Angelina Jolie’s mom dies

January 29th, 2007 // 256 Comments
angelina-jolie-mom-died.jpg

Angelina Jolie’s 56-year-old mother died Saturday afternoon at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after battling cancer for seven years. Angelina Jolie, her older brother James Haven, and Brad Pitt were at the hospital with her Saturday at the time of death.

It must’ve been pretty cool for her to have died with Brad Pitt at her bed. As a last request she should’ve asked to tongue kiss him or something. I would’ve said “do it with her” but let’s try and keep her final moments classy.

superficial

  1. schack

    how to make this funny?

  2. Danner

    That’s a bummer.

    She looks a bit scary here.

  3. hendero

    she didn’t ask Brad to do it, but Angelina and James Haven made out, just for old time’s sake.

  4. schack

    umm…

  5. schack

    now that mum is out of the picture, and dad was always a dead-beat anyway, there’s no shame in finally releasing that earth-shattering sex tape…

    i think such a sex tape would end global warfare, stop world hunger, eradicate global warming, and cure cancer. mom would be proud!

  6. julema

    yeah nothing funny about losing your mom!

    Still stupid people saying stupid stuff

    shes a beautiful woman period

  7. BigJim

    At least she’s still got dear old dad to look up to.

  8. whatshisname

    angie and her bro made out, brad got turned on and started to beat off, then accidentally kicked out the cord to mom’s ventilator when he started to cum, in the process arc-skeeting her now lifeless eyes shut. it was beautiful moment they will treasure forever.

  9. nikdiva

    Ryan Seacrest is a tool. Now he knows why she was in a bad mood on the Red Carpet.

  10. Oh Great,

    Since she was starting to lose steam on her “Angelina Jolie, Look at me, Adoption tour!”

    Now we’ll have to see a whole bunch of interviews with her for the next year about how big an influence on her her mother was, what a great person blah blah blah….

    Am I the only one that remembers the 6 month long Grief-In that Gwenyth Paltrow held for publicity after her father died?

    http://www.usatoday.com/life/2003-10-13-paltrow_x.htm

    Oh, and for all of you planning on writing something like “This website is usually about funny stuff and some of the stars deserve what they get on here, but how can you say anything about that wonderful woman in her time of pain etc….. Will it save you typing timeif I just admit right now that I’m a dick?

  11. RichPort

    Wait.. is now the wrong time to mention I’d like to ejaculate on her face?

  12. Looks like the voodoo doll she’s been using against her dad misdirected.

  13. Jen A.

    I heard that at her mom’s deathbed, Angie promised to honor her by naming the next color swatch – I mean, adopted child – “Metastasis”.

  14. People who make fun of the dead suck.

    paris sex tape controversy at crabbie’s

  15. wtf superfish? we all know you aren’t as funny as you used to be.. but seriously, this is just tasteless.

  16. tits_on_snack

    Ah, I’m not going to say anything mean about somebody’s mom dying of cancer. I don’t need that karma. But I will say this: don’t feed venus fly traps cheetos. They don’t like it.

  17. nancy malig

    You guys have it all wrong. It was Brad who was making out with Angie’s brother. Angie was using a strapon on Brad. It was then that her mom lost the will to live. She was actually in remission. (And yes, Angie went ATM on both of them before realizing that mom had stopped saying “for the love of God please stop.” Finally they called for the nurse, who stopped at the door and said “so who needs to be examined?” boom-chicka boom-chicka boom-chicka…)

  18. cbrooke

    Way over the line with the attempted humor on this post. Reduce your lithium dosage

  19. Layla

    I am truly sorry her mom has passed, but most of all I’m sorry her mom had to suffer so.

    I too lost my mom recently after a seven year battle with cancer. It’s horrible.

    However, after watching AJ for some time and having once been a fan until she began to think of herself as the sexy Mother Theresa, I can’t help but think she’s a little relieved that all the sympathy coming her way will push out all that talk of a “backlash.”

  20. cbrooke

    Way over the line with the attempted humor on this post. Reduce your lithium dosage

  21. jrzmommy

    Lesbianesque Angelina Diatribe coming in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1……………..

  22. KimIsSarcastic

    There’s never a wrong time for that, Rich.

  23. Lowlands

    Aww!That’s really sad for Angelina and her kids!Brad must be also very sad i think,maybe he indeed fulfilled her last possible request?With her dentures like a mousetrap connected to his tongue.He’ll have a last sweet memory of this woman.

  24. nosh

    Maybe your mommie will die of brain cancer. And then we’ll go “Ahhhh! That explains everything!”

  25. PrettyBaby

    #10 Darnit Rich- I was GONNA say- Is it a bad time to mention how I would like to squirm allover Brad and make him look like a glazed donut??

  26. mztry

    Will you post your own Mother’s DEATH notice so we can laugh at YOU asshole?

  27. Niecy

    I won’t say anything about her mother dying. That’s sad. Even weird, overrated, attention-whores need their mothers.

  28. Oh Great,
    Since she was starting to lose steam on her “Angelina Jolie, Look at me everybody, Adoption tour!”

    Now we’ll have to see a whole bunch of interviews with her for the next year about how big an influence on her her mother was, what a great person blah blah blah….
    Am I the only one that remembers the 6 month long Grief-In that Gwenyth Paltrow held for publicity after her father died? Yeah, 6 months of her trying to convince us that she didn’t have a mixture of Tar and Ice-Water in her veins.

    It was almost as bad as the Jen/Brad Jen/Vince poor little lost girl, articles.

    Oh, and for all of you planning on writing something like “This website is usually about funny stuff and some of the stars deserve what they get on here, but how can you say anything about that wonderful woman in her time of pain etc….. Will it save you typing time if I just admit right now that I’m a dick?

  29. Dr. Sanje Gupta

    #24 Glazed donut? Wow those are thick secretions, you might want to get that checked out. Might be ovarian cancer. Lotta that going around right now.

  30. JLG

    Really do we really need to be so bloody nasty.
    Jesus, her Mother has just died and all you can do is be totally rude and ridiculous!
    I really like your site, but at times, it is just un-necessary b***sh*t!

  31. jrzmommy

    Somehow Angelina always manages to upstage Jennifer Aniston.

  32. Lowlands

    (25)Like i already said although i think in an indirectly way.My thought are with Angelina and her family.

  33. Lowlands

    (32)I mean”thoughts” ofcourse.

  34. sbd

    Brad is so clueless sometimes! I read that right when he entered the hospital room, he said “Mommy [that's what he called her] you look so sad! What’s eating you?”

  35. nicholelibra

    Pretty fucked up to joke about death. As far as I know, the woman lived a pretty quite life and even if Angelina or James weren’t her kids the least she deserves is respect.

    Superfish, this is wrong on so many levels. I’d expect garbage like this on Perezhilton.

  36. now we know why she was such a bitch at the GGs

    i love u angie <3

  37. jrzmommy

    Seriously, let’s talk about something else, something not as controversial……..like……….Anna Nicole’s parenting skills and her son dying.

  38. jc

    ::In a Nelson (from the Simpsons) laugh::

    Ha Haaaa!!!!

  39. Jon Voight

    I just want to send my condolences to Angelina, Brad, Maddox, Shiloh, and Shakira … ummm … Shahira…is it Shakira or Shahira? Anyway, my thoughts go out to you in this difficult time, I know this will make Angie’s mental problems much worse. But her mom, Marchelene, she was always a classy woman, and very strong. No blowjobs. That was her rule. Angie hates me for it, but I had to leave, any man would under those conditions. I hope she’s gobbling Brad every chance she gets, if she wants to keep him! It sure worked with her brother, look how close those two are. Anyway, Marchelene was a great woman, she deserved better. Yes to anal and no to blowjobs, I could never figure that out. Strange girl. Inverted nipples. That one was a big surprise. But I was young and in love, so I didn’t mind. Farewell, Marchelene! It was too short, but you lived a good life! Two wonderful children are your legacy. Along with incest and neurosis. And no blowjobs.

  40. jrzmommy

    One, two…….AHHHHHHH FREAK OUT!

  41. Layla

    >now we know why she was such a bitch at the GGs

    Really?

    Her mother didn’t get that sick overnight, I promise you,yet AJ moved her family half way across the country just weeks before the poor lady passed away. I wouldn’t have taken a day trip ten miles away during my mothers last days. All of which means she was nowhere near her mother when she was really needed, when her presence would have been most comforting. Who was taking care of her mother, giving her her meds, helping her to the bathroom, making sure she was comfortable? Hired nurses? She could have put off the move for a few months, but nooooooo, AJ must have what AJ wants when she wants it, to hell with even her own mother.

  42. who cares. shes hot, you dont need excuses when you’re that goodlooking.

  43. anothershityear

    shame on you fucks for writing the sick shit you did here

    and shame on me for laughing out loud at a couple of them

    and thanks #10 for the link of paltrow – i vaguely remember that grief-tour now
    since i automatically skip EVERY SINGLE article or mention of her, i almost forgot how ugly she is

  44. lalalemon

    #41 Angelina came to LA recently. Maybe she came when her mom called and told her she was sick. You don’t know exactly what happened ie when she worsened, how severe it became how quickly etc. Her brother was probably there too.

    #10 I’m sure when people that love you die you don’t feel a thing. Oh wait, no one loves you. Nevermind.

    This is a fest of tastelessness.

  45. 86

    People chill out really.

  46. kinda sad, especially for the kids

    http://www.carpemundus.com – RIP

  47. Angie's mom's last stool sample

    #44 – actually i’m pretty tasty (it was a very spicy last-ditch chemo).

  48. biatcho

    This site is way too ready to turn emo on a moment’s notice. It’s like the death of a complete stranger, who happens to be related to an incredibly annoying self-congratulatory bitch, has pierced your hearts like a stingray’s tail. Crikey!

  49. PrettyBaby

    #29 Thank you Good Doctor, I am perfectly healthy in every way, as you know….

  50. SilverBaked

    this is funny? i hope no one ever does this to you when your parents die. sad.

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