Angelina Jolie’s child army just got bigger

If the Earth started to feel a little more crowded this weekend, that’s because Angelina Jolie birthed her twins, a boy Knox Leon and a girl Vivienne Marcheline, late Saturday night. Compared to their siblings, these two got off easy in the name department. Angelina’s obstetrician Dr. Michael Sussmann updated the press on everyone’s condition – then handed out lollipops; he’s that good. The AP reports:

“He was very happy. … The emotion was very strong for him,” Sussmann told reporters on the hospital steps. “I felt the emotion of both the mother and the father. Angelina Jolie was speaking, was laughing with her husband. They were happy.”
“The mother, the babies, the father are doing marvelously well,” he said.

While this is great news for Angelina and Brad, this is terrible news for me. I lost the office pool. Here’s the names I picked. I dunno how I didn’t win:

Captain America.
Jon Voight Just Kidding I Still Hate you Daddy.
Maddox. (He won’t mind.)

Licorice Petunia.
~. (Pronounced “Squiggly line thingy.”)

Congrats to the Pitt-Jolie clan! Please don’t assimilate me.