Angelina Jolie probably definitely pregnant

January 30th, 2008 // 80 Comments

Us Weekly is claiming to have a source close to Angelina Jolie that says she is definitely pregnant. Word is Angelina is going to auction off confirmation of the news and donate the proceeds to charity:

One SAG attendee tells Us in its latest issue, on newsstands now, “It was so obvious she was pregnant. You could clearly see the bump’s outline.”

OK! Magazine is also reporting the bun’s in the oven. But enough about that. Let’s get down to brass tacks. I bid $1 billion* for the exclusive confirmation interview. For the record, I like to prepare a meal for all my interviewees. Hopefully Angelina likes Easy Mac out of a Tupperware dish. Also, I cook in the nude. That’s the naked nude, ladies.

*To be paid in $1 yearly installments. Dollar may be substituted for gum wrapper at any time. Gum not included.

superficial

  1. I Hate Plastic

    Great. Who fucking cares? I hope they both rot together while adopting more village kids.

  2. Bee

    First!!!!!!!!!

  3. Bee

    First!!!!!!!!!

  4. I Hate Plastic

    Why the hell did she wear that horrible dress? It looks like my aunt ethlaw would have hagging as window drapes.

  5. Sexy ESQ

    That explains why her tits look more giganormus than usual

  6. Bee

    Uh 2nd is not bad. Anyways who cares about her pregnancy. I think wants to have all the kids of the world to herself. I bet she’s adopting more kids too. It’s one of her phases, just like the Billy Bob phase, kissing her brother!!

  7. I Hate Plastic

    If I had anything to say to Brad, I would say: “It must suck to be the bitch in the relationship. How does it feel to have the biggest pussy imaginable?”

  8. cruisingforcock

    Actually, I am hiding under the dress.

  9. Is this one going to be the foreman in their 3rd world sweat shop they are adopting?

  10. Hmmm

    I wonder if this one will have Downs like Shiloh. The probability is high, considering Vagina-lina is like 43 or something

  11. Ted from LA

    I wish she’d adopt and breast feed me. Goo, goo, gaa, gaa.

  12. I’m starting to hate these jokers. Brad turned into a tool the moment he met her.

  13. Binky

    Angie, Brad – slow down.
    Kids create greenhouse gas.

  14. Dick Richards

    Mr. Cruise, please, Mr. Cruise, summon your scientologist wacko space buddies and have them come in the night to steal Angelina’s fetus, straight from her womb!

    And while they’re at it, have the spacemen slice Brad Pitt’s face up with a box-cutter. And remove the head of his penis, as well as Jolie’s clitoris.

  15. RENEE...

    yippee, who gives a flying fuck. And whatever she’s doing, she’s making Brad fricken fugly as hell. But then, I was never a big Brad fan…but still, I know he’s capable of looking fairly hot. CAPABLE. But here he just looks like some fruity Thespian guy or something.

  16. P.S I Hate You

    Pay attention to that dress and you will notice a creepy hand design on her side. As though its trying to pinch her.

    UGLY dress. That woman has so much money and why did she waste it on a stupid ethnic looking dress?
    I bet the designer was from Africa or Vietnam.
    She is an annoying dumb LIBERAL. Sweety, its not making your skin any darker so stop it!

  17. Oprah's Gorilla Butthole

    The Fish is on his game today! Damn! Funny comments! First the “non quoted boner” and now the gum wrapper thing. Shit, hysterical.

  18. AJLAJ

    When did Angelina leave Brad for Benicio Del Toro?

  19. Cap'n Pickles

    Doesn’t share already ignore the last kid that shot out of her “underlips?” The little fucker was too Aryan or something? Well. Geuss another one that is gonna need heaps of therapy in about 18 years.

  20. Cap'n Pickles

    P.S. Brad Pitt looks BUSTED AS HELL! Vampira is sucking the youth right out of him.

  21. angelina jolie is such an evil little twat.

  22. pink

    She looks gorgeous and hot. My friend told me that she met that man on millionairefriends.com. lol.

  23. ?

    can people with really bad crotch rot get pregnant?

  24. shanipie

    @ 16

    THANK YOU!

  25. shanipie

    God I feel so bad for this future brangelina baby. Poor thing.

    Why would she want to get knocked up again, doesn’t she already have a bio baby that she hates and realizes isn’t good for photo ops?

    She basically has said on numerous and well documented (so poor shiloh and read about it later) that her biobaby is a priveledged blob that she doesn’t feel anything for because she hasn’t “suffered” like the other ones.

    What a Bitch, who the hell says that?

  26. Anonymous

    Pink, you’re right, that’s exactly where she met him.

  27. meh

    Probably definitely…I like that. As for the future baby…Hopefully it won’t age as bad as his parents seem to be doing the last year. Both of them have aged about 20 years in less than 2. Bad genes. That’s why the adopt.

  28. #22 you don’t have any friends..

  29. Hey FRIST, have you dug out from all the snow?

  30. BAH! FRIST you rock. #22 probably thinks angelina is like, a great actress too. bbbbaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

  31. Manuel Labor

    So your saying she fucks then.

  32. brad look a LOT like robert redford in that pic. and not in a good way, folks, not in a good way.

  33. brad looks a LOT like robert redford in that pic. and not in a good way, folks, not in a good way.

  34. nipolian

    #22 – do you get paid in renminbi or in US nickels each day for posting that crap?

  35. listen up #22. do you want your lights punched out? nobody is going to go to your gay little site. not even angelina jolie. although maybe she should.

  36. AJLAJ

    She went through her little goth phaze, her violent sexaholic phase, her single mom saving the world phase, now it’s her mother earth unicef family phase. It’s so fucking pathetic to see a white girl trying to wear some outfit she thinks looks all ethnic like she’s so grounded and in touvch with important causes. You are walking the red carpet at yet another Hollywood let’s celbrate US and give Us shiny awards because we made a movie. Africa and it’s vast cultures is a continent not a fucking name on your designer clothes or a little phase you can go through you pretencious little bitch.

    You can’t be queen of hollywood living in mansions, flying in your private plane, wearing designer shit and having maids and nannies left and right and ALSO care about third world countries and fighting poverty. It’s a paradox bitch. Hollywood is all that is bad and selfish and greedy and as long as you are part of that so are you. This woman is a fucking hypocrite and her fucking ugly dog faced pussy bitch husband who cannot even think for himself is the biggest fucking tool on the planet.

    Who goes from a marraige they felt stuck in to some sick twisted baby collecting responsibility fucking overload prison with some bitch they just met on a movie set. Where’s the rebounding guy, wheres’ the me time, where’s the building a foundation before starting the baby train? No man, no woman can do this without one day waking up and going “OH MY FUCK WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?”

    When yes that’s WHEN not if. When this shit ends it will end so fucking badly it will make every divorce in the history of the planet look like a fucking walk in the park.

    AJLAJ That’s Angelina Jolie LOVES Angelina Jolie. Her fingers are permanently waterlogged and her mirrors are covered with greasy wet lip stains.

    BPDNS Brad Pitt Doesn’t Know Shit. notice how he doesn’t really ever say anything. He’s her pet like in that shitty movie Saving Silverman.

  37. oh my my my #36. i wholeheartedly agree with all of that. but would you like me to share my xanax with you? i don’t mind at all.

  38. m

    I don’t get how these two keep getting pregnant. I have two kids and they have a sixth for when anything intimate might be going on. I mean they have four and they are all young children.

  39. LadyJane

    She could stick her finger up my ass while I fucked Brad Pitt…..

  40. e

    what the hell is up with brad’s hair. is it even real?

  41. ahaha

    #36

    awesome

    and you’re right, I can’t wait to see this breakup… I’m going to start stocking up on popcorn now

  42. let’s make bets on who he dates next. sienna miller. what the hell are they going to do with their little herd of children? give them back??

  43. gits

    They have sex by candlelight, in their gorgeous master bedroom. With the kids hopping around the bed and chanting monkeyspeak nonsense. Afterwards the kids draw straws to see who has to inflate the donut for Brad to sit on.

  44. AJLAJ

    Thanks for the offer Toni braxton but, I think I’m good. It’s just the hypocrite celebs that get me fucking fuming but once I let out my poorly spelled, badly written little rant I feel loads better. These assholes are like a fucking undigested burrito that is just making me fucking queasy and nautious but, once I shit out all that nasty cheap crap I feel so much better. Yes these two are worth little more than a smelly load of butt porridge floating in my can but, boy for something so worthless and flushable they sure do make me sick to my stomach. I guess that’s probalby because they’re just so fucking dirty and disgusting and also I’m allergic to fake pretencious whores and their whipped little manboy bitches.

  45. “These assholes are like a fucking undigested burrito”

    Brilliant. Just brilliant.

  46. Brangelunatic

    B-b-b-b-b-but she donates 1/3 of her income to charityyyyyyy! And omg she is so hot! That kind of makes up for the fact that she’s a disease-spreading homewrecking vulture doesn’t it??? Please?

  47. Attendee

    Upps… many negative comments here not only about Brangelina, but almost about everybody…. It seems this kind of blogs are kind of halls of hell reunion.

    Anywyay, thanks for the pictures. some are fun, and some others are nice.
    Thanks for the pictures of Brangelina, I like this couple a lot. Thanks as wells for the Tomkat’s.

  48. daizycakes

    Oy. I’m so sick of these two. She is a huge attention whore, and that is the fugliest dress I’ve seen in years.

    I think she met Brad on http://www.lookatmybrownbabies.com

  49. Andrea

    She could have also met Brad on http://www.herpespositive.com

  50. Attendee – how about a negative comment about your horrific grammar? oooof, wretched. sorry, but true.

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