Angelina Jolie to endorse a presidential candidate, world waits with bated breath, I eat a sandwich

August 11th, 2008 // 131 Comments

First, the world waited to see the first photos of Angelina Jolie’s newborn twins. Now, we wait to see who she’ll endorse to be President of the United States. My God, how much power does this woman have? How do we know her breasts aren’t intergalactic weapons of doom that will conquer us all? You don’t see Hannity & Colmes tackling that issue. For the record, I volunteer myself to investigate. Wilshire & Washington reports:

“I have not decided on a candidate,” Jolie says, “I am waiting to see the commitments they will make on issues like international justice, refugees and how to address the needs of children in crisis around the world.”
Unlike many other celebrity endorsements, Jolie’s carries the weight and influence of her extensive humanitarian work around the world, as the goodwill ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees. Her statement was an indication that she would be open to choosing a candidate.

Yeah, all that stuff. But who is Angelina leaning towards? Turns out it’s a toss-up:

In June, when Entertainment Weekly asked her whether she talked politics with Clint Eastwood, a longtime Republican, on the set of the upcoming movie, “The Changeling,” she said, “Actually, we don’t disagree as much as you’d think. I think people assume I’m a Democrat. But I’m registered independent and I’m still undecided. So I’m looking at McCain as well as Obama.”

To put things into perspective: Angelina Jolie’s father Jon Voight wrote an op-ed piece for the Washington Times essentially claiming Barack Obama would turn America into Louis Farrakhan Land and enslave the white race. So, for all you political junkies out there, look for Angelina to endorse whichever candidate has a firm stance on kicking your old man down the stairs when he forgets his pills. (Psst. Probably not McCain.)

Photos: INFdaily.com
superficial

  1. Que

    Que ridiculous!

  2. mikups

    FIRST!

  3. JJ

    She’ll endorse Vladimir Putin

  4. sixpack

    Hopefully it’s not McCain or Obama.
    Oh, wait…that’s all we got? Oy vey.

  5. It’s ok Ang… just let the smack decide… as usual… in which case, she’ll vote for Afghanistan.

  6. Eric

    lmao@Jon Voight and his ’89 LeBaron. Obama’s just a very talented public speaker, on stage at a lucky moment, for him. He’s completely hollow inside. There’s zero chance he’d stick to any beliefs or plans (he flip-flops every week now). He’s not even sure he’s black.

  7. whatever

    She has only adopted those kids from other countries and worked with the U.N to get people to forget all the immoral crap she has done in the past. She has the morals of a crack smoking, murderous, athiest whore. Why is her opinion worth anything? Her kids will turn out to be crap too. Brad has lost all of my respect too.

  8. ramalamadingdong

    #6 – you are right. unfortunately, the blacks in this country do not realize that. they are going to vote for him only because he’s black. do you really think they pay attention to the issues?? no. i guess they think that he’ll save them from their oppression. cry me a river.

  9. Rachel

    I bet McCain’s campaign can’t wait for Angie to endorse Obama, hopefully on camera, so they can add it to their “celebrity” ads mocking him. Obama does a terrible job trying to hide how much his huge ego is stroked by this type of thing. I can’t believe McCain is going to win, but he is. Hillary would have been up at least 15 points by now.

  10. Rant

    This bitch needs to get over herself, and the rest of the world that looks up to her need to live their own life. Time to stop living vicariously through this nut job, and her once respected husband.

  11. emmyem

    Yipes! Look at her HANDS! It’s like the deal she made with the Dark One didn’t completely keep her looking “lovely” forever. Old Scratch must have distracted Miss Jolie for a moment, right when she was signing her contract. She did not read the part that said “Except for your HANDS, they will look more hideous and veiny with EACH CHILD YOU ADOPT”.
    Angie thought she could trick The Beastmaster by signing the contract using an old vlle of BILLY BOBB THORNTON’S blood. But I mean, come on, he’s Satan! He switched the viles back.
    And she’ll back McCain, because…………oh, who CARES who she backs?
    Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

  12. Ted from LA

    How many people does it take to get a woman into a fucking car? Anyone who can’t decide between McCain and Obama is a fucking moron who doesn’t deserve the right to vote. Anyone who chooses McCain over Obama, and is not disgustingly wealthy, is an even bigger fucking moron.

  13. Sam

    Did you see the size of those tits!!!

  14. Ted from LA

    It’s a shame that her BillyBob tattoo seems to be fading.

  15. She’ll endorse Obama. Obviously.

  16. nicole richie

    Anyone who chooses Obama has their head stuck up their ass and likes being reamed

  17. HankTheDwarf

    What’s up with that huge vein?

  18. my comment

    If you can’t tell the difference between McCain and Obama, just stay the hell out of politics.

    go McCain!

  19. Chelle

    Does she know that Barack Obama is one of only two senators who voted AGAINST a ban on partial-birth abortions — with provisions, he prudently adds, to protect the health of the mother. But since partial birth abortions are performed on viable infants who could live outside the womb, it’s hard to see why the babies would need to be aborted to protect the mother’s health. There’s this other recent procedure called a CAESARIAN SECTION that brings a live baby into the world, which is presumably what Angelina wants.

    For those of you who don’t know, a partial-birth abortion is where a healthy, living infant is delivered through the vagina until the back of its head is exposed to the doctor’s view. The doctor then pierces the back of the baby’s skull at the nape of the neck with a scalpel, gives the scalpel a few turns to cut the baby’s brain matter up, then uses suction to remove the brain matter and collapse the skull for an easier delivery.

    Remember, this procedure is done on infants who are developed enough to live outside the womb.

    Yet Barack Obama voted to keep this barbaric procedure LEGAL. His actual Senate vote was “present,” but remember that he could have just as easily voted no, or better still, yes. “Present” is a vote that allows senators to not take a stand on an issue that is a political minefield that might come back to bite them later, but it doesn’t fool anyone. “Present ” and “no” mean the same thing.

    In addition to this, Michelle Obama sent out a campaign fundraising letter in February 2004 calling partial-birth abortion “a legitimate medical procedure that should be protected.”

    Barack and Michelle Obama are parents.

    Angie, I don’t know how you feel about McCain — I’m lukewarm on him, myself — but I do know that a vote for him is a vote against Obama and that’s a stand I’m willing to take. If you love kids the way you appear to, then cast your vote against Obama.

  20. Rant

    Another thing, a celebrity endorsement is not worth shit. A celebrity will endorse a democrat. It is all PR grandstanding. Once they are inside that private both they are voting Republican.

  21. question is: will she adopt John Edwards’ “love child”?

  22. Matthew

    hey miss big-lips you and mr.overrated star should do one thing GET MARRIED!

  23. Tipper2

    Bob Barr. She going to endorse Bob Barr!

  24. woodhorse

    I endorse Mr. T. I see a whole bunch of fools above me that need to be pitied.

  25. Clem

    Regardless of whether she indorses McBush or Obama if people vote based on how other people who play dress-up for a living vote then it’s a sad state of affairs.
    May as well flip a coin and make a decision.

  26. I endorse her boobies for Pres and VP, and I will be secretary of rubbing pudding all over them and then licking clean. Rinse, Repeat!

  27. yay Politics

    So, I was gonna make a snarky ass comment about Obama, maybe one about McCain and then I read what #19 wrote in it’s entirety.

    They’re right (mostly. Not all of them CAN live outside the womb. That’s a five month old fetus and that baby would have SERIOUS mental issues.).

    That said? Partial birth abortions are still abortions and they should REMAIN that way because a woman has a right to choose as long as she wants, basically.

    Is it sick? You bet. Is it my choice to make for her? The government? Nope.

    That’s the way it is.

  28. Her only fucking power is the power to controle mister SOFT-DICK himself,
    brat PIT!!

  29. Stan

    re: you’d have to be an “idiot” to vote for McCain…yeah, who in their right mind wouldn’t choose Obama instead? Much higher taxes, a huge increase in bureaucracy, militant Islamic groups (as well as our European allies) who assume that the U.S. won’t use military force again anytime soon – and act accordingly, an administration that wanders around aimless and ineffectively in between much-praised eloquent speeches by the President (which are about as mutually consistent as his two consecutive Rev. Wright speech), and gets consistently out-maneuvered by the vastly more politically experienced and skilled opposition. Who could possibly pass up that?

  30. Porch Monkey

    Hey, #19 Chelle, what the hell are you talking about? Gobbledegook if you ask me.

    You should be more concerned about Obama and his like invading the “WHITEhouse”. They’ll be parking their cars on the lawn, having big booty contests out by the pool and throwing their used up Newports on the carpet.

    Drinking 40′s, gang tats, well you get the picture.

    Vote McCain, if you want no real change.

    Out!

  31. Shep

    Endorse the least corrupted of the two…….. don’t know which one that is? Me neither. Oh I know, endorse the one who isn’t backed by oil companies……. oh wait they both are, hmmmmmmmmmm it’s a toughy then. Maybe Eeny, meeny, miny, moe?

  32. BombHollywood

    Vote Quimby

  33. Correct #27

    That’s what I love about you guys in the US, you just don’t have a clue about your own country. The Republican presidency led to the following things:
    - The economy is in a horrible condition …
    - The situation around Hurricane Kathrina was handled disastrously …
    - You are stuck in two wars … And everything you were told about the Iraq war and why you had to go in there was pretty much a lie …
    - Oil price up to 4$ (remember when Bush said that would never happen? Thx Youtube)
    - Your government is cutting down your civil rights …
    - Taxes for the richest 0.5% are going down, Bush’s buddies are happy to see that
    - Contracts for rebuilding Iraq were given mainly to companies that had Cheney & friends once on their payroll … And the best part about that: Your government pays for example Halliburton 1 Billion Dollar, they outsource that and have effective costs of around 1 Million Dollar. Tax money well spent, gentlemen!

    That list could go on and on and on …

  34. Gianmarco

    Who gives a damn who this puke and her husband endorse wake up she makes a living pretending she is something she’s not. I personally will vote for MCcain over some ego maniac who believes his own bullshit ,I live in his district and he hasn’t done one damn thing for us in Illinois.His wife is one cocky bitch my older brother teaches at The university she works at,she is one to talk.

  35. FIST

    If McCain is president it will be the end of America. He is a geriatric gas bag and big oil’s bitch. Obama’s not great but he is infinitely better than McCain.

  36. #19 – They should have pioneered that procedure with you.

  37. superstar

    how can anyone think she’s pretty?!

  38. emmyem

    # 27. You are right on. Plus, my comment up there was kinda funny, and I kept politics OUT of it. Sort of. WHO CARES WHO SHE ENDORSES! GHEESH!

  39. Phil

    Obama’s going to lose for the same reason that this site exists: Americans resent having prepackaged “stars” held up for worship. Obama has done only a little more than Dan Quayle did by the time he became vice president. But, he’s (half) black (not the half that stayed home and raised him…but, cmon, what do you expect), very well-spoken, and the absolute darling of the media. Forget any other poll numbers, the only one that counts is the fairness poll – a very large proportion of Americans believe that the media has endorsed Obama and is trying to help him with the election (and a microscopic number feel that McCain gets better press than he deserves). One word: backlash. The leading edge hit this summer, with Obama unable to open up a big lead on McCain despite absolutely everything going his way and against McCain. Wait until people are really paying attention after Labor Day, and Obama smirks his way through some debate answers…and McCain talks about not being slick or gifted but having to EARN everything he’s accomplished in his life. Game over.

  40. #33 – You may be right, but your worship of a monarchy negates your opinion.

  41. zug

    Gee, Liberal actor… wonder who she is going to endorse…..
    You can bet she is an Obama -Licker.

  42. emmyem

    #36 Good one. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Really!

  43. veggi

    Personally I’m waiting to decide until Obama picks his VP, since that’s who will be President if Obama wins (and then gets MLK’d shortly after the Inauguration).

  44. Haha, now it's #29

    re: you’d have to be an “idiot” to vote for McCain…yeah, who in their right mind wouldn’t choose Obama instead? Much higher taxes, a huge increase in bureaucracy, militant Islamic groups (as well as our European allies) who assume that the U.S. won’t use military force again anytime soon – and act accordingly, an administration that wanders around aimless and ineffectively in between much-praised eloquent speeches by the President (which are about as mutually consistent as his two consecutive Rev. Wright speech), and gets consistently out-maneuvered by the vastly more politically experienced and skilled opposition. Who could possibly pass up that?

    Well, about the higher taxes:
    - Have you ever been to Europe? I live here … Our highways are in best shape, everybody has health insurance, we dont’ have hoboes on the street, the education is a lot better: All in all, our living standards are around twice as high as in the USA. You get something for your taxes! If you dont understand that, you are an idiot. What you should care about is how your government uses your taxes. As I posted before they use it at the moment in the wrong way … How much are u spending on the Iraq War per month? 5 Billion? 10 Billion? 20 Billion?

    About the burecraucy:
    - Well, funny things about the Republicans: They hate the government until they have all the power … Bush extended the bureaucracy like no one before, just look at the new Department for Homeland Security.

    About the Islamic groups:
    - Hm, strange thing: Republican in the office and 9/11 happens … That seems to be a plan that works!

    About ineffective government:
    - Haha, I remember how one department totally screwed up when Katrina happened

    And last but not least, Mr Wright:
    He said, America should be damned for what it does. And he’s right. I love it when you come up with your “What would Jesus do?” Well, would he kill innocent people in Iraq? Would he leave kids without education? Would he leave the rich guys with all the money instead of sharing it (taxes)? Would he shout his friend in the face while hunting ducks?

    I love it that you think you are god’s chosen nation. Not only that it is already idiotic to believe in a god, it’s even better to think that he loves you most! You know who does that as well? Islamic groups :D … They attack you because they think their God wants that.

  45. mer

    WHO CARES?

  46. harkin

    Re: Mr Voight’s Op-Ed that you characterize as ‘essentially claiming Barack Obama would turn America into Louis Farrakhan Land and enslave the white race’.

    This is the only part of said piece where I can see him mentioning race:

    “Barack Obama has grown up with the teaching of very angry, militant white and black people.

    Please refrain from resorting to untrue smears to get your political shilling done.

    Thanks!

  47. FCS

    #29 “militant Islamic groups (as well as our European allies) who assume that the U.S. won’t use military force again anytime soon ”

    You know who else would probably be in favour of that? The guys doing the actuall fighting.You know the guys dying because of dumb fucks like yourself who somehow think invading random countries is somehow going to make the US safer. Fuck we could be celebrating victory in Afganistan right now if it wasn’t for Iraq. The military is stretched to the limit and you assholes talk about “using military force any time soon”. Bring back the draft then we’ll see how eager everybody is about using military force in the future. Real easy to make policy using other peoples lives.

  48. #40 that time

    Well, how come you think I worship a king? I am not English …

  49. #40 that time

    Well, how come you think I worship a king? I am not English …

  50. Boobsy McGee

    #2 KILL YOURSELF!!!

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