Angelina Jolie is popping out babies

July 1st, 2008 // 53 Comments

Angelina Jolie is one step closer to repopulating the planet. She was admitted to a hospital in the south of France today and will soon be birthing her twins: Future Hotness #1 and Future Hotness #2. You can’t tell me those aren’t better names than Maddox and Shiloh. The AP reports:

Nadine Bauer, a spokeswoman for the Lenval Hospital in Nice, says Jolie is fine and that everything is going well. She said the actress’ admittance to the hospital’s maternity wing had been planned for some time.
Bauer said Jolie will almost certainly remain in the hospital until she gives birth.

“She’ll remain in the hospital until she gives birth.” As opposed to what? Getting an epidural then bouncing? “Hey, thanks, everybody. I’ll take it from here. Anyone got a catcher’s mitt?”

Photo: Bauer-Griffin
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Comments (53)

  1. niles | July 1, 2008 at 1:05 pm

    first

    Reply
  2. JagedNS | July 1, 2008 at 1:05 pm

    erk

    Reply
  3. John Graziano | July 1, 2008 at 1:05 pm

    Huh…. What happened?? Did I miss anything?

    Reply
  4. Obvious! | July 1, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    EVERYONE knows that when good looking celebrities get together they have ugly babies or just mildly passable for cute. It is some law of nature.

    Reply
  5. nancy | July 1, 2008 at 1:10 pm

    Yikes – that’s one of the most hideous pictures of her I’ve ever seen. Including the part with “somebody heat the smack, I’ve got some good veins popping”.

    Reply
  6. sportsdvl | July 1, 2008 at 1:13 pm

    Those kids will probably just fall out of that stretched out gash.

    Oh, #1 – you are a douche.

    Reply
  7. sportsdvl | July 1, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    If I did her now, would that be considered a three-some? Cause I’d so hit that right now.

    Reply
  8. veggi | July 1, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    #7 – no, in your case it’d be considered a 2.5-some.

    Reply
  9. ph7 | July 1, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    She becoming extremely annoying. Always staring at the camera.

    Brad “No Balls” Pitt got hypnotized by her snapping gyro but will soon be walking through some African desert with 15 kids in tow, thinking “I could be on the beach in Malibu with some LOW maintenance hottie” and will exit, stage right.

    Reply
  10. Frank Lucas' Bitch | July 1, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    This is awesome. I wish her a safe, painless and quick delivery.

    Reply
  11. Tom | July 1, 2008 at 1:36 pm

    I’m getting sick of this chick. Yes, she’s hot, but she can’t act at all and her “wierd” schtick is getting boring. And I’m tired of her left wing multicultural politics. If she likes Africa so much, I wish she would just move there.

    Reply
  12. neil | July 1, 2008 at 1:50 pm

    I don’t like Angie waaa waa, She has too many kids waaa waaa, She’s has veins waaaa waaa, Something about politics waaa waaaa.
    What a bunch of wankers.

    Reply
  13. p0nk | July 1, 2008 at 1:50 pm

    she’s moved from popping up tents to popping out babies. shame.

    Reply
  14. sportsdvl | July 1, 2008 at 1:51 pm

    Actually, I wanted to be the first to post and say that I’m done with all of the female hating I’ve posted on this site. It’s time to come out as the gay man that I am.

    -Sportsdvl

    Reply
  15. sixpack | July 1, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    @ #9 Spot on commentary.

    Reply
  16. fuck you all | July 1, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    12 is funny

    Reply
  17. wank this | July 1, 2008 at 2:06 pm

    16 is 12

    Reply
  18. fuck you all | July 1, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    17 is a wanker

    Reply
  19. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | July 1, 2008 at 2:15 pm

    Wow… this thread has disintergrated into pointless bickering in less than 20 comments… not bad people…. not bad at all.

    So… are her stitches out yet? Is she available?

    Reply
  20. lulu | July 1, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    CONGRATS ANGELINA! Let me know when Brad Jr. is 18…

    Reply
  21. wank this | July 1, 2008 at 2:19 pm

    18 confirmed 17…now THAT’S a wanker

    Reply
  22. wanker | July 1, 2008 at 2:20 pm

    I’m a wanker

    Reply
  23. wank | July 1, 2008 at 2:30 pm

    er

    Reply
  24. DonnaInMichigan | July 1, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    Have any of you noticed the pattern of the Jolie-Pitts…

    It seems to happen in 3′s….

    1. Birth or adoption of a new child
    2. Movie coming to theaters
    3. A large donation (this go around 1 million dollars, to iraqi refugees).

    All right around the same time frame.

    I wonder how much money the Jolie-Pitts will receive for pimping the twins pictures out to the highest bidding rag/mag??

    6 kids in 3yrs time of these two playing house together. Crazy. I am sure we will be reading about the Jolie-Pitts for years to come, and I am not talking about Brad or Angelina, but when these kids grow up, they also will be tabloid fodder……….in and out of rehabs, troubled youngsters. Angelina and Brad do not believe in discipline, and they believe the children have a say in everything. Right. Good Luck with that one.

    Reply
  25. DonnaInMichigan | July 1, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    Have any of you noticed the pattern of the Jolie-Pitts…

    It seems to happen in 3′s….

    1. Birth or adoption of a new child
    2. Movie coming to theaters
    3. A large donation (this go around 1 million dollars, to iraqi refugees).

    All right around the same time frame.

    I wonder how much money the Jolie-Pitts will receive for pimping the twins pictures out to the highest bidding rag/mag??

    6 kids in 3yrs time of these two playing house together. Crazy. I am sure we will be reading about the Jolie-Pitts for years to come, and I am not talking about Brad or Angelina, but when these kids grow up, they also will be tabloid fodder……….in and out of rehabs, troubled youngsters. Angelina and Brad do not believe in discipline, and they believe the children have a say in everything. Right. Good Luck with that one.

    Reply
  26. DonnaInMichigan | July 1, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    Have any of you noticed the pattern of the Jolie-Pitts…

    It seems to happen in 3′s….

    1. Birth or adoption of a new child
    2. Movie coming to theaters
    3. A large donation (this go around 1 million dollars, to iraqi refugees).

    All right around the same time frame.

    I wonder how much money the Jolie-Pitts will receive for pimping the twins pictures out to the highest bidding rag/mag??

    6 kids in 3yrs time of these two playing house together. Crazy. I am sure we will be reading about the Jolie-Pitts for years to come, and I am not talking about Brad or Angelina, but when these kids grow up, they also will be tabloid fodder……….in and out of rehabs, troubled youngsters. Angelina and Brad do not believe in discipline, and they believe the children have a say in everything. Right. Good Luck with that one.

    Reply
  27. Michael "Bishop" Emery | July 1, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    I predict there will be a bidding war for the placenta….I’m not even joking!

    Bishop

    “Attracting Beautiful Women Just Got Easier!”
    http://www.new-alpha.com/seduction.htm

    Reply
  28. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | July 1, 2008 at 3:15 pm

    DonnaInMichigan, do you have Parkinson’s disease?

    Reply
  29. maudina | July 1, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    where is Randal?

    Reply
  30. leeza | July 1, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    Hopefully they are baby spiders and once born they eat her.

    Reply
  31. Mynheer Peeperkorn | July 1, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    DonnainMichigan is talking about everything in the Jolie-Pitts’ life happening in threes so she posted in threes. It’s like gossip site concept art.

    Ten bucks says this sickly junkie dies giving birth.

    Reply
  32. heisacheater | July 1, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    @20, you don’t have to wait for Brad Jr… Brad Sr. doesn’t stay faithful to one woman for very long.

    Reply
  33. athisfuneral | July 1, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    @29 – He croaked.

    Reply
  34. IgottabeMeee | July 1, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    Can you imagine the custody b.s. when these two break up? Every third child gets every fourth Wednesday with daddy, alternating holidays based on skin color…. Cuz you know neither of them have any integrity when it comes to relationship comittments.

    Reply
  35. Nice going Angelina | July 1, 2008 at 4:24 pm

    I like how the whole celebrity adoption thing played out in Africa:

    “I have also seen the unintended consequences of celebrity adoptions in Africa. Men are going to villages, taking advantage of those events, telling mothers that their daughters are going to be adopted by “celebrities” and “wealthy American families” — and that they can now cease to worry. The men give families $100 dollars and take their daughters away. These unknowing children are raped first and sent into sexual slavery. A few children adopted, thousands put at risk.”

    How nice of Angelina to follow her heart and not use her head.

    Hey Angie! You’re knockin’ ‘em dead out here! Keep up the good work!

    Reply
  36. tight lipped smiler | July 1, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    I can’t wait to see the new tattoo she’s getting to celebrate: “I am so not fat Earth Mother who stares hypnotically at my dumb-as-a-rock hunka flunka to keep him poking me full of babies whose pics I sell to the bibles of the fickle celeb obsessed masses” written in the old style Farsi of the desert land of the oppressed. It will start at her toes, wrap around her stretch marked belly and end at her goat teat bag nipples.

    Reply
  37. Zahara | July 1, 2008 at 4:41 pm

    I so excited dat muh ma fuckin mommy iz havin’ mo’ kids an dat boil on mah ass.

    Reply
  38. Brad NIxon | July 1, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    I hate her I wish very bad thinks in the future for her and The family

    Reply
  39. Brad NIxon | July 1, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    I hate her I wish very bad thinks in the future for her and The family

    Reply
  40. Brad NIxon | July 1, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    I hate her I wish very bad thinks in the future for her and The family

    Reply
  41. BaCrock Osama | July 1, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    Does she still have the Billy-Bob tattoo?

    Reply
  42. eastcoastgirl | July 1, 2008 at 6:13 pm

    I would never wish bad things on anyone. Especially innocent children. That being said, II do not like Angelina Jolie. I don’t believe she has ethics or morals. I hate that eternal smirk she always has on her face. Also, she always looks like she needs a bath. Greasy bitch!

    Reply
  43. comic strip chris | July 1, 2008 at 6:56 pm

    At least they are rarely in the limelight for the wrong reasons, so for that I’ll cut them some slack.

    Reply
  44. my comment | July 1, 2008 at 7:06 pm

    She’s out of her mind. Sorry for the kids.

    Reply
  45. jennifer_hammond | July 1, 2008 at 7:18 pm

    She won’t be giving birth, the doctor delivering will be. You seriously think she is going to have a natural delivery? With twins I really dont blame her for going the c section route but its not like she would go thru labor and pushing with just one baby either. Way too posh for that.

    Reply
  46. Jennifer Aniston | July 1, 2008 at 8:17 pm

    Brad & Angie will share utter bliss together with all these children. Nothing but breeders they are, nothing but breeders.

    Reply
  47. Sunday | July 2, 2008 at 7:25 am

    Amazing…I seemed to see she had a personal account on the wealthy dating club RICHLOVING.COM for hot guys and girls to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating. Her blog was updated very often. Lots of guys joined in her friend circle there.

    Reply
  48. King Wang | July 2, 2008 at 9:06 am

    You know, 15 years ago she really DID rate as personal “stroke material”, but now she is just another blowed out “MILF” that I would much rather kick out of a moving car so I can pick up a Hooker on Harry Hines in Dallas.

    Plus, you know the Hooker has less “Gyno Mileage”, and DEFINITELY less “Brad Parkinsons Dick Disease”.

    I watch Fight Club and wonder why such a man could become such a Slash Fanatic to someone with more mileage than The Governator’s Hummer…….

    I swear to God, she is like a Hefty Trash Bag that you filled up with beer bottles and fucking $20′s, and just walk around for a week because you are too fucking lazy to take it to the curb………….

    Reply
  49. gerard Vandenberg | July 2, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    YEP, you can imagine how BIG her PUSSY is today, NOT?

    Reply
  50. baby girl | July 2, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    I cant wait to see this babies.

    Reply

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