Angelina Jolie’s uterus benched

Angelina Jolie has been advised by doctors to put down the uterus. After her last two pregnancies ended with complications, she’d be facing significant health risks with another baby. OK! Magazine reports:

“Her previous pregnancies ended with emergency caesarian secions,” an insider tells OK!. “She’s been told that, at the least, she should not get pregnant for a year after her last deliver, and it would be safer if she did not get pregnant, ever.”
The health complications this time around could pose a direct danger to the Changeling star, Dr. Larrian Gillespie, who has not treated Angie, tells OK!.
“Angelina is at risk of having a stroke or heart attack, and because she developed gestational diabetes, there is a high risk she’ll have it again, with the child being at risk for diabetes.”

In related news, Brad Pitt was seen at a local bank sulking while placing his penis in a safe deposit box. In the distance, the cackle of Jennifer Aniston’s laughter could be heard in the air. Or a pig got hit with a lawnmower. We’re looking into it.

Photos: OK! Magazine, WENN