Angelina Jolie’s uterus still chock full o’ baby

May 30th, 2008 // 25 Comments

While our constant vigil of Kim Kardashian’s buttpad raged on, rumors started spreading that Angelina Jolie birthed her litter today. People has the official word from Angelina’s rep that these rumors are false:

“Angelina has not given birth. She is fine, enjoying her home and her family in France,” a rep for the actress tells PEOPLE.

So, in summary, Angelina Jolie did not give birth which means Brad Pitt is, presently, not having sex with her to “kick that baby train into warp speed.” His words, not mine. Okay, you caught me; It was Clooney. Right after I beat him in the Sexiest Man Alive contest.

Photos: Splash News

  1. sam

    Her front looks like Kim’s back. If her front has bumps all over it

  2. ph7

    Good, she must be super high maintenance.

    Brad, I know she’s hot, but she got you travelling around like a big pussy carrying her bags and playing with kids (and let’s face it – with all the pussy that you could be plowing through, do you really want to be pushing a big wheel in a park?)

    Take notes from Clooney.

    You a playa – what are you doing with this psycho?

  3. jack

    @3- grow up.

  4. Vince

    It’s undeniable that she’s the hottest woman in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (just wanted Kim’s bots to feel comfy in this thread too)

  5. iHateDemocrats

    Damn, at this rate her womb is going to fall out. Brad, I hate to tell you this, but in the near future, having sex with her is going to be like tossing a hot-dog down a tunnel.

  6. veggi

    After birthing twins it’s gonna be a long time before they can have sex again. But I’ll volunteer to lick her torn-up pussy while sticking a finger up his wrinkly butthole. That might actually be pretty close to their usual routine anyway.

  7. Mr.Chips

    Oh Lordy,

    Enough with the kids. Humans weren’t meant to have litters. Take a fucking breather, you two. I blame people like you for my shitty morning commute.

    Oh, and I give his thread until about the 25th post to degenerate into a Jolie vs. Aniston mudwrestling contest.

  8. #7 you are a sick trollfuck..

  9. mike

    Frist, don’t call veggi “that snot”

  10. You call it her uterus, I call it Ellis Island…

  11. Ted from LA

    Mental Note: Do not have sex with a woman with a “Billy Bob” tattoo on her arm.

  12. hansome

    hey i just love the style, and i really want to be your friend.

    i’m from nigeria a young man of 22 years old,

  13. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    @11 that is the fucking coolest comment I have ever seen on this site

  14. dew

    No way is she going to deliver twins naturally after having a c-section just a few years ago. So watch for increased dr/nurse/hospital activity if you want to know when she delivers.

  15. edamame

    What’s with the Gilligan shoes B.P.?

  16. I hate Republicans (only for destroying the economy and stuff)

    #6 wow that was original. Hey why don’t you grab a bag of carrots and some vaseline and go fuck yourself, scumbag.

  17. Mr Chips rocks my socks!

    Mr. Chips: Couldn’t have said it better myself, you’re my hero <3

  18. Jo Ellen

    iHateDemocrats – May 30, 2008 2:37 PM

    “Damn, at this rate her womb is going to fall out. Brad, I hate to tell you this, but in the near future, having sex with her is going to be like tossing a hot-dog down a tunnel.”

    Her brother, during their incestual childhood, teens and early twenties already ensured that having sex with her would be like having sex with a heifer. But then again, BP likely uses a strapon to pleasure any woman. He’s such a fairy, maybe even a eunoch.

  19. D'Oh!

    @6 She’s having a C section. Her vajajay isn’t getting stretched out.

  20. freebie

    Some of the comments here are so immature. Why don’t some of you people grow up and get a life? Your comments are just plain disgusting and you aren’t getting the shock value you’re hopeing for – just disdain. I bet you don’t talk like that in company and only do it here because you’re anonymous. You are just cowardly wimps in real life too. Grow up you stupid lowlifes.

  21. she's soooo hot

    Hottest pregnant woman in the world (she is anyway, pregnant or not). She looks fine as hell pregnant.
    You wish every pregnant woman looked like this.

  22. You wish every pregnant woman looked like t

  23. What will they doing?

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