If the Earth started to feel a little more crowded this weekend, that’s because Angelina Jolie birthed her twins, a boy Knox Leon and a girl Vivienne Marcheline, late Saturday night. Compared to their siblings, these two got off easy in the name department. Angelina’s obstetrician Dr. Michael Sussmann updated the press on everyone’s condition – then handed out lollipops; he’s that good. The AP reports:
“He was very happy. … The emotion was very strong for him,” Sussmann told reporters on the hospital steps. “I felt the emotion of both the mother and the father. Angelina Jolie was speaking, was laughing with her husband. They were happy.”
“The mother, the babies, the father are doing marvelously well,” he said.
While this is great news for Angelina and Brad, this is terrible news for me. I lost the office pool. Here’s the names I picked. I dunno how I didn’t win:
BOYS:
Captain America.
Jon Voight Just Kidding I Still Hate you Daddy.
Maddox. (He won’t mind.)
GIRLS:
Licorice Petunia.
~. (Pronounced “Squiggly line thingy.”)
Melissa.
Congrats to the Pitt-Jolie clan! Please don’t assimilate me.
Que | July 14, 2008 at 8:32 am
Que dang!
nancy | July 14, 2008 at 8:36 am
wow. those names…
Ted from LA | July 14, 2008 at 8:40 am
The word for the day is “emotion.”
Ted from LA | July 14, 2008 at 8:41 am
I’m sure there was a lot of emotion, but they should have called DHS as soon as they heard the names they chose.
Chupacabra | July 14, 2008 at 8:54 am
Vivienne is just fine, but wtf with “knox” why does she have this desire to name kids with “x’s” in their names? Pax? Maddox? XXXXX!
veggi | July 14, 2008 at 8:57 am
Some people say bleeding anal fissures are painful. I say they’re spicy.
FRIST!!! | July 14, 2008 at 8:59 am
I preferred their original names, Whitey Two and Whitey Three.
Pauley Shore | July 14, 2008 at 9:01 am
Heeeeeeeeey, Tomb Raider boobies, congrats on the dual blobbage!
jenipurrr | July 14, 2008 at 9:08 am
wait a minute, the doc said…. “Angelina Jolie was speaking, was laughing with her husband.” Um…… since when are they married? Did I miss this???
Bobby Davro | July 14, 2008 at 9:10 am
sounds like Brad was being a real SISSMANN hahahaha
miggs | July 14, 2008 at 9:12 am
Hey Brad…how hot is she after all that tearing?
Tech | July 14, 2008 at 9:23 am
Well you did get one thing right, Superficial writer. The boy’s name ended with OX. Maddox and Knox.
Cool Names. I’m still concern how Amdanda Knox is doing in Peruggia. Any updates from anyone?
Tech | July 14, 2008 at 9:27 am
Well you did get one thing right, Superficial writer. The boy’s name ended with OX. Maddox and Knox.
Cool Names. Speaking of the latter name, I’m still concern how Amdanda Knox is doing in Peruggia. Any updates from anyone?
I had the assigment of coming up with cool names–couldn’t. Unless you guys think Avatar, Tech or Knight were any good. Had to do it for my summer camp allias, where I would be teaching video game design. Oops, probably said too much.
Doc Flaps | July 14, 2008 at 9:42 am
The doctor didn’t get to see her poontang. Shame.
Such a fleshy face but such boney, venous arms. How does she do it?
Jen | July 14, 2008 at 9:45 am
Her husband?
Vivienne is pretty, Knox is stupid. I bet Brad picked that one.
jag | July 14, 2008 at 9:56 am
The sappy media lovefest stories about these guys makes me want to puke. It’s like reading the same thing over and over. My favorite take on Angelina’s pregnancy/birth is a really funny, untraditional one…
http://grrlplanet.com/2008/07/14/angelina-birthagain/
milkrobot | July 14, 2008 at 10:06 am
I am sure she will remain pregnant again and again, since both of them cannot act decently…at least they can get money directly out of her uterus.
@12 Perugia with one “g”. Amanda Knox is still in prison and is charged of homicide and she will be persecuted together with her Italian boyfriend and a african immigrant.
gerard Vandenberg | July 14, 2008 at 10:08 am
Bread pit, the asshole, wasn’t dissapointed it weren’t two FAGGOTS?
(btw: SUCK ON THOSE TITS, you loser!!)
girl unimpressed | July 14, 2008 at 10:35 am
barney rubble’s really botoxing it hard these days
Albi, The racist Dragon | July 14, 2008 at 11:09 am
Congrats to the entire familia. May they live long and healthy lives!
erin | July 14, 2008 at 11:25 am
The doc messed up big time…since when does Angelina have a husband????
erin | July 14, 2008 at 11:26 am
The doc messed up big time…since when does Angelina have a husband????
erin | July 14, 2008 at 11:26 am
The doc messed up big time…since when does Angelina have a husband????
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | July 14, 2008 at 11:40 am
Paying for therapy for each of those kids is gonna end up getting expensive.
Kendra | July 14, 2008 at 11:43 am
In that quote, it says Angelina was talking to her HUSBAND. Her and Brad aren’t married are they?!
magickal | July 14, 2008 at 11:53 am
I am soooo not happy for them. Wow. they added two new stupid babies to their already stupid family. What a neurotic cunt Angelina must be. “I must have three white, three ‘culturally diverse’…three boys, three girls”…aarrrggggghhh! What the fuck is with these celebs (like these two asshats and J Lo & Marc Anthony) getting pregnant with the perfect twin mix of a boy and girl? That can’t be an accident. There has to be some serious genetic messing with, methinks. Fuck them all! I hope angelina’s uterus falls out.
GRRLPLANET | July 14, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Celebs are crazy…and angelina was way hotter when she banged chicks. My site has evidence.
... | July 14, 2008 at 12:16 pm
The best news. Congratulations to Brangelina! All wellbeing and celestial blessings for them!
burgernoodle | July 14, 2008 at 12:32 pm
BAH! laughing and talking while getting a cesarian? in your fucking dreams!
BOOYAH! | July 14, 2008 at 1:12 pm
by the way GRRLPLANET, she may have been *more* hot when banging chicks, but she’s always been wretched. she was just a little less wretched.
Matthew | July 14, 2008 at 1:25 pm
congrads miss big lips and mr.overrated star with the birth of the twins do something I don’t something Kooky like GET MARRIED! the french doctor said the married oh doc moi mi they not MARRIED!
Giggles | July 14, 2008 at 2:09 pm
She’s a pretty woman, but the tattoos make her look like white trash. Oh yes, and she’s a homewrecker.
eastcoastgirl | July 14, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Wow, so she had two more blobs surgically removed from her body. I do believe Mr. Pitt will live to regret his dalliance with Ms. Jolie.
latty | July 14, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Vivienne Marcheline…. that’s a very pretty, classy French name… it means ‘life’…
…so why did they stick the poor boy with Knox?
All I can think of is ‘Fox in Socks’….
Little Knox
In socks
On a box
Eating lox
Hearing clocks
In the stocks…
the possibilities are endless….
Randal | July 14, 2008 at 4:24 pm
CONGRATULATIONS ANGELINA AND BRAD!
Love you both endlessly!
xoxo
Randal
Americola | July 14, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Congratulations to the whole family. Can’t wait to see the pictures that were apparently sold for $11 million (which will be going to charity, of course) :)
Unknown | July 14, 2008 at 5:27 pm
You all are so stupid to fall for the devils plan. Aneglina Jolie thinks that she is not going to go to hell after she dies because she stole someone else’s husband, she is wrong. Adulterous she is. So, as far as I am concern all her children are considered “unclean” according to the bible. She has to be accountable for her actions when she dies and meet God. So, yes Angelina should enjoy her heaven here on earth because when she dies she will be going to hell. She is more than likely so damn stupid and not realizing this. “What a shame it is to gain the whole world and lose your soul.”
toiletduck | July 14, 2008 at 5:28 pm
I am going t write a children’ book – “Brangelina and The Big Milque Titties”..
Adru | July 14, 2008 at 5:31 pm
They’re married? Since when?
Poppi | July 14, 2008 at 5:44 pm
You know, most of us really don’t give two shits about these over-rated self-important sacks of shit. The constant updates on their “family” are just fucking boring. What would be real news here is if old man Pitt cheated on wife #2- nom nom nom
Lisa | July 14, 2008 at 6:27 pm
40–Hear, Hear!
Randal | July 14, 2008 at 8:49 pm
I make Goatse look like a virgin.
fuck them | July 14, 2008 at 11:59 pm
#26. You are awesome, methinks, no, no meknows! I agree 100%. And #40. We can only hope and then that the person he cheats with takes him for everything he’s got.
These two are the most egotistical, pretentious, self involved A-Holes on the planet, they are beyond overrated. If they actually gave a shit about all the things they pretend to give a shit about they would never act like this or live the way they do. There are real life versions of what this couple is trying to be and these shitfaces don’t even come close to the real deal, they are as close to being humanitarians as Paris Hilton is to being a virgin. Two WORDS: Pretentious Hypocrites.
I feel bad for their kids though. It’s not their fault their parents are trying to make a child version of Noah’s Ark.
How can this possibly end well? Oh wait I know, by this blowing up in their faces without a single child being harmed in the process. Again one can only hope.
Liana | July 15, 2008 at 12:04 am
From all the publicity and carry on surrounding the birth of these two babies, you’d think it was the “second coming”, only a girl somehow got mixed up in the works, unless God has taken on the feminist cause and brought His daughter to us mere mortals as well . The only reason I doubt this is that Ms Jolie is about as far from the popular image of the Virgin Mary as it’s possible to be…
carrie | July 15, 2008 at 12:19 am
They are making an adorable couple though the guy ever joined the rich men seeking affairs club Mixed mingle . c o m a few weeks ago..but all are past and they will stay together forever!
my comment | July 15, 2008 at 6:06 am
Vivienne? Sounds like an old lady name. Knox is dumb too.
Next year, she’ll be prego again, have another elective c-section in a foreign country {hey brang, try Iran!) and voila, babies # 7 & 8.
xs6 | July 15, 2008 at 6:51 am
informative site on the hottest celebrity angelina jolies baby and much much more.
Knox Leon
Dave | July 17, 2008 at 6:15 pm
well few more they are gonna have a football team
Congrats!!
Keep Going..
Dave Nick
Knox Leon
Dave | July 17, 2008 at 6:16 pm
well few more they are gonna have a football team
Congrats!!
Keep Going..
Dave Nick
Knox Leon
SurshaniAslam | July 18, 2008 at 1:00 am
Sri Lanka