Angelina Jolie probably definitely pregnant
Us Weekly is claiming to have a source close to Angelina Jolie that says she is definitely pregnant. Word is Angelina is going to auction off confirmation of the news and donate the proceeds to charity:
One SAG attendee tells Us in its latest issue, on newsstands now, “It was so obvious she was pregnant. You could clearly see the bump’s outline.”
OK! Magazine is also reporting the bun’s in the oven. But enough about that. Let’s get down to brass tacks. I bid $1 billion* for the exclusive confirmation interview. For the record, I like to prepare a meal for all my interviewees. Hopefully Angelina likes Easy Mac out of a Tupperware dish. Also, I cook in the nude. That’s the naked nude, ladies.
*To be paid in $1 yearly installments. Dollar may be substituted for gum wrapper at any time. Gum not included.