Angelina Jolie is popping out babies

July 1st, 2008 // 53 Comments

Angelina Jolie is one step closer to repopulating the planet. She was admitted to a hospital in the south of France today and will soon be birthing her twins: Future Hotness #1 and Future Hotness #2. You can’t tell me those aren’t better names than Maddox and Shiloh. The AP reports:

Nadine Bauer, a spokeswoman for the Lenval Hospital in Nice, says Jolie is fine and that everything is going well. She said the actress’ admittance to the hospital’s maternity wing had been planned for some time.
Bauer said Jolie will almost certainly remain in the hospital until she gives birth.

“She’ll remain in the hospital until she gives birth.” As opposed to what? Getting an epidural then bouncing? “Hey, thanks, everybody. I’ll take it from here. Anyone got a catcher’s mitt?”

Photo: Bauer-Griffin
superficial

  1. niles

    first

  2. JagedNS

    erk

  3. Huh…. What happened?? Did I miss anything?

  4. Obvious!

    EVERYONE knows that when good looking celebrities get together they have ugly babies or just mildly passable for cute. It is some law of nature.

  5. nancy

    Yikes – that’s one of the most hideous pictures of her I’ve ever seen. Including the part with “somebody heat the smack, I’ve got some good veins popping”.

  6. Those kids will probably just fall out of that stretched out gash.

    Oh, #1 – you are a douche.

  7. If I did her now, would that be considered a three-some? Cause I’d so hit that right now.

  8. veggi

    #7 – no, in your case it’d be considered a 2.5-some.

  9. ph7

    She becoming extremely annoying. Always staring at the camera.

    Brad “No Balls” Pitt got hypnotized by her snapping gyro but will soon be walking through some African desert with 15 kids in tow, thinking “I could be on the beach in Malibu with some LOW maintenance hottie” and will exit, stage right.

  10. Frank Lucas' Bitch

    This is awesome. I wish her a safe, painless and quick delivery.

  11. Tom

    I’m getting sick of this chick. Yes, she’s hot, but she can’t act at all and her “wierd” schtick is getting boring. And I’m tired of her left wing multicultural politics. If she likes Africa so much, I wish she would just move there.

  12. neil

    I don’t like Angie waaa waa, She has too many kids waaa waaa, She’s has veins waaaa waaa, Something about politics waaa waaaa.
    What a bunch of wankers.

  13. p0nk

    she’s moved from popping up tents to popping out babies. shame.

  14. sportsdvl

    Actually, I wanted to be the first to post and say that I’m done with all of the female hating I’ve posted on this site. It’s time to come out as the gay man that I am.

    -Sportsdvl

  15. sixpack

    @ #9 Spot on commentary.

  16. fuck you all

    12 is funny

  17. wank this

    16 is 12

  18. fuck you all

    17 is a wanker

  19. Wow… this thread has disintergrated into pointless bickering in less than 20 comments… not bad people…. not bad at all.

    So… are her stitches out yet? Is she available?

  20. lulu

    CONGRATS ANGELINA! Let me know when Brad Jr. is 18…

  21. wank this

    18 confirmed 17…now THAT’S a wanker

  22. wanker

    I’m a wanker

  23. DonnaInMichigan

    Have any of you noticed the pattern of the Jolie-Pitts…

    It seems to happen in 3′s….

    1. Birth or adoption of a new child
    2. Movie coming to theaters
    3. A large donation (this go around 1 million dollars, to iraqi refugees).

    All right around the same time frame.

    I wonder how much money the Jolie-Pitts will receive for pimping the twins pictures out to the highest bidding rag/mag??

    6 kids in 3yrs time of these two playing house together. Crazy. I am sure we will be reading about the Jolie-Pitts for years to come, and I am not talking about Brad or Angelina, but when these kids grow up, they also will be tabloid fodder……….in and out of rehabs, troubled youngsters. Angelina and Brad do not believe in discipline, and they believe the children have a say in everything. Right. Good Luck with that one.

  24. DonnaInMichigan

    Have any of you noticed the pattern of the Jolie-Pitts…

    It seems to happen in 3′s….

    1. Birth or adoption of a new child
    2. Movie coming to theaters
    3. A large donation (this go around 1 million dollars, to iraqi refugees).

    All right around the same time frame.

    I wonder how much money the Jolie-Pitts will receive for pimping the twins pictures out to the highest bidding rag/mag??

    6 kids in 3yrs time of these two playing house together. Crazy. I am sure we will be reading about the Jolie-Pitts for years to come, and I am not talking about Brad or Angelina, but when these kids grow up, they also will be tabloid fodder……….in and out of rehabs, troubled youngsters. Angelina and Brad do not believe in discipline, and they believe the children have a say in everything. Right. Good Luck with that one.

  25. DonnaInMichigan

    Have any of you noticed the pattern of the Jolie-Pitts…

    It seems to happen in 3′s….

    1. Birth or adoption of a new child
    2. Movie coming to theaters
    3. A large donation (this go around 1 million dollars, to iraqi refugees).

    All right around the same time frame.

    I wonder how much money the Jolie-Pitts will receive for pimping the twins pictures out to the highest bidding rag/mag??

    6 kids in 3yrs time of these two playing house together. Crazy. I am sure we will be reading about the Jolie-Pitts for years to come, and I am not talking about Brad or Angelina, but when these kids grow up, they also will be tabloid fodder……….in and out of rehabs, troubled youngsters. Angelina and Brad do not believe in discipline, and they believe the children have a say in everything. Right. Good Luck with that one.

  26. I predict there will be a bidding war for the placenta….I’m not even joking!

    Bishop

    “Attracting Beautiful Women Just Got Easier!”
    http://www.new-alpha.com/seduction.htm

  27. DonnaInMichigan, do you have Parkinson’s disease?

  28. maudina

    where is Randal?

  29. leeza

    Hopefully they are baby spiders and once born they eat her.

  30. Mynheer Peeperkorn

    DonnainMichigan is talking about everything in the Jolie-Pitts’ life happening in threes so she posted in threes. It’s like gossip site concept art.

    Ten bucks says this sickly junkie dies giving birth.

  31. heisacheater

    @20, you don’t have to wait for Brad Jr… Brad Sr. doesn’t stay faithful to one woman for very long.

  32. athisfuneral

    @29 – He croaked.

  33. IgottabeMeee

    Can you imagine the custody b.s. when these two break up? Every third child gets every fourth Wednesday with daddy, alternating holidays based on skin color…. Cuz you know neither of them have any integrity when it comes to relationship comittments.

  34. I like how the whole celebrity adoption thing played out in Africa:

    “I have also seen the unintended consequences of celebrity adoptions in Africa. Men are going to villages, taking advantage of those events, telling mothers that their daughters are going to be adopted by “celebrities” and “wealthy American families” — and that they can now cease to worry. The men give families $100 dollars and take their daughters away. These unknowing children are raped first and sent into sexual slavery. A few children adopted, thousands put at risk.”

    How nice of Angelina to follow her heart and not use her head.

    Hey Angie! You’re knockin’ ‘em dead out here! Keep up the good work!

  35. tight lipped smiler

    I can’t wait to see the new tattoo she’s getting to celebrate: “I am so not fat Earth Mother who stares hypnotically at my dumb-as-a-rock hunka flunka to keep him poking me full of babies whose pics I sell to the bibles of the fickle celeb obsessed masses” written in the old style Farsi of the desert land of the oppressed. It will start at her toes, wrap around her stretch marked belly and end at her goat teat bag nipples.

  36. Zahara

    I so excited dat muh ma fuckin mommy iz havin’ mo’ kids an dat boil on mah ass.

  37. Brad NIxon

    I hate her I wish very bad thinks in the future for her and The family

  38. Brad NIxon

    I hate her I wish very bad thinks in the future for her and The family

  39. Brad NIxon

    I hate her I wish very bad thinks in the future for her and The family

  40. BaCrock Osama

    Does she still have the Billy-Bob tattoo?

  41. eastcoastgirl

    I would never wish bad things on anyone. Especially innocent children. That being said, II do not like Angelina Jolie. I don’t believe she has ethics or morals. I hate that eternal smirk she always has on her face. Also, she always looks like she needs a bath. Greasy bitch!

  42. At least they are rarely in the limelight for the wrong reasons, so for that I’ll cut them some slack.

  43. my comment

    She’s out of her mind. Sorry for the kids.

  44. jennifer_hammond

    She won’t be giving birth, the doctor delivering will be. You seriously think she is going to have a natural delivery? With twins I really dont blame her for going the c section route but its not like she would go thru labor and pushing with just one baby either. Way too posh for that.

  45. Jennifer Aniston

    Brad & Angie will share utter bliss together with all these children. Nothing but breeders they are, nothing but breeders.

  46. Sunday

    Amazing…I seemed to see she had a personal account on the wealthy dating club RICHLOVING.COM for hot guys and girls to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating. Her blog was updated very often. Lots of guys joined in her friend circle there.

  47. King Wang

    You know, 15 years ago she really DID rate as personal “stroke material”, but now she is just another blowed out “MILF” that I would much rather kick out of a moving car so I can pick up a Hooker on Harry Hines in Dallas.

    Plus, you know the Hooker has less “Gyno Mileage”, and DEFINITELY less “Brad Parkinsons Dick Disease”.

    I watch Fight Club and wonder why such a man could become such a Slash Fanatic to someone with more mileage than The Governator’s Hummer…….

    I swear to God, she is like a Hefty Trash Bag that you filled up with beer bottles and fucking $20′s, and just walk around for a week because you are too fucking lazy to take it to the curb………….

  48. YEP, you can imagine how BIG her PUSSY is today, NOT?

  49. I cant wait to see this babies.

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