEANT TO SAY THE WAY THEY SIT UP ALL PERKY, INCHES ABOVE THE BOTTOM OF HER BIKINI TOP IN PIC #14… PIC 14, NOT PIC 1.

  25. amanda

    in pic 4 he actually dosnt look too bad
    maybe he got fat after they were together for awhile
    and i bet hes adorable in a t-shirt and jeans

    also: so hwat if her boob are fake, theyre not huge and nasty so its not a big deal, implants can look really, really good if theyre well done

  26. required

    @21

    He’s not fat compared to the WalMart and McDonalds crowd that you normally hang with – compared to most people his age, he’s a Pillsbury Doughboy with no muscle definition at all. Just a lump of fat and skin.

    Oh yes, she does have some firm, fake titties. She must have gotten them for her playboy bunny role and decided it was better than the pancakes she had before

  27. minty

    good call on the breast implants, REALITY CHECK. isn’t it interesting how her biking top is actually baggy underneath her boobs, as opposed to holding the girlsl up? and her boobs just magically sit there all perky.

    but aside from that i have to say that i LOVE this girl. she is truly hilarious and not afraid to make a fool of herself in her movies. i would rather see a girl with personality here rather than miss no-personality-no-talent megan fox for a change.

  28. Lain

    I think she might’ve taken her implants out :)

    Good for her!

  29. Lain

    I could’ve sworn her implants were much larger, especially in that movie. Many of you say she’s still has them, and I see the point. Perhaps she exchanged them for smaller ones.

  30. Lain

    What annoys me if how you agree her boobs are fake while many of you refuse to believe Lindsay Lohan has real cans. How can Lindsay’s breast be real? They’re huge and have no fluctuated at all, despite the fact she’s lost a ton of weight.

  31. Rasputins Liver

    .

    Uh….

    ……………umm……..

    ……………………………who’s that fat tub of lard next to her?

    That fat boy’s gonna get even fatter in a few years. There’ll come a day when this chick wakes up and wonders why the hell Florida Fats Rush Limbaugh is in her bed next to her.

    That aside…..

    …………………………she aint a bad piece of Aryan Barbie fluff.

    As bimbos go.

    .

  32. :B

    yeah, I think they’re hilarious. so he’s not hot? Who cares? You’re not fucking him.

    and I wouldnt want to see any of you in either one of their bathing suits.

    They dont take themselves seriously, I’d say that’s refreshing.

    Now you and YOU, go overdose.

  33. jay

    Oh God, I’m heartbroken. Treat her right you lucky bastard!!

  34. bmose

    PLEASE tell me he’s not related to Spencer.

  35. whatever

    They look good together and he’s cute! He was in the shows Everwood and The O.C. He might have gained some weight, but I think he looks good.
    Though he shouldn’t stick out his stomach like that lol.

  36. ksn

    face = 4 out of 10
    body = 8 out of 10 (plus/minus fake boobs, depending on how you feel about fakes)

    good call on the boobs, REALITY CHECK. i will say, however, her skin looks fine! its an even tone, no cellulite, and not pasty at all in my opinion. don’t let the likes of shauna sand fool you – being that tan is NOT natural, and NOT healthy, and NOT attractive. i think she does have some nice color for a fair skinned girl. i think her skin is actually one of the prettiest things about her. lol. but, anyhow, those are IMPLANTS…and the size was a perfect choice for her frame and body type – depending on her natural size, i’d say she need those to balance out her body.

    and @ #32 Lain – i think in ‘house bunny’ she had the same implants, i think she wore a push up bra to make them look bigger and more implant-y. i actually think she said she wore a massive push up bra. if these were natural, they would be pretty big – but in the movie, i know they look like excessively large.

  37. Iambananas

    She looks great! She must work out! He looks funny, too… like he makse her laugh

  38. Zee Brat

    I bet he definitely makes her laugh. He looks like a good guy.

  39. the truth

    that guy looks like a phukin homo!! goddamn he has some huge lard caked legs. she looks like she is from mississippi or something.

  40. Christopher G

    Pic 18/20: Dat Ass

  41. Benbaby

    Reply to #13. Ever thought looks aren’t important?

  42. Pookie

    #21- I completely agree with you!
    I just think it’s nice to see a celeb who obviously has depth. I think her hubby is pretty cute. I’m not into scrawny guys either so I get it. And why does it matter if she has implants or not??? Jeez. If she does have them I think they look great.

  43. so, so, ROUGH

    You mean this chic was IN playboy or deliver playboy?

  44. Lorenzo

    Wow, he gives hope to ugly guys all around the world. Thank you Anna!

  45. the assman is saddened. but would still hit that. the female of course.

  46. Those shorts look very tight, or his legs are huge.

  47. Looks like me and Anna like the same kind of men. Rock on sister!

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