Ann Coulter’s jaw wired shut

November 26th, 2008 // 160 Comments

Fa la la la! Ann “I’ll Say My Own Mother is a Queer Terrorist to Sell Books” Coulter’s jaw is reportedly wired shut after she broke it it in an undisclosed incident, according to Page Six. Wow. Can you folks excuse me? I suddenly feel the need to laugh hysterically for the next 20 years of my life. No, really, this could take a while.

Thanks to Josh who wonders how Ann Coulter will lay her demon eggs now that her mouth is sealed shut. Good question. There a scientist in the house?

Photo: WENN

  1. bubba

    they never know when to shut up

  2. Spanky

    I bet she would still be a good fuck. Sort of like make up sex all of the time.

  3. My Name is Wepeel

    Ann Coulter is awesome. I wish her a speedy recovery.

    Geekologie Writer > Superficial Writer

  4. Nietzsche's co-pilot

    Leave her like that.

  5. LawnGnome

    What a huge head and face. She reminds me of that chick that wrote the Harry Potter books.

  6. The injury would heal much more quickly if she had a burlap sack over her face.

    #3 – But…. but… she’s a good Christian girl who happens to be unmarried… that means she’s supposed to have cobwebs on her cooter…

  7. Its just laws of nature taking place,,,its time for tranquility, hopefully Manatee Limbaugh is next ….

  8. don't hate

    Why all the hate for her? She makes fun of liberals (read, Hollywood) just like this site. She doesn’t apologize like most public figures. And she pisses people off–which I like. Haha, she can still write.

  9. i hate the superficial's commentators

    ahhh now all the republican ignorant racist and let’s say it impotent commentators of the superficial are going to raise their shields to defend this disgraceful woman… who has just experienced, by the way… the concept of karma!

    com’on you primitive, uneducated and oh so bigot commentators, let’s hear it!

  10. Narcissist

    It’s a Festivus MIRACLE! Now they need to rig something up to cover her ratty face and body.

  11. BSR

    Why the long face Ann?

  12. Obamasmama

    Hope she gets well soon so she keep everybody up ta date on that no good ILLEGAL immigrant sistanlaw o’ mine !!

  13. Amanda Duerk

    She is a lucky woman if her boyfriend is that bigg!!!

  14. ummm...yeah

    I felt such satisfaction when I punched the bitch in the mouth. *sigh*

  15. Pepper

    my brother broke his jaw, and it was wired shut, and he could still talk just fine. he lost 60lbs though bc you can’t eat anything. poor Ann, she is a twig already.

  16. client9

    This would be like tying Billy Mays arms behind his back and making him do a commercial. He’d have a seizure trying to get his hands out in front of him.

    Ann’s HOT! I’d do her while she whispered sweet conservative pablum in my ear.


  17. Ann Coulter told Michael Savage she brought Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings, but if he didn’t want it, she would chew through the kitchen wall because she smelled peanut butter on a spoon in the sink. Ann Coulter chewed through a television power cord. Ann Coulter chewed a hole in a sack of corn.

  18. Flash

    Karma anyone? I don’t wish her any ill will, however she is the bitch of all bitches. O… and #4 your a idiot, for the first statement.

  19. Richard McBeef

    Huh… I thought they usually put horses down when they are injured.

  20. Democrat Dave

    10 – if Michael Moore or Bill Maher had their jaws wired shut, I bet you wouldn’t be saying a word.

  21. Richard McBeef

    18 – I have no idea what you are talking about, but I can tell you are spot on and awesome simultaneously.

  22. Ted from LA

    I’d never punch her in the mouth…

    However, I would take great pleasure in punching her in the Adam’s apple (how could you miss?) and kicking her in the nuts.

  23. Mack

    Wow, when did this site become the New York Times?

  24. Chris

    This is proof there is a God and he wants us to be happy.

  25. Uncle Eccoli

    Undisclosed, eh? I’ll bet somebody knocked the shit out of her. Shame they stopped at a broken jaw.

  26. #10
    You generalizing all republicans as being racists and ignorant is real telling of your intellect level. Why… generalizing might even be the root origing for racism. It’s ok babe…we don’t expect you to comprehend the irony in your own post.

  27. forestbehindtrees

    16 – are you kidding?! She’s a total cow! 60 lbs off would make her just about right…YUUUUUUMMMMMMY! And 21, I would so laugh my ass off if MM had his jaw wired shut. He’s a fucknut liberal that makes the rest of us look bad. As for Bill Maher, however; he’s so positively dreamy, I would cry if this happened to him.

  28. C’mon, Fish, this the best ya got for a cold dark Monday morning? I pretty much don’t even know who she is, something about Clinton I think…???
    But really, put up something newsworthy, it has been an exceptionally long fuckin weekend..

  29. alex reager

    I would love to punch Coulter right in the face. She is the devil and I’m embarrassed to say, I’m glad she cant open her lie-trap.

  30. me

    You’re just jealous that she’s hot and conservative. There has always been a liberal double standard with everything. NOW only stands up for liberal women. Supposedly nice, loving, and innocent gay people are allowed to protest but those who peacefully counter-protest are met with screaming and physical violence. Trying to appeal to a liberals sense of logic will never work, because they don’t have one.

  31. Deacon Jones

    I guarantee the story behind this comes out over the next few days.

    And man, do I wish it involves this self-hating cunt getting whaled in the face. It has to.

  32. well that’s irony

  33. grobpilot

    #10: Learn how to spell and punctuate. Your comment was like trying to understand a broken cell phone conversation.

  34. Richard McBeef

    @31 – There is something seriously wrong with you if you think that emaciated horse is hot.

  35. Zac

    I heard she was assaulted by a gay Mexican. Rolled up a big, queer Paco-fist and broke the bitch’s jaw.

  36. washington

    So she will have to deal with a few weeks of non-forcible entry of my penis, too bad. I’ll make that shit up to her later.

  37. Bickus Dickus

    Liberals hate Ann because she tells the truth, which as we all know, the Truth is like Kryptonite to a Liberal. Just like education and employment is like Kryptonite to black people. I love to just sit and watch how Liberals are so uneducated and brainwashed.

  38. Sport

    Someone please break Obama’s jaw.

  39. Ron

    One word to this anti-America HO,…….KARMA

  40. Crusty

    # 27 and # 31 have it right. All Ann does is expose liberal hypocrisy and those who believe such hypocrisy doesn’t exist would be first on her ridicule list.

    Grow up people..

  41. How Bitter Can Ann Coulter Be Now That She Is An Old Sagging B!tch?


    You have to understand: the ratio between hot conservative women vs. hot liberal women is almost zero, so Ann Coulter is hot according to the conservative standards.

  42. Ann Cunter, your comeupannce has comeupped!

  43. Bickus Dickus

    #40 – Ann is pro-American, she is a true American conservative, which is why all the socialists hate her. You and your gay liberal activist commie pinko friends are Anti-American.

    And KARMA will be you sitting around waiting for your welfare check that’s never gonna come because you got duped into voting for Obomma.

  44. Starchasm

    AAAHAHAHAHAHA! Christmas miracles really DO happen!

  45. Balls McCoy

    Catty liberals carrying on about Coulter’s calamity? How contrived!

  46. Ronald Reagan

    All the Obamonkeys hate her because she has the “audacity” to actually criticize the perpetual failure of liberal gov’t programs.

  47. amber

    Karmetic justice has risen.

  48. zebop

    Ann: “I’ll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy. Get it over here, buddy. Let’s do this.’

  49. The Secret Service

    #39 we want a word with you

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