Angelina Jolie is still really pretty

April 27th, 2006 // 146 Comments

angelina-most-beautiful.jpgAngelina Jolie has made the cover of People magazine’s “100 Most Beautiful People” issue for the first time, despite being on their list four times now. Additionally, her adopted children and Brad Pitt were also named the World’s Most Beautiful Family.

Don’t read too much into the list though since Kirstie Alley and Ryan Seacrest also made the cut, as well as all 26 models from “Deal or No Deal.” It’s like the editors just turned on the TV for 30 minutes and wrote down whoever came on as they were flipping through. If you’re putting together a list of beautiful people, you automatically lose all credibility if Kirstie Alley makes it on. It’d be like making a list of healthiest foods and putting chocolate covered pizza as number three.

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  1. Vampyreska

    First!

  2. BigJim

    She may be hot, but that “I love Billy Bob” tattoo would be a total deal breaker for me.

  3. Chrystal03

    Now here is another pretty face, not like that ugly ass Kirsten Fuckface!

  4. BigJim

    Anyone else had problems with SF’s new server? I can view this site from work, but not home. What gives?

  5. pinky_nip

    Hey BigJim, my sister is totally bummed because she can’t view it at work anymore?

    By the way, I could spend a month on her lips, so totally turns me lezbo.

  6. SweeterSweeterBoyfriendStealer!

    angie, in my opinion, will ALWAYS be pretty….unlike most of the other loosers PEOPLE put as “most beautiful”…..wont name names…;)

  7. BigJim

    Not only is Kirstie a big fat fatty (yes, still), she is another fucking whack job scientologist.

  8. TaiTai

    Maybe they meant “beautiful” in the spiritual sense. Edna was on there, right?

  9. Chrystal03

    Nope, I havent had any problems as of yet but thanx BigJim you just jinxed me. :P

  10. BigJim

    #6:

    “loosers”? Do you mean people with really loose vaginas? Like you and Edna?

  11. pinky_nip

    #10: hahaha… I can’t stand SweatySweatyWishICouldLandAMan’s comments… Do the 7th graders have the day off? Is it a holiday?

  12. mamacita

    @4

    “I can view this site from work, but not home. What gives?”

    Maybe it’s because you live in an igloo? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Seriously, though, I had a few problems getting on yesterday. It just did the thing where it would sit there for a reallly long time and then the connection would time out. Pretty lame.

    As far as Angelina goes, Good Lord, she is a specimen. I can’t fathom how someone like her came from Jon Voigt of all people. I think I’ll add her on to my list of people that I’m allowed to have sex with if opportunity ever arises. I’ll pencil her in right under Eddie Vedder.

  13. Mr_White_Secure_American

    THAT STUPID LIBTARD ANGELINA JOLIE, I JERKED OFF IN HER SALAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. Code58

    OMG it’s lara Croft from that Indiana Jones movie!

  15. colormeskanky

    People is boring. All they do is suck up to celebrities so they’ll talk. And their list is boring too. same old same old.

  16. billabong021

    World’s most beautiful family? Wat the hell?!

  17. Zanna

    In spite of my love for the cock…Angelina turns me lesbo too. And so does Jessica Alba. Ooo…fantasies of bionic lesbionic threesomes…

  18. pinky_nip

    This list typically makes me want to puke shards of my own pelvis into a bush.

  19. pinky_nip

    I’m with you Zanna! That’s why God created dildos on the 1st day!

  20. Zanna

    If anyone has a hard time getting in from work it’s probably a firewall/filter deal your company put in. I can’t shop at Victoria’s Secret until I go home. DAMN THE MAN.

  21. Code58

    @17

    That’s hawt!

  22. BigJim

    Is that boyfriend stealer bitch the new MeganHarris?

  23. I can tolerate Jolie’s acting and appreciate her body, but something about her face just bugs the shit out of me. I think it is the fact that her fucking lips take up half of her face. Even with those gint dick cushions, she probably still gives terrible BJs. I’m not saying I’d tell her ‘no’ if she started unbottoning my 501s with those big ass fish lips.

  24. BigJim

    mamacita:

    You’re right, I do live in a igloo, but we still have high speed Internet. What’s your cardboard box got?

  25. here

    A horrifying cubicle awaits me in a few minutes. But I was happy to see the Jolie as queen in the People facebook again. Now she gets to fuck the captain of the football team. That’s OK, she’ll still feel tight once I get in past the used part. Ugly though – fat lips and such. I mean me. I think.

  26. mamacita

    @24

    Now, I’m going to cry. I WISH I had a cardboard box.

    P.S. We’re kidding here, right? Or do you still hate me?

    Oh, and as far as that boyfriend stealer bitch goes, I think I hate her even more than I hate MeganHarris. At least MeganHarris’ stupid remarks are brief and not long, badly punctuated ramblings that make me want to punch my monitor.

  27. @17
    good choices
    I would love to be seduced Catherine Zeta Jones and Jennifer Connelly

  28. mamacita

    @27

    Jennifer Connelly desperately needs an eyebrow wax.

  29. TaiTai

    mama @12, Steven Tyler used to be at the top of my list, until I saw that awful picture of Janice Dickinson at the gay bar. Now I am just having nightmares.

  30. Land-Man

    I would love for a plane to fly into Kirstie Alley, and they could make a movie called United 94 flies into a disgusting fat woman and kills most of her.

    Angelina is hot. Soon you’ll be hearing about the Land-Gelina romance.

  31. BigJim

    mamacita:

    I don’t hate you. I actually think I might love you. People who have such a level of tension in their relationships often have the wildest sex together. Don’t you think?

  32. Yehello

    Jennifer Connellys eyebrows works for me.

    As for Brangelina, I want a home video out on the net as soon as possible. How does Jolie act you think? Like, oh I’m more drrrrty than xstina, say my name Braddy boy! Or do you think she’s more like, OMG OMG that’s Brad banging me, I’m so stunned I just go for the cold fish position.

  33. krisdylee

    I can’t access this site at work, had me on a delusional conspiracy theory about my boss for awhile, then I realised I was on acid, so all is well. What gives SF? I need this site at work, otherwise I actually have to earn my money. FUCK!

    I would so go down on Angelina, while BigJim filmed it.

  34. BigJim

    I missed out on all the Edna bashing last night on the Ashlee is shit post (because I can’t get SF at my igloo), but then after reading them realized that it wasn’t the real Edna.

    Real Edna, like BigJim, doesn’t misspell words (very often). Oh, crap. Does that mean that Edna is my alter ego? I keep having these blanked out episodes where I wake up in front of my computer, with the SF on my browser.

    Time for a prescription for Haldol.

    Anyway, fake Edna has loads of typos and spelling errors, and I haven’t been blacking out lately either.

    Coincidence?

  35. BigJim

    krisdylee:

    I’m setting the camera up on a tripod and getting in on the action. Not because of Angelina, but because I totally want YOU, baby.

  36. BigJim

    Awww, crap. Time to clean off the keyboard again.

  37. krisdylee

    BTW, Mr_White_Crazy-Ass_American, what gives? Here’s a hint, don’t EVER oversuse a new word, otherwise the wrath of Osh shall rain down upon your pimply head. Liptard is OLD…sort of like your crusty, poo-stained underwear.

  38. spatz

    #10 youd be really embarassed to find out that you are talking about a 12 year olds vagina. or hey, maybe not…

    i think her mom let her use her computer for the day.

  39. krisdylee

    Time to clean my mouse again…

  40. Vampyreska

    13—What the hell is a “LIBTARD”???????

  41. Italian Stallion

    Land-Gelina…….SOM !!!!!

    For some reason I am hungry for a Libtard salad………

  42. Captain Awesome

    Not anymore, she’s damaged goods now.

  43. Captain Awesome

    #40 I’m going to safely assume its an insanely witty take on the words “liberal” and “retard”.

    Liberals are the new “communist” in this country, last I heard liberals were rounding up blind & crippled kids to molest.

  44. BigJim

    #38:

    A 12-year-old can have a massive, Edna-sized vagina if they fist themselves often enough. Just ask your sister.

  45. Dr.Rokter

    #30 “Land-gelina” hee, hee.

    #40 I think “libtard” is a clever moniker for “liberals”. “Jerking off” in someone’s “salad” is a euphamism for being violently gang-raped by Aryans in prison.

  46. chanel_bear

    what’s a libtard? this is like the third time i’ve heard it from the guy who apparently like’s to jerk off in celebrities salads.

  47. colormeskanky

    @43
    no, that would be conservative homeland security agents

  48. chanel_bear

    ooohhhh…

  49. Captain Awesome

    lol, oh!

  50. pinky_nip

    I’m actually waiting on the Land-Pitt romance. Sounds like a toxic waste dump.

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