Angelina Jolie’s brother James Haven attended the premiere of Beowulf last night in Los Angeles. Honest to God, they should’ve gotten this guy to play the Joker because he has the freakiest goddamn face I have ever seen. Can you imagine what it’s like for Brad Pitt when this dude comes over for dinner?
[Scene: The Pitt-Jolie dining room table. Angelina is tending to the children, while Brad and James sit and eat.]
James: Brad, I bet your soul tastes delicious.
Brad: Huh? What did you just say?
James: Oh, nothing. Just the peas are delicious. Like your soul.
Brad: Did you just, no, did you just say my soul is delicious?
James: Angie, dear, this dinner is simply wonderful. Almost as good as that time we made love in a canoe.
Brad: Gets up. You motherfu–
James: Jumps to his feet. Oh, Lord, yes! Pretend I’m Edward Norton in Fight Club and I just bought a tea cozy from Ikea! Oooh, I’m a naughty, naughty consumer of goods. Punish me before I get a Discover card!
Brad: Shakes his head. Why do I agree to these dinners? The sex isn’t that good.
James: Maybe it’d be if you were related! Zing! God, aren’t I to die for? No, but, seriously, Brad let’s be friends. Now, take off your pants and give me a hug.
Jewel | November 6, 2007 at 4:55 pm
FIRST
mooomooo | November 6, 2007 at 4:56 pm
first comment!!
Jewel | November 6, 2007 at 4:56 pm
Wow! That’s like my second first in a week.
I’m pretty spectacular.
SECOND | November 6, 2007 at 4:56 pm
Better than third
justifiable | November 6, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Fucking funny, Fish, but if you don’t know the difference between “pees” and “peas” I’m never gonna eat dinner at YOUR house!
Skip Smith | November 6, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Awesome commentary by the Fish.
D. Richards (Hands) | November 6, 2007 at 5:01 pm
Jesus. That is horrible looking. Angelina, and brother should be carted off to hell immediately. They’re the same fucking person.
veggi | November 6, 2007 at 5:05 pm
Angie’s mom is spinning in her grave. And saying “James, sweetie, remember not to get any semen in Angie’s eyes.”
Jessica | November 6, 2007 at 5:05 pm
Dude, spit or swallow, but quit making that face.
PiTT | November 6, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Isn’t that Jennifer Aniston stalking the lovely couple in pic#14 ?
RENEE Z... | November 6, 2007 at 5:11 pm
That picture is probably enough to make any man no longer be attracted to Angelina Jolie…its basically Angelina with a cap on and no makeup…oh yeah, and homosexual. They’re not twins? For real? Well at least now we can see that Angelina obviously doesn’t get lip injections…unless her brother does too. Its creepy, it really is. I wonder if they share Brad?
FRIST!!! | November 6, 2007 at 5:12 pm
That whole fuckin family is scary lookin. A bunch of freaks!!! And you that’s the truth because,
This message was brought to you by Sinus Buster. The capsaicin pepper nasal spray.
Fricking funny | November 6, 2007 at 5:13 pm
Your commentary was hilarious. Thanks for making me laugh today!
shanipie | November 6, 2007 at 5:13 pm
LOL He scares the Shit out of me
Alex | November 6, 2007 at 5:15 pm
#10
I think it is! Good observation! She looks quite devastated, too.
Jimbo | November 6, 2007 at 5:16 pm
I’m thinking James was the fluffer in Angie’s early “scenes” with Jon.
Soy | November 6, 2007 at 5:16 pm
#14shanipie
if You’re male, yep literaly
Mark | November 6, 2007 at 5:18 pm
Dude, you are a genius!! That was hilrious!!!
Viggio | November 6, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Angie: Dad, can I have $20?
Jon: Sure, but you’ll have to give me a blow job first.
Angie: Ok…I guess…(begins)…HEY! Your dick tastes like shit!
Jon: Well, your brother wanted to borrow $50.
Jimbo | November 6, 2007 at 5:25 pm
Why is this post even here? What is the point?
@16 fuck you troll
AuntiPam | November 6, 2007 at 5:26 pm
Thank the Lord Angie stared plucking them eyebrows
& had the nose job
Return of the Superdevil | November 6, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Anyone find it eerie they look so much like eachother
Guy | November 6, 2007 at 5:28 pm
He looks like a cock mongeler
FRIST!!! | November 6, 2007 at 5:29 pm
#20 Jimbo, there is no point. It’s just kinda funny. Kinda like Sinus Buster. The capsaicin pepper nasal spray.
JENNIFER ANISTON | November 6, 2007 at 5:29 pm
‘hahahaHaHaHaHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
. . .FAGGYDaddyBraddy”
ellybell | November 6, 2007 at 5:34 pm
i want jimbo and frist to get married. (which of course would end with the ceremonial light spraying of the capsaicin pepper nasal spray over each other). you up for it?
i’m surprised superfish hasn’t said he can spurt the capsaicin pepper nasal spray out of his penis without wincing. it’s nothing compared to the lasers.
Guy | November 6, 2007 at 5:36 pm
I don’t know, maybe if he squinted all the time he wouldn’t look so bad.
El-Coyote | November 6, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Home run on this one fish…. First time you have cracked me up in a while…
lamb | November 6, 2007 at 5:40 pm
Brad such a shame
.. whats with the makeup (i.e.pic14)
& you’re so girly since You hooked up with this angelina trannsvestite,
… more &more like kidmans Ex whatshisface
FRIST!!! | November 6, 2007 at 5:43 pm
#26 cute
Clem | November 6, 2007 at 5:47 pm
“I’m thooper! Thankth tho much for asthking!”
ellybell | November 6, 2007 at 5:50 pm
#30 cute? you sure? having pepper spray misted all around your eyes? cos..OUCH
or cute that superfish might be able to spray it out of his super penis? that’s how you get the girls you know.
theShizaan | November 6, 2007 at 5:51 pm
Cocaine is one hell of a drug!
brian t | November 6, 2007 at 5:54 pm
I … want … your SOUL
I … will eat… your SOUL!
Come To Daddy…
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6345095361969974807&q=come+to+daddy
pissy skank | November 6, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Creepy– girl behind them looks just like Jen Aniston.
FRIST!!! | November 6, 2007 at 6:02 pm
#32 Eh, I’ve had worse…
starscanfrighten | November 6, 2007 at 6:03 pm
Not another one of these overrated narcissistic douchebags. When will they just go away?
Duh | November 6, 2007 at 6:07 pm
This is what incest looks like.
guess who | November 6, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Angelina is quite attractive. She is not pretty, but BEAUTIFUL! I mean it.
And you all know very well that you lie when you say she is ugly.
May the good Lord bless you and your family, Angelina.
Jimbo | November 6, 2007 at 6:14 pm
What is an ellybell?
scooby | November 6, 2007 at 6:20 pm
this is the best this whore has looked in ages because she’s covering all of her boney ass body.
TomCruise | November 6, 2007 at 6:22 pm
What a good looking man.
Joe | November 6, 2007 at 6:23 pm
I like that the cocaine is plainly visible around his nostrils.
stevenholt1@mac.com | November 6, 2007 at 6:25 pm
HILARIOUS FISH!! Now these are classic comments.
Donkey Ass | November 6, 2007 at 6:26 pm
I wear his blood in a vial around my penis ring
Lisadavis88@bellsouth.net | November 6, 2007 at 6:28 pm
I think they look just alike. The eyes, lips, smile…..siblings I guess they should look alike huh.
lardo | November 6, 2007 at 6:33 pm
This was some of the worst writing i’ve ever seen. It’s like the dialogue a 6th grader comes up with when he’s just messing around. Jesus christ, the fact that you people think the writing on this site is good anymore is insane. This site blows.
harper | November 6, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Angelina’s camel coat is classic with the CL chestnut shoes. She looks lovely, when usually to me she looks a low IQ goldfish staring out of the fish bowl.
mixedmartialartvideos.com | November 6, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Lets call him MANGELINA!
jacknasty | November 6, 2007 at 6:48 pm
well Shilo should thank the lord she is female. Seriously, compare Angie and her mom to her dad and brother….the women have a monopoly on attractive in that family