Angelina Jolie’s uterus on duty 24/7/365

October 6th, 2008 // 57 Comments

Enjoy these pics while you can of a non-pregnant Angelina Jolie at the premiere of The Changeling over the weekend. After recently birthing twins Knox and Vivienne, turns out she’s already bored with them and ready for more. Somebody get this chick a medal. OK! Magazine reports:

And just in case you thought that Angelina and Brad, who has joked that he would like to have a full soccer team of kids, would stop at a half-dozen, she says that there’s no stopping in the near future.
“We are going to have more kids,” revealed the Oscar winner. “One way or another.”

When she’s not busy thinking of ways to adopt you or get the maximum mileage out of her uterus, Angelina shares her secret to shedding the baby weight:

“Run around with all the kids, and breastfeeding, which I think is part of your body’s natural way of losing weight.”

So, I tried Angelina’s advice to shed a few pounds, but since I don’t have lactating breasts or children of my own , I had to go down to a local elementary school and chase some around. The end result? My face ended up on some website run by Megan (?) and the neighbor kids call me “El Chupacabra” while throwing rocks at my car. But, damn, does my ass look tight. Seriously, you can bounce a quarter off it, but not really because I’ve already lost $5 down the sewer grate.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Maloney

    good one, ass

  2. Sarah Palin

    Overrated bitch!!!

  3. Ray

    Othe than the lips and truckloads of money, what the fuck is so great about this goddamned slut that makes out with her brother?

  4. karen

    third !!! she looks good to me

  5. karen

    third !!! she looks good to me

  6. karen

    third !!! she looks good to me

  7. If I was one of her kids, I would NEVER stop breastfeeding!

    “Hey ma, bring them titties over hear, and let me milk you onto my cereal before Homecoming”

  8. Sarah Palin

    Let us pray that our brave troops stay safe while doing Gods work. Amen!

    (applause)

    After I’m elected I will, in addition to my VP duties, head the new National Faith Based Electorate Institute to ensure that future candidates are truly Christian men and women seeking to advance Christianity in the form of new initiatives such as Crusades and Inquisitions. After all, only REAL Christians should be armed across the planet. We willl ensure that the entire planet believes in Christianity, ushering in the end times!

    (long applause)

    Vote McCain (Palin)

    Amen!

    (AMEN!!!)

  9. Karen, you are a stupid fucking cunt. Lay off the meth when you are posting and you won’t look like such a fucktard.

  10. weaver

    I’ve dated strippers that look better than this skank.

  11. Randal

    Angelina, you make Brad.

    Brad, you make Angelina.

    The two of you are like two star clusters gobbling each other up and create this ever so awesome explosion that becomes even greater than the two of you!

    Stars are born this way and the two of you are the biggest stars I’ve ever had the pleasure of writing to.

    May all be well with the both of you and your growing family!

    Randal

  12. Randal

    Angelina, you make Brad.

    Brad, you make Angelina.

    The two of you are like two star clusters gobbling each other up and create this ever so awesome explosion that becomes even greater than the two of you!

    Stars are born this way and the two of you are the biggest stars I’ve ever had the pleasure of writing to.

    May all be well with the both of you and your growing family!

    Randal

  13. Zimmerman

    I’m not surprised at all. Let them screw and pop out lots babies all they want, cuz!
    ‘Cause when I go broke, I’mma let them take my kids.

  14. pete

    Hey all you right-wing nutjobs, get used to these 2. Starting in January they’re going to be the most frequent visitors of the many many many many many Hollywood celebs invited to stay at the White House. Hahahahahahahahaha!!!

  15. Fernando Narcos

    I’m sorry,but she is not hot in any way,shape,or form.She’s a media creation.

    That fucking bubble forehead,those dime-store rubber lips the vein-riddled clawhands all add up to fug.

    Bitch is nasty,and you know without make-up and special effects,she is fucking gross without clothes on.

  16. Marino

    hateeeeeeeers!

    yeah shes over rated but shes still beautifull

  17. quanto

    FINALLY SOME NEWS ABOUT ANGIE INSTEAD OF THAT TWAT ANISTON!!!! Keep it up!

  18. meee

    what the fuck? STOP HAVING KIDS!!!!! you already have fucking 6 kids & there are millions more in this world. YOU DON’T NEED MORE FUCKING KIDS!!!!!

  19. netfen

    @16 – media creation IS SO TRUE. She really does not have anything going for her and now she is trying to fill her emotional void with kids?

  20. yolanda

    Looking Fierce as usual.

  21. ummm...yeah

    STFU Randal!!!!

  22. gotmilk?

    16, jealous?

    it doesn’t really seem that she is one of those ones that piles on the make up.

  23. gotmilk?

    16, jealous?

    it doesn’t really seem to me that she piles on all that much make up.

  24. mamadough

    Randal, i applaud you only because it would be impossible for myself to be so fucking chipper all the time.

    she probably keeps getting knocked up to avoid postpartum time to set in. as if being a celebrity and bullshit human activism hasn’t already spread her time thin, devoting time to 6 children isn’t enough? vapid selfish cunt needs a reality check before she loses it and drowns all of them in the tub.

  25. will

    God she thinks she’s just SOOOOOO seductive and sensous. *vomit* She screwed Billy Bob, so no thanks.

  26. Sandy

    does she have any friends in hollywood? i think it’s odd that you never hear of her having any friends. makes you wonder how likable she is. she seems pretty bitchy to me.

  27. my comment

    I hope her next set of artificial twins come out with Down’s Syndrome.

    That ought to put a sock in it.

  28. jennifer hammond

    So she is saying that breastfeeding is Natures way of losing the weight? Umm yeah, she is so about being natural, that is why she paid for her babies to be made in a dish and artificially inseminated. No way with her being as thin and sickly looking as she was pre twins she would be ovulating once a month , if at all. No way she conceived those twins “naturally” and since she is so about doing everything the way nature intended, why did she have a scheduled c section with Shiloh? No reason she couldnt have delivered her “naturally” right? And im sure that tummy tuck followed after her c sections was as “natural” as everything else this hypocrite does and says.

  29. blondediva

    whoa…pretty vitriolic, folks. This is a woman who actually studies the world and puts in both time and money to make the world a better place. She seems( I don’t know) like a decent mother. She gets some praise for her acting. And certainly she can’t help the fact that she was BORN with those lips. I’d rather hear about her that many other Hollywood “stars” who do not much more than shopping and vacationing.

  30. clone

    blondediva, I’m with you

  31. kitty_kat

    Wasn’t this the same woman who said just a couple of years ago that she could never have her own children because there are too many hungry ones in the world needing parents already?
    I honestly don’t understand how anyone can believe a word that comes out of this woman’s mouth anymore. It seems to me that she is not sincere about anything she ever says.
    #27- I’ve never thought of it before, but that may be true…

  32. Blanket

    She is turning into Michael Jackson.

  33. ronr

    Nothing says class like tattoos everywhere.

  34. timmy the dying boy

    Haven’t we had enough of this self-aggrandizing stick insect yet?

  35. YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET, folks?

  36. Nagada

    She’s like one of those hoarder people, only instead of things or animals, she hoards kids. A collector of children. I think she’s weird, and I don’t get Brad P. at all.

  37. bah

    ima huge hater, but y’all take the fucking cake.

    1) she’s got more money then any of you bitches
    2) she’s fucking brad pitt
    3) she’s god damn gorgeous
    4) she donates more money then all of you haters make combined to all kinds of humanitarian causes
    5) she could kick your bon bon binging, weave sporting, receptionist ass in a bareknuckle brawl

    jealous much bitches?

  38. lovebugaltercation

    What’s with all the haters? Angelina is gorgeous and generous. #32, are you a mom? Cuz people without kids, aren’t in the same head space. It’s obvious that her adopted children and meeting the right guy, changed Angelina’s mind about having her own.

  39. truth

    16
    she is stunning. I am sorry, but anyone who says otherwise is blind with jealousy or love for their big nosed beedy eyed leather skinned man face.

  40. Jay

    I don’t understand the hate – what have you done to make this world better? Have you donated money? Brought attention to the plight of refugees? I didn’t think so.

    Get off of your high horse.
    They have the money and the desire to be parents, what is wrong with that?

  41. lahdi

    lovely, #41, so money and desire is everything it takes to be good parents!

  42. beyond

    she is so hot~~
    I heard she joined a club[ __"seekingtall.com"__ ]which is the biggest club in world for 18+ singles from different countries to meet cute girls or handsome men.They are tall and slender in build,hot and sexy.Join them,and go on have a look…
    Good luck for you,wish you find your girls or guys.

  43. Andrea Rysak

    LOL – ok, why is it that these lame ass followers insist we are jealous? Last I checked I didn’t have to majorly alter my nose to be attractive. I am neither fat nor barren. You bitches are psycho and give women a bad name. What cause we don’t want to have kids that makes us less of a person. Get a grip.
    You are not giving your idol a good name with all this BS. Go rub off to your faded ’05 W mag pics. Just make sure you get to you 2 pm shift at McDonalds.

  44. She is beautiful, no doubt about it. Quite peculiar that she looks more and more like her wax likeness. Also, Brad and her seem to always have the same hair color! Pray that they raise solid children because unfortunately, the media circus will be following them forever more, especially their biological ones. That’s just a fact. Look at Tom and Kate.

  45. anna

    Umm, not that anyone cares, but her boobs are too small for her to be breastfeeding. In actuality she is having the nanny feed the babies formula. Liar.

  46. lani

    I don’t understand why she wants more kid.
    But she is not over graded and she is smoking HOT

  47. Yawwwn! So what am I supposed to say here? Am I supposed to say: Noooo! Angelina don’t! You’re sooo gorgeous, don’t ruin yourself with more babies? No thanks. Angelina Jolie is not exciting anymore. Sure she’s able to raise a billion kids, she’s got nannies. They want a soccer team? Go ahead and be unrealistic, you idiots, you live in Hollywood dreamland. Go skip off to your third world country, and adopt and birth 80 more children.

    It’s great what they do. They help out. It’s great. Really. I hope they continue. They just bore me to fucking death.

  48. baloney

    angelina voight… PLEASE… she’s a very ordinary-looking person with a lot of well-done plastic surgery. just dig up her WAY-before pictures on the internet if you can find them. BOTH her top and bottom lip are fake, she’s had a nose job, tooth caps, and facial implants. go ahead guys and procreate with one of these fake broads… your babies won’t look anything like them.

  49. baloney

    angelina voight… PLEASE… she’s a very ordinary-looking person with a lot of well-done plastic surgery. just dig up her WAY-before pictures on the internet if you can find them. BOTH her top and bottom lip are fake, she’s had a nose job, tooth caps, and facial implants. go ahead guys and procreate with one of these fake broads… your babies won’t look anything like them.

Leave A Comment