Angelina Jolie unveils Knox & Vivienne (Spoiler: They look like babies.)

August 4th, 2008 // 82 Comments

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s new babies Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline can be seen in the latest issue of People which hits newsstands today. The magazine paid $90 bajillion for the photo rights which is a lot of money for Angelina Jolie holding basically every single newborn infant you’ve seen before – times two. I was kind of hoping these babies would be different and do something awesome like ride Harley’s or fight crime, but they just sit there. Whee.

Photo: People
superficial

  1. isitin

    Cute Kid.

  2. nATHAN

    OMG THOSE ARE SOME UGLY BABIES!!!!

  3. Jay

    BFD. Happy for everybody but who cares?

  4. jay

    fuck you I’m first!

  5. PokeyMcSlapp

    I really want to know who the hell the people are who actually buy these magazines. Why the hell would you pay $$$$$ to get some shitty, fluffed up piece when you’ve got the same great info (cynicism included) for FREE on the Internet? The stupidity of the public never fails to amaze me.

  6. Kate

    I’m ashamed that I went to People to see the pics. As soon as I saw that smug “Look at me, St. Angelina the Earth Mother, please forget that I used to be a heroin shooting, everyone fucking, knife wedling, blood wearing freak just a few short years ago. I’m a saint!!” look on her face.

    Barf.

  7. Kate

    I’m ashamed that I went to People to see the pics. As soon as I saw that smug “Look at me, St. Angelina the Earth Mother, please forget that I used to be a heroin shooting, everyone fucking, knife wedling, blood wearing freak just a few short years ago. I’m a saint!!”

    Barf.

  8. mary234

    Congrtulatios to Angelina and Brad! But just saw Brad’s personals ID on milllionaires personals site “”"”"W e a l t h y R o m a n c e. co m”"”"”" yesterday. It seems he can’t wait to date new girl when his wife prepares to get birth to twins.

    ?????????????????

  9. Kate

    I meant to say: As soon as I saw that smug “Look at me, St. Angelina the Earth Mother, please forget that I used to be a heroin shooting, everyone fucking, knife wedling, blood wearing freak just a few short years ago. I’m a saint!!” look on her face I felt dirty for having cared.

  10. Guy

    Nice job copying Celebslam. You almost had the exact wording. From WAY earlier this morning:

    “. . . if you want to see pictures of what pretty much every newborn looks like — times two.”

    http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/angelina-jolie-twins-pics/

  11. veggi

    Those babies look almost perfect. All they need is a nice big dose of heparin.

  12. Sweetness Test

    The picture of her daughter holding the new baby is SO CUTE, I CAN”T STAND IT!!!!

  13. That would be sort of funny if it wasn’t even their babies that they were holding…

  14. Harry Ballzack

    Hmmm …. they look just like anyone elses babys. Nothing special. Their mom is still more man than dad

  15. I thought they were gonna include pictures at the time of conception… the empty bottles of wine… the scenes of gorgeous row upon row of romantically lit candles… the first fours attempts that ended in her face and ass being spackled… her prepping herself with a 12″ rubber black cock… what a fucking rip off.

  16. it's me Fuckers!

    awwwwwwww!!! They are so cute!!! Too bad they wouldn’t give some of the money to me for charity… hey, I just need 1 million to set me up for life!

  17. CJ

    And the magazine will recoop the money within hours of hitting the shelves….thanks to all the suckers who live to see how they live!!! Bwhahahahaaa….of course they are charging for every single shot anyone else uses….they are People Magazine, for God’s sake….

  18. Ted from LA

    I want to see pictures of her other twins.

  19. whatever

    @ 9 – AWESOME.

  20. whatever

    @ 9 – AWESOME.

  21. havoc

    Obviously they care more about the baby on her left arm. They’re completely ignoring the other baby with the I-just-took-a-shit smile on its face.

    .

  22. lmao @ 21.

    i still heart Brangie.

  23. That’s fantastic. Can you show me some boobie shots now?

  24. Effyeray

    Attention! Attention! If you find yourself caring about this, even just a tiny lil bit…. do all of humanity a favor and jam a fucking fork all the way into your eye. Do it. Now.

  25. jennifer hammond

    umm they really arent that extrodinary or that cute. Shiloh is gorgeous but those twins are nothing special. Just another set of test tube twins.lol.

  26. Las Vegas

    Let’s make bets: Are they thinking “we love our babies!” or “we’re gonna look GREAT in this picture!”

  27. 21st century digital boy

    First Reality TV and now the Celebrity Baby Boom. God, could the trends get any more boring? Fuck domestication.

    I cringe in anticipation of just how insufferable this next crop of celebrity spawn is going to be when they all hit their teens.

  28. 21st century digital boy

    First Reality TV and now the Celebrity Baby Boom. God, could the trends get any more boring? Fuck domestication.

    I cringe in anticipation of just how insufferable this next crop of celebrity spawn is going to be when they all hit their teens.

  29. Butt Munch

    ^6 is right!!!

    whats so cool about these two “blobs” as she once said?

  30. Billy_Bragg

    Kids are C average in looks…baldish and shitting yellow crap. Now the fact that the newbies get to pull on Mom’s nips for an hour per day is a plus for them. Just thinking about it makes my panties go tight BOING !!!!!

  31. dogonabone

    get that hootenanny gown off! does any woman even wear that kind of thing? the pic is ridiculously posed.

  32. Sapphire Eyes

    I’m happy for the parents. All babies look squished up until they reach about 8 weeks old and their faces start to take on unique shapes. Until then, they are still just tired from the move.

    I have twins who are almost 5. I really hope these two get some ‘nanny help’ with 6 kids under eight, or their relationship is doomed.

    Shiloh is an absolute doll. Her brother and sister should hope to be so genetically blessed.

  33. twzzlrgirl

    Shiloh is a doll-baby. Whatever else you think about Brad and Angie, that kid is a cutie!!!

  34. Lola

    they are absolutely beautiful…. i really don’t care much about either of them or what they’re doing and their lies… in their Hello article, they said they didn’t conceive the twins thru IVF…. yea fucking right… the odds that it happeend natural are slim to none… i just hate these stupid ass hypocrites lying about shit… and then these dumb ass magazines each paying $14 million for pictures of babies that look like every other fucking baby in the world? there’s a war out in the world…. there are so much other important shit to worry about other than some superficial hypocritical people lying about how they conceived their twins… enough is enough

    i’m happy they have their children and they’re all healthy and happy… but stop the lies and a;; the BS… i find it hard to believe that these 2 would “donate” $28 million to a charity they way they spend money like it’s nothing
    whatever though… but their twins are beautiful…. just like every other newborn baby

  35. The babies are so cute. This family is so good. I love it.

  36. Lisa

    Ugh. These two make me sick to my stomach.

    Like one of my very good friends says;

    “You need a license to fish, a license to hunt, and a license to own a gun–but you don’t need a license to have kids.”

    It makes me cringe to think of what sort of problems they might have once those poor kids are all grown up.
    What a pity.

  37. kate

    Cute couple. They appear to be happy. But I saw his personal ID on wealthy men personals site “”"”"”"”"W e a l t h y L o v e s.co m”"”"”"”"” yesterday. What is he looking for on that site? Looking for sugarbabe?

  38. Matthew

    mr.overrated star and Miss Big lips should GET MARRIED but are you sick and tired of them?

  39. fsguh

    too cute. i like the smile on the babies face.

  40. Rob

    holy christ, they did something that Billions of other people have done before them…who gives a shit?

  41. Woww

    The family look so adorable.!

    They are the best.
    God bless all of them!

  42. anonymous

    What’s offensive is the way they put the “Shiloh’s Little Sister” bubble up there, the same way they do articles about “Shiloh’s World” etc…. conveniently forgetting that Zahara was Angelina’s daughter before Shiloh was ever conceived. I can understand if people are fascinated by the combination of genes of the World’s Sexiest People, but ignoring the black kid in favor of her white sister is really, really wrong. I’m surprised Brad and Angelina allowed pictures that showcase her with that sort of favoritism.

  43. veggi

    Hopefully SIDS will take both of them within a week of returning home.

  44. “What’s offensive is the way they put the “Shiloh’s Little Sister” bubble up there, the same way they do articles about “Shiloh’s World” etc…. conveniently forgetting that Zahara was Angelina’s daughter before Shiloh was ever conceived.”

    It’s “People” magazine, not “Jet”.

  45. skinny fat

    #45 – veggi – i can’t stand brangelina but you are a vile disgusting excuse of a person for even suggesting such a thing.

  46. redsonja1313

    WOW, I sincerely hope these three kids are dumb..like fence post dumb as unless the laws of physics applies to genetics( positive + positive = negative or Rumor Willis) Future generations are screwed and boy so are the adopted siblings. The three biological kids are stunning and the other two end up looking like Jackie Chan and Whoopi Goldberg…. FUN FUN times in that house for their teens years !!

  47. they probably are just random babies from the infirmary. the Chosen Ones are at home under the eagle eye watch of 5 nannies and 17 security guards. sweeet!!

  48. spawn

    with all of the celeb infant spawn (the next generation of actors/models and other professions that give much money for fun, glamorous work) good luck to all you wanna be actors and actresses etc. from nowhere’sville backgrounds- tough act to compete with, the “my mommy and daddy are so and so flock.” guess it’s always been like that to some extent anyway, but the future looks COCKBLOCKED to the tilt.

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