Angelina Jolie’s CGI character is kind of a nympho

November 7th, 2007 // 73 Comments
1107_angelina_jolie_beowulf.jpg

Angelina Jolie’s character in Beowulf apparently shows a little more skin than the actress expected. She didn’t expect to “come out as much” and was a “little shy” after seeing the final product, according to Fox News:

“I didn’t expect it to feel as real and so, especially because of the type of character I play, it was funny at first and then there were certain moments where I felt actually shy and called home and just explained the kind of fun movie I had done that was digital animation was, in fact, a little different than I think they were expecting.

While millions of fanboys are drooling over the chance to see a nude CGI Angelina Jolie, who got totally duped by Robert Zemeckis (nice one!), they are not alone. John Malkovich is stoked as well:

“It’s PG-13, so at least I’m told there are things and adult themes on the Internet that may push the envelope quite a bit further than a PG-13, but we’ll see; I haven’t seen it yet,” he told FOX at Monday’s star-studded premiere. “Of course, I’m excited to see Angelina on-screen … she’s …she’s talented.”

Way to not give off a creepy vibe, John Malkovich. There’s nothing your female costars love more than when you talk in freaking ellipsis while suggesting you want to see their… their… “talents.” No, no, that’s not creepy. Women love it. Oh, hey, you getting naked in this movie? Can’t wait to see it. With my eyes. Then remember it – forever. Yeah, chicks dig that. No, really. When they pepper spray you in the mouth, that’s their way of saying “Thanks.” Ha ha, dames. Such kidders.

superficial

  1. haha

    first!

  2. Alice

    wow thats creepy

  3. LOL:

    That photo looks like a 21st century version of The Birth of Venus by Botticelli

  4. gina

    angelina wishes her bag of bones body was that hot!

  5. weahsfs

    IS SHE NUDE?? IS THAT PAINT??

  6. Mike

    #4 I totally agree, however some sick fucks out there think Angelina is sexy with her fuckin boney ass body, and think Mandy Moore is fat. GO fuckin figure.

  7. @6 What does it matter is they are fat or skinny? You can’t get it up

  8. John Malkovich…heh heh

  9. kix

    Ooo, I smell a potential Oscar for Angelina… because she is just sooo talented.

  10. dude

    So even in 6th century Iceland chicks didn’t have bushes. Whoduthunk.

  11. That’s kind of weird. But neat. Now the question is, are people going to wack off to digital versions of the real thing? I guess airbrushing essentially is that…

    neat…

  12. cactusman

    I WOULD LIKE SO STICK MY CGI PENIS INTO HER CGI VAGINA! lolz lolz zomg wtfbbq!

  13. What can you say, she has many skills, and many talents, two of them, up on the frontal region of here body there. They defy gravity. Ahhh, what lovely talents.

  14. redsonja1313

    NOW SHE IS SHY…… DID SHE NOT SEE GIA ???? Oh for godsake !!!! PHULEEZE!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. Darth Hater

    Umm if you want to see AJ naked, go rent or buy unrated version of “Gia” instead of drooling over some CGI crap.

  16. I hate ALL clebrities

    What a fucking joke AS IF her pasty thin ass looks like that. Watch Gia and you’ll see that even at the top of her game she never looked that good. I love how she is trying to pretend that she’s shy… oh ya little miss blood vile, baby farm running, brother kissing, naked in a shitload of movies, crazy fucking psycho is SHY. Fuck that. That shy comment is just aimed at trying to get us to believe that this is what she looks like under her clothes. She’s had a baby and lost lots of weight; her boobs are not that big and if you watch Gia or look at her even clothed you’ll see that this chick has a VERY broad waist unlike her hourglass fanstasy CGI alter ego. Also where are the jumbo protruding arm veins on this creature and shouldn’t she be bonier and a nice pasty greyish shade. Also the chick has cellulite by now, and the flatest ass and spear fishing arms

    . So don’t be embarrased Skange, the only embarassing thing is that you don’t look like this at all. Now go adopt another child and suck another fifteen years off your corpse husband the intellectual midget; Brad Shitt.

  17. MySay

    You go, No. 16!! Damn that was good~

  18. just curious

    Okay, so I’m stupid! But last I looked at a photo or film clip of Angelina Jolie, she didn’t look like that. She’s a bit on the “skinny/we’re terribly worried about her” side. Does her agent/propaganda machine really think that we’re going to buy that that is her, when we see her plastered over all the mags every day looking like — a fishing rod! I really have to question if they give us any credit for common sense!!

  19. Blubbo Teh Clown

    Oh for jebus’ sake…Jolie is FUCKING VILE. She does NOT have a body like that. She is a disgusting tatooed TWO BY FOUR. She always HAS been. All she had was her over-rated tits, her grossly collagen-inflated lips and her fake-ass “bad girl” smirk.

    She is a disgusting bobble-head with no ass whatsoever. She looked like a retarded Romulan in “Hackers,” a figureless Lara Croft in “Tomb Raider” and now, a completely fake-ass CGI naked bitch in Beowulf.

    I will never understand you slavering fans that think she’s so “hot.” There isn’t an appealing thing about her. Hey Angie, get another tattoo! I think you missed a spot on your disgusting flat ass! Here’s a tire pump, let’s make those freakish lips even bigger!

  20. Amy

    Uhm….did no one see Gia…she was naked in there, making out with another woman!!!!!! Why is she all shy now? B/c she’s a UN ambassador?

  21. nonfragile

    She should be glad for whatever flattery she can get. Good thing they didn’t include all the ugly tats.

  22. mamadough

    after brad see this movie, his penis will still continue to cry inside….maybe jennifer anniston didn’t fuck her brother or have sex-crazed orgies while cutting herself, but it must be better than toting around 4+(?) fucking kids around trying to get some mummified, bony ass….

  23. i hate angelina jolie.she’s a whore.

  24. Well, well, finally a picture of somebody who is “straight” naked to the bone. These are the scenes I love most. You know why? Because a girl has no secrets. Only her wonderful body to be loved to the bone. And that is no punishment!!

  25. Droop

    I wonder if they award Oscars to CGI characters? Imagine if Lindsay could just have them CGI her for all her movies- she could just stay home and snort coke while her CGI showed up for work. And it would be a better actress than the actual Lindsay. Everyone wins! Except her nose.

  26. Realist

    Angelina was hot as shit you fucking morons. Her body was better than this CGI deal. But yeah, it’s much worse now. A coatrack.

  27. raggatt

    What #4, #16 and #19 said.

  28. Kimberly

    First of all, her head looks like it’s glued on her body. Some animation…

    Second, isn’t John Malkovich, like, 100 years old?

  29. Pizza the Hut...

    Yeah right, that image is real believable. Give me a break, Angelina is a fricken twig…you could break that girl in half she’s so skinny. But she’s made to look all voluptuous, hahaha. Her lips probably weigh more than her body.

  30. sillypanda!

    yehp! agree with them anti-angies =]

    pssh, her tits dont even resemble that. lol, that shit looks dumb.

  31. Narcissist

    I wonder whose body they modeled this after. It wasn’t skeleton skank Jolie. Some of her mid 90s pics look decent.

  32. eat my pie

    You are all retarded. This chick is not hot, nor has ever been anything but damaged goods. no matter how many kids she adopts, daddy will never be able to say “Sorry” enough, and she will never be anything but a chick who likes to be punched in the jaw while I’m unloading on her chin.

  33. BaconMessiah

    Being John Malkovich is an amazing movie. Trully hilarious. That is all.

  34. zoe

    PHOTOSHOP for sure..
    Angelina doesnt have a body like that, she´s skinny now, with almost no female ´forms´ anymore..

    so tirred of pictures full of retush/photoshop..

  35. Googolygoo

    Every modern male’s dream– a gal made ENTIRELY of plastic, not just the bolt-on boobs, but every inch molded from an unnatural substance.
    And I agree with # 28– bad proportions. I guess that have WAY too much money in Hollywood, to not only be abel to pay the most expensive actors, but then to overlay the most expensive graphics to come up with an animated piece of shit.
    I’ll just read the book again, thanks. It’s been since about the seventh grade.

  36. Stuey

    HOLD UP….SHY????

    Go watch Gia…errr…tak emy word for it. shes nude full on frontal 80% of the movie.

    shy my ass. I hate lying celebrities.

  37. Soy

    hahah”F*ckingVILE”
    phoney lying whore
    WTF???…she “felt shy”

  38. Deny

    bullshit
    That pic looks like her brothers HEAD

  39. JENNIFER A.

    ???SHY
    LyingF*ck!
    what you adopt a bunch of kids you’re a saint
    no you can’t hide from your past B*tch

  40. Lamb

    shy?? FAKEB*TCH!
    #4, #16 and #19 EXACTLY ! ! !

  41. Drex

    Looks like the lamest film of the year!

  42. my comment

    At last, something creepier than the real thing.

  43. John

    She had that body in the past.

    Unfortunately she’s had to loose the weight because as a woman gets older those curves begin to drop and that looks really bad.

    A woman really only has till she’s 25 and then it’s ALL downhill.

  44. Deborah

    Anybody bother to see the HBO movie “Gia” — she’s not all THAT shy!!

  45. John

    Who cares if it looks like her REAL body – what is real now.

    It’s Hollywood, it’s not real. Do you really think all those stunts in the new Indy will be done by Harrison.

    Heck by the end of it he’ll probably be up for “best voice acting in an animated feature” it will be so unreal.

  46. lastangelman

    I can’t skwonk mah pah-hump to that plastic looking thang!
    Ah but I am still mesmerised by Jolie’s big pillowy lips – lips to be kissed, to curl up into, to wrap oneself around in a chill bastard winter morn, lips that I’ll defend from every anarchist-commie-pinko-jihadhist-cum-drunk-homo-motherfucker that tries to get near her, oh wait, she’s with Brad Pitt, too late, I’ll take my warm milk now and gnash teeth in the next room while flailing my don quixote away in grief.

  47. yukadoozer

    She wishes that were her body alright. She’d do an epic anime if she could.

  48. M

    She looks creepier than a Real Doll.

  49. PunkA

    Bi-polar meth heads are strange that way. Angie is one freaky chick, but I’d stuff her vajayjay. And I love Malkovich. Angie is…talented.

  50. shameshame

    holy shit, her body looks absolutely nothing like the animation, jolie has the ugliest body regardless of her weight, pancake ass, broad waist and shoulders, and shapeless legs, she’s ugly head to toe, i guess they had to animate her into a male fantasy with a beautiful hour glass figure. she’s nasty! eww ewww ewww!

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