Angelina Jolie is still really pretty

April 27th, 2006 // 146 Comments

angelina-most-beautiful.jpgAngelina Jolie has made the cover of People magazine’s “100 Most Beautiful People” issue for the first time, despite being on their list four times now. Additionally, her adopted children and Brad Pitt were also named the World’s Most Beautiful Family.

Don’t read too much into the list though since Kirstie Alley and Ryan Seacrest also made the cut, as well as all 26 models from “Deal or No Deal.” It’s like the editors just turned on the TV for 30 minutes and wrote down whoever came on as they were flipping through. If you’re putting together a list of beautiful people, you automatically lose all credibility if Kirstie Alley makes it on. It’d be like making a list of healthiest foods and putting chocolate covered pizza as number three.

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  1. BigJim

    I haven’t seen Papa around for a long time. I wonder if Edna ate him.

  2. pinky_nip

    @51:

    Probably having the same server issues, since I believe he lives in a tree house.

  3. LookMaNoHands!!

    I used to think she’s hot, until I saw a pic of her WITHOUT make-up.
    I’m traumatized…
    She’s ugly…
    Nothing left to believe in..

  4. mamacita

    @31

    “People who have such a level of tension in their relationships often have the wildest sex together. Don’t you think?”

    That’s so weird@!!!! That’s what my husband always says right after he kicks me in the vagina!!!!!!!!!!

  5. apocalypsist

    What happened to the Angelina who scarfed up muff like it was her last meal? Around the circuit her lips were known as “hair pie platter.” How I miss them.

    Check out Edna working her magic here:
    http://thestormtrack.com/archives/2005/09/the_latest_mode.html

  6. leesbeautifulwife

    Angelina Jolie is absolutely gorgeous in side and out. She is not like almost every other celebrity with their lipservice about how they follow a cause. Angelina actually believes in causes and does everything and anything she can for them.

  7. spatz

    #44: damn baby, thats cold

  8. Captain Awesome

    lol @ 54

  9. apocalypsist

    bitch is played out like edna bambrick. i’m sick of seeing her face everywhere. she can eat it and go away. there’s a line of blood-drinking bisexuals with genetically perfect features waiting to replace her. and they’re not going to find god and start feeding crusty thirdworld orphan for publicity.

  10. 86

    I can’t wait for her three headed baby to be born.

  11. TaiTai

    Yeah OK she might look fine now but just picture what she is going to look like 10 years from now. It could go either way. She could be Britney (“I just had a baby y’all! Y’all are so mean! Pass the Cheetos! Who took my shoes?”) or she could be Teri Hatcher (“Food? What is food? If I put on enough makeup maybe it will hide my skeletal face and my crow’s feet. And maybe people will notice me if I tell everybody about my child molestation/affair with Ryan Seacrest/lightbulb in the eye.”) Only with giant lips like Janice Dickinson. Have I created a nice visual image for all of you to enjoy now? You’re welcome.

  12. Zanna

    @23

    Those ‘big ass fish lips’ is EXACTLY why I want to look down and she her between my legs…while I’m rubbing Jessica Alba’s naked ass. And I do love the cock so you can watch as I enjoy ogling your rock hard erection…..

    ooo, I think I need to be alone. If anyone is looking for me I’ll be in the ladies room in the handi-capped stall…I think I’m going to need that bar to hold onto.

  13. gogoboots

    DUH! She’s HOT!

  14. dirtypiratehooker

    She also made the cut for “Biggest Homewrecker” of the year and was voted in high school “Most Likely Chick to Turn Lesbian”, but I guess that doesn’t get as much press.

  15. sherry-co

    #7 and to all you other slimy slugs…there is NO such thing as a “whack job scientologist” To be a Scientologist you must possess the ability to empower yourself. Something none of you no nothing about..TOM CRUISE IS #1! SCIENTOLOGY RULES!

  16. BigJim

    sherry-cumbucket:

    I “know” that you don’t “no” nothing about anything important, like how scientology has brainwashed you into thinking LRH had a massive wang, and e-meters are cool, and how I’m just a big meany because of all those nasty thetans running through my body.

  17. sherry-co

    You dont need to be RUDE! Maybe Ill start REPORTING you all just like EDNA does!

  18. spatz

    “no nothing about”
    sherry-co, its supposed to be know. i can abuse you for this because it wasnt a typo and it wasnt a figner slip, you obvbiously never went to school, cause they teach you the difference between no and know in the fucking first grade.
    i dont know if youre for real about scientology and tom cruise, or if you just desperatley want attention, but youre pretty pathetic and sad, and if you think everone on here is a slimy slug (you obviously lack the wit to come up with anything else) then why are you here? i dont go to certain places where i know things i like will be bashed so why do you bother. this all leads me to believe it is just a desperate attempt to get attention.

    go die please you cunt rag.

  19. TaiTai

    Be quiet, I need total silence to empower myself. It’s part of the Scientologists Creed that I should just empower myself silently and not visit any websites or engage in any whack job Scientologist discussions while I am empowering myself. No wait, I forgot the part where I am supposed to go on websites and defend Scientology to people who will think I am a total whack job. I must be a slimy slug. SCIENTOLOGY RULES!

  20. pinky_nip

    Sherry-co: why don’t you go “empower yourself” of the Golden Gate Bridge? For once, you’ll be doing something entertaining for the rest of us.

  21. sherry-co

    Well now, you all hurt my feelings. Freedom of Speech goes both ways! You ppl express your opinions, why is it wrong for me to express mine??

  22. Jacq

    #65 – You are a total FUCKTARD. Why don’t you threaten to report us to Tom Cruise? There are such things as whack job Scientwatogists – you are a shining example. I’m sure that when Katie told Tom to go to Rome and leave her and a baby that’s not even a week old, it sounded more like, “Get the fuck out! YOU’RE SCARING THE BABY! QUIT EATING HER SHITTY DIAPERS!”
    CHRIST IS COOL! YEA GOD! CHRISTIANITY IS #1! You are a textbook fucking idiot.

    Hi TaiTai! I’m not ignoring you! I’ve been busy and I’ll holla soon!

  23. spatz

    you could express all you want, and we can abuse you all we want. we abuse you because you are just too stupid for words. aint america grand? now shut shut the fuck up.

  24. BigJim

    #71:

    Because they, like you, are stupid.

  25. BigJim

    sherry-cunt is the new Edna.

  26. sherry-co

    Then I will continue to exercise my right to Freedom of Speech and will express my opinion anytime I like. Im NOT going ANYWHERE!! So get used to me LOSERS! Oh and JACQ is ready for another 12″ he is sooo reamed out!

  27. Dr.Rokter

    I used to live across from the Chruch of Scientology headquarters in Boston. My landlord (among others) couldn’t stand them because they harrased people *constantly* and drove down the property value in the immediate area, which is a big deal in the Back Bay section of Boston.

    Nice apartment. Too bad my Thetan roommate was an asshole who never did the dishes.

  28. sherry-co

    Maybe your Buddy BIG JIM can help you out with that JACQ!! ha ha..ha…ha..

  29. spatz

    why do you write the same thing over and over again? i mean, can you really be this stupid and dim? can you? is it possible! answer me woman! i’d like to beat the shit out of you with land-mans 18″ cock

  30. sherry-co

    Oh so you are another of JACQ’s Butt Buddies SPATZ…Im sorry I didn’t know..otherwise I would have given you your kudos too..forgive me…I hope I can make it up to you one day..until then..heres your KUDOS for being part of the JACQ BUTT BUDDY CLUB!! You all have monthly meetings also? Put your names in a hat and swap BUTT BUDDY Partners to mix it up abit? Sorry Im just curious is all..

  31. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Hey Sherry,
    Here’s some quotes from your pill-popping wackjob of a founder:

    “THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN CONTROL PEOPLE IS TO LIE TO THEM. You can write that down in your book in great big letters. The only way you can control anybody is to lie to them.”

    - L. Ron Hubbard, “Off the Time Track,” lecture of June 1952, excerpted in JOURNAL OF SCIENTOLOGY issue 18-G, reprinted in TECHNICAL VOLUMES OF DIANETICS & SCIENTOLOGY, vol. 1, p. 418

    “Having viewed slum clearance projects in most major cities of the world may I state that you have conceived and created in the Johannesburg townships what is probably the most impressive and adequate resettlement activity in existence.”

    - L. Ron Hubbard in a letter to H.F. Verwoerd (widely considered to be the architect of South Africa

  32. Dr.Rokter

    #81

    You rock.

  33. spatz

    lol what are butt buddies? actually, i usually never post comments, just when something inspires me, and you’ve inspired me.
    i’m convinced youre not for real. i think you just want attention and here everyone (including me) has fallen for it. not anymore.

    i actually feel bad about this because i’m sure youre like 13, so i’m not going to comment to you anymore. i dont want your mom to get mad.

  34. sherry-co

    WHOA!! You have WAYYYYYYYYYY too much time on your hands Feed_Me_Chocolate Did you run out of chocolate? Hurry run out and get more before you really make an ass of yourself. You must be HUGE!! ENORMOUS!! Anyone who eats Chocolate like you has got to have a weight problem..luckily for me…I dont

  35. BigJim

    sherry-cumbucket:

    Admit it, you’re a big fat fatty, aren’t you? Yes you are, you big fat fatty. One of the quotes that got left out is that L Ron said, “I really like giving it to big fat fatties.” So you’ve been drinking gallons of cum so you can be a big fat fatty and commune with your big fat fatty of a spiritual leader.

    Go to hell, you fat fatty.

  36. spatz

    oh and one last thing sherry co

    l. ron hubbard AND jesus hate you.

  37. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Such a witty comeback, Sherry. Are those your big guns? You conveniently avoided the glaring evidence, hm?

    And no, I not fat. I happen to be perfectly healthy. Physically AND mentally, which is way more than can be said for you, precious.

  38. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Maybe YOU should spend a little more time investigating your “religion” (cult) before swallowing Ron’s shizz.

  39. nbk

    There’s a fucking Journal of Scientology? What are you kidding? What’s next? The American Royal Society of TCLTC Press?

    This scares the shit out of me.

  40. innit

    OMG Zanna is going to go lesbo with two women! and she still loves the cock!! OMG that is sooooo haaawwwttt! and now she is going to go masturbate!! omg i can’t take it, this is all sooo haawwt… a woman masturbating and fantasizing about other women…. how novel and original and truly shocking

  41. Spacedog

    Sherry-Co, if the “you eat too much chocolate” defense doesn’t work, you could always go for the “I’m rubber and you’re glue” rebuttal. Good luck with that.
    P.S. Zanna #62, you make my pockets tight. Send pictures as soon as you can.

  42. BigJim

    I think #90 was trying to be sarcastic. I’m not sure though.

  43. innit

    Sarcasm is my middle name BigJim!!

    PS Zanna look at #91!! OMG It’s working!!! People on the InTeRnEt are getting excited about what you said!!! OMG this is all so titillating!! thank you Zanna!! I love it when people come to message boards to be shocking!! I mean hardly anyone does it! So it is always a breath of fresh air when someone comes and starts talking about being bi and masturbating and Angelina Jolie and how they’d go lesbo for her!! Yaaayyy!

  44. BigJim

    I can make my massive pectoral muscles jiggle to music.

    Anyone turned on yet?

  45. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    93 – Why are you mad? Please offer some new, creative, and “shocking” ways to make everyone horny or shut the fuck up.

  46. krisdylee

    Jesus was buried in Kashmir.

  47. innit

    Mmmm Big Jim, that is sexxxay! Stop it or I am going to have to pull out my vibrator (you know, the one that I ALWAYS take with me everywhere, because you never know when I will have the sudden urge to masturbate — yes, I am that horny ALL THE TIME!!)and run to the bathroom, and everyone in the building will hear my moans of ecstasy!!! and when I climax i am going to scream out that i’d go lesbo for angelina jolie

  48. innit

    #95 — how about announcing going lesbo for Condi Rice

    Oh god I think something in my brain just popped

  49. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    98 – That’ll do, innit. That’ll do.

  50. Julie_Smashing_baby

    Take any average good looking girl,give her millions+tons of cosmetic surgeries(nose,lips etc)..Thats Angelina!Whatever..

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