Angelina Jolie is huge

April 27th, 2006 // 144 Comments
ajolie-namibia-pregnant.jpg

Word on the street is that Angelina Jolie is pregnant. Nice try, but I’m not buying it. Do pregnant people have huge fat bellies that look like they’re storing something the size of a small infant in there? I rest my case, your honor.

superficial

  1. munchy

    hmmm, she looks like an actual person. hooray for getting knocked up!

  2. Akapee

    Wow, she looks like a balloon…

  3. mamacita

    Anne Curry has a nasty nipply looking tumor on her sternum.

  4. Obadiah

    Now her gut is almost as big as her floatation device lips.

    PS I think the baby’s daddy is her brother.

  5. frenchtoaststix

    Hot damn, fifth.

    Dang that Angelina for still looking great
    as a pregnantosaur. I wonder if the baby will have fake wax lips ike hers?

  6. Sodomy_is_for_Girls

    That’s a-freakin’ great picture!

  7. Obadiah

    I must admit that Jolie is a beautiful woman but that whole making-out-with-her-brother thing makes me ill. And the fact that she had intercourse with nasty Billy Bob Thornton doesn’t help either. :::shudders:::

  8. ranesing

    Four different shades of brown and none of them match. Plus the boots look stoopit.

  9. shankyouverymuch

    hmmm… her outfit is real nice and sweet and down to earth and wholesome… everything that she is the direct oppose of… SLUT

  10. EvilFiend

    $10 Bucks the baby comes out black… She might have been spending to much quality time in Africa without Brad ;)

  11. shankyouverymuch

    #7

    Not only did she have sex with ol’ billy-bob, but at the time she was proud to exclaim that it was that extra special kind of sex… BOOTY-LOVE!!! apparently she likes it in the brown eye… old brownie… but then what girl doesn’t!?!?!!

  12. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Did anyone notice the Superficial editor is using my ‘word on the street’ line? Anyone???

    You hear and you hear me good, you pigfuckers! I demand my check for 42 cents! My brother’s a lawyer! Well, he’s a legal secretary, but he reads a lot.
    Assholes.

  13. TaftHartley

    That is SO a fake pregnancy!!! Obviously a prosthetic pad under that shirt. Carrying Brad’s turkey baster Scientology child……wait. Shit sorry. Wrong celebrity freaks.

  14. mmmBitch

    She’s a nutter… crazy people shouldn’t be allowed to have kids. I wonder if she still keeps the electric chair she bought around the house.

  15. Bugman4045

    GOD!!This is like a dream come true! I’ve had a thing for pregnant women, Angelina Jolie, and Anne Curry for years. Now if only they were showering together instead of standing around sweating in Africa, my fantasy world would be complete!!!

  16. Tatamo

    All of you haters can eat glass…she is beautiful…and unlike everyone else we read about on here..she actually does good with her money…who cares if she like it in the ass…or with females…SHES NORMAL HUMAN WITH HER OWN FETISHES…but she gives a lot more of a damn about children and poverty than a lot of stuck up actors/actress….

  17. shankyouverymuch

    Another way to look at it would be that if she would have stuck to anal, she wouldn

  18. gogoboots

    She looks like a normal pregnant lady, wow…too bad she’s fucking nuts, she doesn’t even know who Brad is…

  19. TaftHartley

    And WTF is with those heavy boots??! It’s Africa, for fuck’s sakes. Everyone else is in sandals. Maybe she was packing for Lake Como.

  20. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    The Superficial owes me money. I’m going to use it to take Ann Curry out on a nice date and seduce her with jewelry and tickets to the opera.

  21. Obadiah

    Tataho…Is Jolie good just because she travels around the world buying kids for her collection. Not so long ago thousands of women did this same thing, only difference was they were Beanie Babies and not humans. But no one ever thought of these overweight, middle-aged women as philanthropists!!!

  22. Obadiah

    #7 I never heard the pooper comment but it doesn’t surprise me. She’s freaky. Also, Anne Curry seems enamored by Jolie. I wonder if they are lovers? We all know Jolie has a thing for Asian women.

  23. shankyouverymuch

    #16

    Oh please don

  24. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    45. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 27, 2006 05:55 PM
    Hey guys, word on the street is Edna Bambrick is reporting all disgusting posts!
    35. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 26, 2006 06:27 PM
    Word on the street is a male stripper poked her in the eye with his “cocktail straw” when she was out partying with Janice Dickinson the other night.
    You know, because on the streets them niggaz got to know the deal – Terri Hatcher ain’t exactly what it do, feel me?
    157. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 25, 2006 08:56 PM
    Word on the street is, Tom Cruise loves the cock.

  25. gigi33

    What’s with the stupid head scarf? She’s looking sort of matronly. I wonder if Brad is rethinking his decision. No, probably not. He sold his manhood months ago. Maybe Angelina will let him look at it after the baby is born.

  26. Jessie

    Shit! Even dressed like a slob & pregnant out to there, she still looks better than any woman alive. There is no hope.

  27. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    This is all a big fucking conspiracy, and it has something to do with MeganHarris, Rachel Ray, Edna, SweeterSweeterBoyfriendStealer, the Editor, Rush Limbaugh, Scientology, and the voices in my head.
    And before anyone says it, yes, I fucking invented that phrase so please go fuck yourself you asshole idiot.

  28. Rylie

    God, what I wouldn’t do for just one day of hot lesbian action with her…

  29. In your face

    Not nice being pregnant, unless your carrying an tom cruises alien inside.

  30. Erienne

    Alright everyone who thinks she looks like a boat-(including the Superfish guy) …

    Anyone with half a brain knows that you gain weight when pregnant…Doesn’t seem like shes gained weight anywhere except her stomach. She also just picked an unflattering outfit. Those babydoll tops or whatever the shit those are called don’t look good on anyone…I dont care if you ARE britney spears. They suck.

    yeah, she’s beautiful, yeah I’d turn lesbian for Angelina Jolie, and yeah i dont give a crap what retard MeganHarris/sherry-co/Satan says. go worship elron hubbard or whatever you scientologists do.

  31. shankyouverymuch

    #22

    Oh yeah, you got a big time anal-girl there. Don

  32. mamacita

    @27

    “And before anyone says it, yes, I fucking invented that phrase so please go fuck yourself you asshole idiot.”

    Yes, I believe that you invented that phrase (mostly because I’m afraid of what you’ll do if I say I don’t believe you), but you know what? The key is, to get that shit PATENTED. That’s where the money is. Word.

  33. Chrystal03

    I’d hit it….without the baby bump of course!

  34. sid

    It’d be cool if she died during childbirth.

    I hate celebrities who are assholes and lousy actors and are merely enjoying the cult of celebrity because they were born famous and never had to work a goddamn day in their fucking lives, and neither will her fucking spoiled brat.

  35. In your face

    Who’s the chick next to Angelina? Shes looks hot in torquiose, Mmmm maybe not.

  36. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    32 – Thank you for aknowledging that I am right and they are wrong because I really need attention. Also, patents are for faggots. When I say something, even if it is the word “bathroom”, no one else can say it without my permission. If you do not have my permission you must call it something else like “the shit depository” or “the room where I lock myself in to cry and cut myself with razors.” Whatever works for the individual.

  37. TaftHartley

    oshkoshb-goshdammgosh, word on the street is go fuck yourself funny boy.

  38. lilystar

    Minus the boots…she looks beautiful…there’s really nothing catty to say…oh what a horrible woman, she adopted 2 poverty stricken children…let’s pick on Britney, I can get into that.

  39. lurking inside of her womb is the celebrity messiah; the most beautiful and powerful baby ever to grace the earth. Suri Cruise will be this child’s nemesis and one day in the future they will fight to the death…damn, i need to get some sleep
    http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com

  40. HollyJ

    1. I think she looks GORGEOUS, preggo and all.

    2. Who the fuck cares what she wears in Africa? Look behind her at the locals. TOTALLY red-carpet material–all of them. (I esp like those puke-green-and-ocre velvetine pants with the white flip-flops. BTW, is that person lying on the ground? WTF?)

    3. This is totally unrelated, but I just wanted to share. It’s cool when someone’s too fucking stupid to kill himself with a nail gun. Next, he’ll survive having his head cut off and shoved up his ass…
    http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/04/21/nail.gun.ap/index.html

  41. Tatamo

    Obadass – Funny thing is if you move outside your narrow-minded asshole…or head whichever,…every picture you see her in with HER kids…shes the one taking care of them (holding them)…not some nanny or whoever walking with them. I give her much respect for that…now go back to the shopping network and continue buying into your collection of “bull-shit” liners…

  42. lilystar

    #41…exactly.

    And I’m on Prednisone so no arguments or I might lose it…haha. :P

  43. TryTheVeal

    Brad Pitt has to be the luckiest SOB on the planet to nail Paltrow, Anniston and now Jolie.

    I do feel sorry for the baby. The kid has zero chance at a normal life, however, has a 1000% chance at a better life than Suri.

    Mr. and Mrs. Smith sucked, though, except for the part where she called him a pussy.

  44. HollyJ

    Isn’t it about time for someone to post “Tom Cruise loves cock” ?

  45. SoWhat???

    While she is certainly not ugly-she is definitely NOT the best looking woman alive…yet she is 1,000 times better than most of Hollywood

  46. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    TaftHartley, that’s the word on the street? I thought those niggas had my back, but I guess I better just go fuck myself then. Holla.

  47. BadassFred

    I think she looks cute. She needs to get the rest of that Billy Bob tattoo sanded off though. Ew.

  48. St.Minutia

    She is bloated and overrated just like her starbond on the Hollywood Stock Exchange.

    http://www.hsx.com

  49. shankyouverymuch

    #44

    By the way… Tom Cruise loves cock… Does that make happy HollyJ dear… OXOXO

  50. shankyouverymuch

    #46

    oshkoshb-goshdammgosh did you write the
    “N”- word!… say you didn’t, PLEASE say you didn’t…!

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