Angelina Jolie is ready to retire from acting. In an interview with BBC News, she announces her intention to become a full-time mother while working on the occasional project every few years. Also, she’d like just one goddamn minute to eat a sandwich, Brad:
“I don’t plan to keep acting very long. I’m ready to do a few things now and fade away and get ready to be a grandma one day…. I’m not so worried that I want to keep this pace up and try to be something and be a celebrity and be a successful actress forever.
I don’t think I’ll ever say I’m never, ever gonna work because maybe there’s that interesting project where I feel creative.
“I’ll work for a few months in February. I won’t work again probably for another year. So maybe it’ll be once a year, then maybe once a year, then maybe it’ll be once every three years.”
Oh, I get it. Jennifer Aniston calls you “uncool,” so now you want to retreat to your French villa and brood over the children for the rest of your days. And I thought you were tougher than that. Wow, grow a pair of tits, lady.
NOTE: That was actually a legitimate suggestion. I think you should have four. We’ve got a black president; why stop the progress train now? Choo choo!