Angelina still likes clam

December 12th, 2005 // 83 Comments

angelina572.jpgIt seems that amidst all the husband-stealing, kidnapping, and “world-saving,” Angelina Jolie was still able to find time to have sex with a woman. I say good for her. Former lover Jenny Shimizu has come forward saying that she and Angelina have had an ongoing affair over the last decade.

Angelina Jolie

superficial

  1. doobydoobydoo

    yeah.. This Jenny person is definitely not remotely attractive.. at least not as a woman. She might be the hottest asian boy the world has ever seen though. but I’m not an authority on such things. Probably because I’m living in this trailer park down in Alabama. I’ll bet if I went to NYC I might understand the mysteries of the universe. Like for example, why lesbians can be attracted to butch women that look like men. i mean, if you’re a woman attracted to manly characteristics how can you be gay? Seems like gay women should be attracted to femininity. Perhaps they are attracted to men but have a penis phobia? which I totally understand.. my biggest fear is meeting a hot chick in a club one night and later in the night her trying to show me her “candy”. Reminds me of this episode of Maury Povich where.. well.. nevermind…

  2. hafaball

    Ahh! Damn my curiosity…another yoko ono? I just don;t get what this means; “If she can ring you and you can meet up then she can take care of her sexual needs.” Wha?

  3. HollyJ

    OMG! You’re RIGHT! =0

    Ronald MacDonald and Annie DO look just alike! No wonder I kept asking for Daddy Warbucks at the drive-thru.

  4. Wow, after reading these comments, I’ll stick to NOT looking for said dyke, and keep my eye sight AND my fantasies(lesbians in my mind are only hot, the bulls are bulls therefore are only masquerading men.)

    thanx for the fyi, oh and I almost forgot, stfu you righteous fuks!

  5. unknownassassin

    “Wow! I must be surrounded by the worlds most beautiful people if most of you reckon that Jenny is ugly. Please can you send in photos to back up this claim, also please don’t ever leave your home and try to spread this disease that you seem to have, which is hatred of anyone who might have a better car or a better cell phone, or a little bit more money, you are all PATHETIC (of course except the ones that agree with me). Its sad to see so many people ready to bag someone that you have never met, will never meet, and most certainly would never like to meet you. Go back to your trailer park.”

    i will preface my comments with this: i do not doubt for one moment that you are a kind, sensitive, well-grounded person with solid values and a great sense of humanity…

    …having said that, forgive me if i’m mistaken, but i don’t recall any negative posts mentioning cars, cell phones, or money; these are apparently your own preoccupations that you have projected onto the writings of others. the posts merely addressed the fact that she is ugly–which, in this case, may well be true… regardless, i admire you for being courageous enough to break from the unwashed masses you scorn and admit you are beneath this talentless hermaphroditic she-ape. i can only hope that one day, i too can follow your brave example and bow to the cult of celebrity, materialism, and classism that corporate culture has created, perpetuated, and apparently fed to you with a designer spoon… as for your closing comment, you’re absolutely right–cutting self-absorbed, ego maniacal, pre-packaged celebrities down to actual size is totally unwarranted; making fun of poor people in trailer parks, on the other hand, is just, noble, and good. (after all, they can’t afford breast implants, dental bleaching, or even good beauty products.) so, congratulations!–you just won a red diamond kabbalah bracelet, a marc jacobs evening gown for your chihuahua, a vial of britney spears’ vaginal fluid, and a wedding date with tom cruise and his gay porn star wrestling partner…

    p.s. i stress again that i do not doubt your value as a human being–even if you are blind, shallow, and vapid (hypothetically), just remember that l. ron hubbard still loves you… now go, child of the universe! mary hart awaits!!

  6. 55 comments?!?!

    No comment.

    I am a leader you know.

  7. superficielle

    Yes, unknownassassin, they’re both “poseurs” with a funny haircut. Just posin’ away.

    Maybe you should “glean” a little more and see the many entries before mine which clearly state a discovery of the “striking resemblance” of these “two prepubescent boys.”

    You’re right. All this is subjective. Yet, here is the question:

    If neither were asian, (i.e., both were white people from wichita) would anyone really say they bare a “striking resemblance?”

    Maybe they still would. But, all I’m saying is that probably the starting point…the reason for even making the connection b/w the two is because they are both of the same race.

    However, I’m defintely apologetic about using the word “retarded” as I’m sure it somehow personally offends you.

    Good luck looking for a Jenny in Wal-Mart in Wichita.

  8. HollyJ

    Holy crap – 50 comments on Jennifer’s burnt wedding dress, and now 57 about THIS?! …. hmmmm….

    Well since they’re using CHINESE actresses to play the two lead roles in “Memoirs of a Geisha” (don’t even get me started on that), I’d say that most American’s don’t see the subtleties of difference between completely different Asian people.

    So in the interest of being fair, I pulled up the photo of the lesbian mohawk and put it right beside a pic of Maddox (when he appears to be about 16-18M). I figured, well let’s break it down and see who’s right here…

    Subtracting the facial fat related to being a toddler (which also makes a face look ’rounder’), I’d say that there ARE similarities.

    The hairline is identical from the sideburn area all the way up to the same identical angled widow’s peak (which angles R to L on both). The eyebrow shape is practically identical too (though hers are clearly waxed a bit). The mouth shape is the exact same, except that his mouth is slightly less wide (again, this is probably partially due to the facial structure of being a toddler). Their ears are identical too–both have the attached lobe gene apparently. Not sure about skin tone, as her pic is B&W.

    Admittedly, his nose is less long and is flatter at the base than hers. And their eyes are slightly different. His are far less almond-shaped than hers, and his right eyeball is slightly endotrophic (crossed). (Her LEFT eyeball looks ever-so-slightly crossed.)

    Her face and head are much narrower than his, but children ‘grow into’ their heads, so that difference is to be expected because she’s grown and he isn’t…

    So putting aside all racial stereotyping (as well as over-paranoia about such things), they really DO resemble each other. Seriously. If you pick it apart feature by feature, they do resemble. The angle of the eyes and tip of the nose are the only notable differences, and those are negligable.

    So, for me at least, the people that said they ‘look alike’ win the argument… by a nose =0

  9. unknownassassin

    dear angelina’s lesbian lover’s secret admirer:

    regarding the comments preceding yours: i read them differently. so, let’s agree to diasagree…

    regarding the use of “poseur”: i certainly don’t blame the kid for his faux-hawk. but if angelina’s girlfriend ran across any self-respecting punks back in the day, she would have been laughed at, spat upon, boot-stomped, or any combination of the above… why, is a pissy has-been model sporting a salon-styled faux-hawk considered the real deal in your neck of the woods?

    regarding the rest of your nugget of wisdom in the second post: let’s not talk about “race” here–as a biological entity, it does not exist. (maybe you didn’t catch that at community college?) if you’ve ever looked at “white” populations (i.e. european-descended populations), you will most likely see what appears to be a wider range of phenotypes: for example, “white” people have widely divergent hair color, eye color, and craniofacial structure, while most east asian populations tend to be more similar in those resepcts. (for example, ever see a han chinese who’s a natural blonde? i thought not.) so naturally, two “white” people have a greater chance of looking less similar, whether it’s in wichita or greenwich village. in this case, both subjects are obviously of east asian descent (albeit from totally different places and cultures); both have dark, apparently black hair; both have a similar craniofacial structure; both lack breasts; both presumably have penises. there are obvious physical differences as well, but those are the likenesses, like it or not… all preconceptions about the social construct of “race” aside, you don’t need to be a biological anthropologist, a racist, or any other -ist to see what might be perceived as the similarities. you can say the sky is pistachio green if you like, but it don’t make it so…

    regarding your “retarded” comment: i wasn’t personally offended; i was simply pointing out how you were self-contradictory way up there on that high horse. but when you sling barbs like that, just remember–don’t throw stones, etc. etc.

    p.s. i was using the example of a wichita wal-mart to highlight your elitist attitude. but while you took my absurd point literally, you’re definitely right–you likely wouldn’t see whatever-her-name-is in middle america; before you’d have the chance, she would probably strike out to make good in the lower east side as a reject from “rent”…

  10. aura

    unknownassassin is hilarious and should be writing for this site, if he/she is not already.

  11. bebe

    “white” also includes people of middle eastern and north african decent.

  12. doobydoobydoo

    superficielle is very sensitive about this.. Im guessing she is asian. I suppose its taken a toll on her, being mistaken for William Hung so many times. (its a joke.. lighten up)
    “If neither were asian, (i.e., both were white people from wichita) would anyone really say they bare a “striking resemblance?”"”
    NO.. all political correctness aside, and logically speaking asians DO look more alike than white people. That’s because white people are “mutts”. You look at a white people and you usually can’t tell what mixture of Irish, English, German.. etc. Where as Asians are more of a “pure breed” with much more similar physical features. The differences between white people are usually more obvious (hair color, eye color, etc) With asians its not so obvious. That’s not to say all asians look alike.. they just look more alike than white people. It’s not racism, its reality. Biology lesson: Two redheaded parents can have a blonde kid because somewhere in their DNA cocktail there might be a blonde gene floating around. Two Chinese parents arent likely to have a redheaded baby with blue eyes. Genetics are crazy like that.
    I remember years ago when I was working a seasonal job at a shoe store during Christmas these two black ladies entered the store. One of them asked for a pair of shoes and the other just stood there next to her. I went to the back to get them and while I was back their the lady that asked for the shoes walked to the other side of the store and left her friend standing there to wait for me. When I came back out I handed the shoes to the friend and she got a “baditude” on me. She asked if I thought all black people looked alike. Of course not.. but when you’re the only black lady standing next to the very shoe on display that I went in the back to get and its the middle of the busiest shopping time of the year AND I’ve seen a thousand people that day AND I’ve only actually been in contact with either of these two women for a total of 60 seconds or so.. YES they do look alike.. practically twin in fact. Nevermind the diffent hair styles, body types, and clothing of different colors and styles.. She could’ve been a black midget wearing an elf costume and I might not have noticed.. Give somebody a friggin break!! OR you could, in honor of the holidays, be a total bitch. She went with the later.

  13. BastardotheGreat

    unknownassassin is exposing the truth and the “foot-in-mouth” chumps in a HELLarious way. doobydoobydoo is also on the money.
    As for the Angelina and Jenny anti-fantasy. Angy could have a helluva hot playboy caliber hottie and she chooses this
    http://www.clublez.com/movies/lesbian_celebrities/s/shimizu_jenny/jenny_shimizu_01.jpg
    ???

    This dike boasts about her chick magnetism than even a straight man would.
    http://www.clublez.com/movies/lesbian_celebrities/s/shimizu_jenny/

    I don’t know what is good looking about her. Those who say she is a good looking chick need to stop making comments when they are completely wasted.

  14. spamnews


    regarding the use of “poseur”: i certainly don’t blame the kid for his faux-hawk. but if angelina’s girlfriend ran across any self-respecting punks back in the day, she would have been laughed at, spat upon, boot-stomped, or any combination of the above… why, is a pissy has-been model sporting a salon-styled faux-hawk considered the real deal in your neck of the woods?

    Dunno what punk scene you were part of. Maybe the Screwdriver set? Jenny’d a been taken home and given good lovin’ in my neck of the woods. Except I live in a city, so there would not have been many trees.

    “I was a punk before you were a punk” – The Tubes

    “Well since they’re using CHINESE actresses to play the two lead roles in “Memoirs of a Geisha” (don’t even get me started on that), I’d say that most American’s don’t see the subtleties of difference between completely different Asian people.

    Yeah, right on. I saw Michelle Yeoh on the daily show and was gonna say something, and then when she was on some morning programme with another Asian woman, spouting exactly the same thing I got bored and didn’t.

    Anyway the movie is getting poor reviews over at metacritic, probably for this very reason.

    http://snipurl.com/kqpd-remmap

  15. spamnews


    regarding the use of “poseur”: i certainly don’t blame the kid for his faux-hawk. but if angelina’s girlfriend ran across any self-respecting punks back in the day, she would have been laughed at, spat upon, boot-stomped, or any combination of the above… why, is a pissy has-been model sporting a salon-styled faux-hawk considered the real deal in your neck of the woods?

    Dunno what punk scene you were part of. Maybe the Screwdriver set? Jenny’d a been taken home and given good lovin’ in my neck of the woods. Except I live in a city, so there would not have been many trees.

    “I was a punk before you were a punk” – The Tubes

    “Well since they’re using CHINESE actresses to play the two lead roles in “Memoirs of a Geisha” (don’t even get me started on that), I’d say that most American’s don’t see the subtleties of difference between completely different Asian people.

    Yeah, right on. I saw Michelle Yeoh on the daily show and was gonna say something, and then when she was on some morning programme with another Asian woman, spouting exactly the same thing I got bored and didn’t.

    Anyway the movie is getting poor reviews over at metacritic, probably for this very reason.

    http://snipurl.com/kqpd-remmap

  16. Salacious

    Angelina & Jenny in a 11 year relationship…that’s so uber-hott. Further backs up my theory that Jennifer Aniston was a prude in bed and Brad & Angelina plus whomever hot dyke lover threesome plus cute adopted multi-ethnic kids…it’s the family of the future baby.

  17. superficielle

    To: unknownassasin & others.

    I have an elitist atttidude, and should stop throwing stones.

    Right.

    And, thank you for enlightening me (a stupid asian community college grad) with your well-bred education on the subject of race, and things of the like.

    I am not saying everyone is not entitled to their own version of pistachio green…

    The mere point I was trying to make (although admittedly it could have been done w/ less of a high-horse air) was that it really isn’t about “race” or about anything else, but frame of reference.

    Because you konw what? In Asia, where people are very used to seeing Asian people everywhere, when they see two white people, they really think that they look alike too. Not because they do–but because they are both white and that’s the dominant characteristic they see in both parties.

    In the U.S., we really shouldn’t do this–as we are very privileged w/ diversity.

  18. noname1556

    At the end of the day, I think Maddox and Jenny look similar, but I agree with Superficielle. Mostly for the last comment. Yeah there are similarities, but people professing that they look exactly the same, though funny to joke about, has no place when someone who probably unfairly gets “typecast” by their race every single day of their lives brings up the point that she is offended by the joke-y attitude everyone seems to bring to the table. I mean really, do you know what it’s like to be judged first and foremost, and worsely, dismissed first and foremost, just because of your race. Sure, everyone is judged by appearance, and white people are amazingly different, one from the other, due to mutt-related arguments…but how about a little sensitivity to someone who is clearly sensitive about the subject. A subject that you probably don’t have, as she put it, an accurate frame of reference towards.

    and now, to start a whole bunch more blogging fights….would you be so bravely insensitive to say the same thing about two black people who happen to look similar?

  19. WashingKim

    No one would be quite as “bravely insensitive” as you so put it to say that most black people look alike because there are far more physical differences between two black people than there are between two asian people. While black people do for the most part have dark hair and eyes there are are broad range of characteristics that differ among them -including but not restricted to- height, build, and skin tone.

  20. powerpuffgrl1969

    You know, this was supposed to be FUNNY? This thread has turned into a “political correctness” diatribe which is not what this site is about in the first place.

    After reading the original Sun article, it sounds like Jenny has basically admitted that she is Angie’s booty-call (flying to Cambodia to cater to Angelina’s carpet-munching needs? Hope she at least gets a hot dinner first.) An insecure one at that, if she feels the need to tell all and sundry that she and Angelina are still “together” and that it’s going to stay that way.

    And she IS ugly. I just had to state that.

  21. unknownassassin

    to superficielle:

    actually, i lived in korea for a while, and i see your point; even many acquaintances there couldn’t tell me from the next “white” person strolling down the street unless i spoke (my laughable attempts at korean were memorable enough, i suppose). yes, it’s all a matter of what we’re used to seeing in that sense, culturally speaking–our own frame of reference shaped by family, environment, and schema in general. i definitely don’t think all asian people look alike… but i do realize many non-asians in the u.s. can’t tell the difference, nor care to make any distinction–and often that can be the result of ignorance, or even outright racism (hence the casting of all chinese female leads in “memoirs of a geisha” as many people have pointed out, the producers assuming that an american audience will neither notice nor care)… it’s pretty much the same with all groups regarding other seemingly homogenous groups to which they haven’t been exposed. and in all seriousness, you’re also right that diversity is (or at least should be) a great thing… so, points received and acknowledged here. (and for the record, the community college comment was just a wisecrack… the nyc comment in your post did seem a little elitist in your post, but you didn’t seem at all stupid.)

    i simply don’t like this chick because she seems to have a foul attitude. jokes aside, i’m all for people being open about who they are, and being comfortable with one’s sexual identity is great, whatever it is; if a lesbian wants to butch it up, by all means, go for it and enjoy life. i just happen to be cynical in this case, however, and suspect that maybe she carefully cultivated and milked this hyper-butch image in an attempt to carve a niche for herself in the ADD-afflicted world of fashion… also, she bragged in interviews i read about being pals with madonna, which doesn’t bode well for anyone from sean penn to dennis rodman to sandra bernhard to warren beatty to filipe the pool boy to the english chap who makes bad films to whatever voodoo priest recently reanimated her corpse and sent it to yoga class six hours a day… but i digress… i guess angelina jolie sees something in this person, much as she saw something in billy bob thornton that was well-hidden from the rest of the world, and her happiness is the bottom line, here, n’est pas? so my pedestrian opinions are moot.

    oops… time for spaghetti-o’s… then back to the cell block…

  22. nikki

    dayum, i hope this is not true or i’d be soooooooooo embarrassed for Brad.

    or maybe Jenny is bitter because Angelina finally broke it off.

    you know Jen is eating this up. no pun intended. bet she regrets burning the wedding dress now.

    i wonder of Maddox’s faux-hawk was Jenny’s idea? ha ha ha.

  23. unknownassassin

    “Dunno what punk scene you were part of. Maybe the Screwdriver set? Jenny’d a been taken home and given good lovin’ in my neck of the woods. Except I live in a city, so there would not have been many trees.

    “I was a punk before you were a punk” – The Tubes”

    indeed, a droll speculation… but no–i was not into hate rock. (and i believe i remember it spelled “sKrewdriver” on the t-shirts of the pasty little skinheaded chaps at school who used to walk around in a pack, boldly menacing any solitary skate punk under 130 lbs., as long as he was outnumbered eight to one.) anyway, whichever set i belonged to, i’m almost certain it wasn’t the set who fantasized about converting a surly, narcissistic has-been lesbian model trapped in the body of a ten year-old boy, feigning bad-assdom… (in spite of the scowling poses, toolbelt accessorizing, tough guy tattoos and potty mouth, i’ll give you even odds she plays with “my little pony” in the absence of company.) she’s not awful-looking, but you could find somebody better at the mini-mart on any given day. in any case, strap-ons and GHB weren’t my bag… but if your set rolled like that, it’s a free country…. so whichever city you’re in, let freedom ring! (and pass the dental dam while you’re at it.) ;-)

    “i was a punk before your foster mom was a midget porn star… and now i shall slam a fifth of jack daniels, snort an 8-ball in its entirety, and perform your colonoscopy with the mic stand.”–g.g. allin

    “mmmfff… gurghh… glllp!”–fee waybill of the tubes (receiving a mouthful of man-love)

    …just playin’, homes. and regarding the movie–the book was middle-brow drivel, so i assume the film version can only get worse… (an all-too predictable hollywood “showgirls”-esque revisionist treatment of traditional japan with oscar aspirations, to paraphrase one review i read…) but chinese, japanese, mongolian or martian, gong li is almost worth the pain and suffering it would likely inflict–not a half-bad looking lady…

  24. minxy

    I, like everyone, think Angelina is the hottest woman on the planet, in addition to being very talented, admirable for her work with the U.N., and just in general very unconventional and interesting and mysterious. But does anyone else see Brad Pitt waking up one day with 10 adopted children and Jenny Shimizu and her ex husband Johnny Lee Miller in bed with them, scratching his pretty head and wondering what the fuck happened? Beyond the off-the-charts hotness level that they share, I just don’t understand those two together. I’m NOT a big Jennifer Aniston fan either and never thought she and Brad made a cute copule. I just think this is a disaster waiting to happen. It’s not like all that craziness Angelina used to so openly exhibit just goes away. It’s great that she dresses up like Audrey Hepburn now and schmoozes with congressmen, but a few years ago she was fucking Billy Bob in a limousine and wearing a vile of blood around her neck. And while I’m sure she’s a freaking goddess in bed, Brad Pitt seems like the kind of guy who really wants a conventional life, while maybe designing a couple buildings on the side. But who knows.

  25. mikeski

    There’s a joke in here somewhere about Shimizu cars that run on diesel.

  26. sammygirl

    Angelina reminds me of some older actresses who were attractive and quirky when they were younger, but who became really strange and somewhat loopy as they aged. Women like Mia Farrow, Brigitte Bardo, Doris Day.

    Angelina definitely has her positive attributes and I personally like her for going against the grain, but I wonder how tolerable society will of her idiosyncracies when time takes away her beauty. She’ll just be the crazy lady with 11 adopted kids and Brad Pitt will have an affair with the oldest child, etc etc. Sound familiar?

  27. ranesing

    Am I the only one here who thinks that Jenny looks like Bobby Trendy?

  28. Mary45

    Thanks ranesing for bringing us back from the deep…

  29. HollyJ

    I love tom kai gai.

    It’s not related to this argument at all, but I love it. Thanks for letting me share.

  30. c

    Angelina admitted as much (the last part) on The View with Ethan Hawke when promoting w/e movie that was…Bones? Anyway, afterwards, they commented on how refreshing her honesty is.

  31. PhDiva

    Jenny Shimizu is a very beautiful woman. For many years she was a very successful model. Are any of the people trashing her on this page models? I think not. I have modeled before, and I would like to say that if nobody has ever paid you just to be attractive, then you are not attractive enough to call anybody ugly, much less a woman like Jenny Shimizu, who has made a living from her looks. I am not Asian American or a lesbian, but I find many of these comments racist and homophobic as well as inaccurate. Also, the attacks on a small child (of any race) are vicious and inappropriate.

  32. Angelina could get a girlfriend you want (because it is apparently the right girlies crazy in the "no-contact zone" as well) and take this thing ….

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