Angelina Jolie confirms she’s having twins

May 14th, 2008 // 92 Comments

Angelina Jolie confirmed today that she is definitely sporting double fetuseses. She had no choice in the matter after Jack Black accidentally spilled the beans then sang a goofy song with his guitar. Us Magazine reports:

Jolie confirmed the news that has long been rumored: she and beau Brad Pitt are expecting twins. Her Kung Fu Panda co-star Jack Black let the news slip during an interview about the movie that took place this afternoon at the Cannes Film Festival in France.

For those keeping score at home, this brings the Pitt-Jolie’s one baby closer to TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION. Better start brushing up on your Pitt-Jolie-ese. Feel free to practice by translating the following examples. (Hint: Don’t forget to conjugate the verbs.):

1. Baby uterus adopt the ridiculously good looking with the procreate.
2. Monster boobs!
3. Charity UN the fallopian tube Brad pecs.
4. What the fuck happened to Ed Norton’s career?

Answer Key: 1. Please put mustard on my sandwich. 2. Hello! (Formal.) 3. The bathroom is the second door to the left. 4. What the fuck happened to Ed Norton’s career?

Photos: INFdaily
superficial

  1. cavy

    I agree with poster #29. I respect Angie for adopting (there are so many children in need ALREADY on this overburdened planet) – they’ve had there little DNA replica….so why choke out Earth with even more bodies? Especially for someone so plugged into the world – it seems a bit out of place.

  2. Brat Pitt's taint

    What’s with all the IVF bashing? Do you really think stars are selecting a la cart babies and going in there and saying “hey pump me every day with shots to the stomach and ass and then stick a needle through my vajayjay, through my cervix, through my uterus and onto my eggs. Then I want to lay in bed for 2 days after the transfer and go with a 50% of a maybe it will work.”

    Yea that’s what everyone wants to do.

    You who judge IVF are all fucking stupid. It’s called waiting too fucking long for their career and they’re old ass has cooked eggs. It’s not a choice.

    Next time send your mothers a “Wish you aborted me” Mother’s Day card, losers.

  3. wat

    WOW LOOK AT THAT BABY HOLY SHIT ITS SO FAT PUT IT ON A DIET THAT CANT BE HEALTHY, FAT BABY OH MY GOD WOW ITS GOING TO DIE OF A HEART ATTACK ITS SO FAT. FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT

  4. wat

    O WAIT, I FORGOT, THAT BABY IS WHITE. FORGET WAT I SAID. AT LEAST ITS NOT A BLACK APE.

  5. Rumsfeld and Treason (Neocons/911...next attack?)

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/05/13/rumsfeld-on-2006-election_n_101537.html

    To those who did not see this. In 96 Rumsfeld more or less advocated another attack for us “unmature” Americans. READ this!
    Dear Republican idiots (not the smart ones): hang your heads in shame. You have been lied to.
    Where is Binky?
    Binky I need a comment!

  6. VeggieIsACunt

    Veggie is a cunt

  7. Yeah

    LMAO #7.

  8. Yeah

    3, “Now a picture without the pet monkey”

  9. britney's weave

    that is definitely brad pitt’s child. wow.

  10. britney's weave

    p.s. those are some serious pythons on angie’s arms in the second pic.

  11. kitty dog bear

    unmarried slut.

  12. DK

    Oh look…….it’s Angelina, Shiloh and their pet monkey.

  13. She's a beaut

    You know, a good guy like me tries to have pretty babies like that and I get stuck with a lizard lipped fat skank for a daughter. I hope she reads this.

  14. Soy

    Im sad that those kids have to be photographed. That’s pretty shitty.

  15. shimmy

    What the fuck happened to Eddy Norton’s career?…

    …hmmm. Sources say he and Brad would have done a Fight Club sequel a long time ago which would have boosted his career again. But Ange just keeps pooping out the lil shits, which takes up Brad’s time, which kills off fight club 2, which stops poor Eddy from having a career again.

    P.S. Ange’s tummy looks fat. And her daughter has a fat face, fat legs, fat arms… and flat boobs. Why’s that? Nature confuses me.

  16. cavy

    After reading most of these comments….all I can say is….90% of the posters are functionally retarded.

  17. Chupacabra

    I feel sorry for the little girl she adopted being made fun of here. She’s very lucky to be out of Africa and being taken care of by rich people. I wish I could be some rich lady’s kid.

    :(

  18. norton

    The only reason this broad keeps adopting and pumping out kids is pretty transparent.

    Fucked up childhood.

    It’ll be interesting to see how fucked up her kids end up.

  19. Bizzy

    They tried to adopt late last year in Africa, but were denied. Guess that matching child to Zahara will have to wait. Since adoption agencies are finally starting to see that “Angie” is not a fit parent but a selfish narcissist who puts her own needs first, guess they had to go the natural way to gain more kids (ie attention).

  20. sla

    #8 — I wonder how her figure will bounce back.

    My guess would be money, a top-notch personal trainer, and a highly skilled, very discreet plastic surgeon.

  21. sla

    #27, Shiloh’s jawline:

    I think it’s just baby-face fat, my guess is she will be cute. Neither Brad nor Angie have a Bruce Willis lantern jaw. Rumer has my sympathy.

  22. I think there are some ten baby’s or so already, NOT!!

  23. Hmm

    Is it me…or does Shiloh look more and more like Petunia pig..?

    Could be the mouth and nose.

    Cute?…as a “pigs” ear.

  24. jen hutchin

    Sholoh’s cute, but waht’s with the black clothes on a baby?

  25. guest

    that kid is GORGEOUS!! I hope she grows up sensibly.

  26. twzzlrgirl

    First of all, I’m all for making fun of celebrities, especially when they make themselves look ridiculous; but making fun of kids (of any race) just shows you have the mentality of a middle-schooler.

    Second, why take issue with how many kids they have? They can afford it, they seem to be taking care of their four WAY better than Brit took care of her two. They seem like loving, hands-on parents.

  27. EuroNeckPain

    #29/30: about overpopulation: search the Internet and you will see that the main culprits, if tiny places are removed, are:
    Bengladesh (1002 people/km2)
    South Korea (492)
    THE NETHERLANDS (395)
    Lebanon (368)
    BELGIUM (340)
    China is at 53rd position with only 136. But they had a birth-control policy. So everyone think China is overpopulated.
    Conclusion: the ogres of the Earth are in Europe (overpopulation) and the USA (biggest waste and pollution).

  28. EuroNeckPain

    I must say I find it very sad that some people (no doubt they are American) are still calling black people “apes” and enjoying it.

  29. Must Feel Sorry for the Imbeciles

    #79

    You know those people who are so desperate for attention so they keep trying to crack jokes without realizing how idiotically boring they are? Well, since they keep losing their audience, they try their jokes here.

  30. tati

    WHO MAKES THEIR BABY GIRLS WEAR BLACK ON A SUNNY DAY?! children have to wear colors!

  31. Poor Conformists

    #81

    And that is one of the reasons, sweetie, why Angelina is who she is and you are just a nobody (who will follow every rule, logical or not).

    I can see if you’re arguing white vs. black on a sunny day. But colors? So any dark color which will absorb about the same amount of heat is acceptable?

    Oh wait… Maybe you believe that making your children wear colors on a sunny day make them more intelligent or resistant to diseases?

  32. eurotrash

    #78 I dont really get what you’re saying and i doubt you do; ALL the countries you listed are small and and have relatively small populations – you listed the number of people per square kilometer (=population density). China for example does have one of the biggest populations in the world but is lower on your list because it’s also a huge country with a lot of uninhabited regions.

  33. Open your eyes

    #12 – Does your face look any better than Brad’s?
    #36 – Do you know what genes are? If not, let’s make it easier. Google Shiloh’s first baby pictures. Angie must’ve gave her some botox a few days ahead of the photo shoot and even now, yeah…that’s it.
    #62 – Being conventional isn’t always the best route to take. Look at the divorce rates in America. I BET there are married women out there at this moment who are cheating on their husbands. Wedding bands are a SYMBOL of what a marriage should be. You don’t need a material item to know what it means to be faithful and loving.

    #82 – Right on!

    I can’t believe some of you have the nerve to negatively judge these kids and their physical features. They are KIDS! So what if they have more children then the average family (one or two)? If Angie and Brad have the resources and capabilities to do all the humanitarian deeds that they do, I’m very sure they won’t have a problem raising their children to be smart, knowledgeable, open minded individuals. Ignorance will not make YOUR world a better place.

  34. Xio

    All you guys who are making fun out of the little gorgeous Zahara are simply pathetic. At the end of the day, she’s been adopted by a multi-millionaire couple while you racist no-hopers are sitting at home insulting people who simply couldn’t care less whether you killed yourselves or got hit by a bus. Go and get a hobby!

  35. Pink

    Her baby is ugly, it’s not as cute as I thought it would be. The baby got her mommys lips and resembles a fish.

  36. Bobbie Girl

    Hi

  37. Bobbie Girl

    Hi

  38. Bobbie Girl

    Sorry about that, my first time posting a comment.
    I feel this Jolie-Pitt thing…., whatever it is with multiple adaptions, having thier own baby, then Jolie not being into Shiloh then becomming preg. by invitro with twins, jet setting around the world constantly, buying new homes everywhere but only living in them a short while, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars for whatever, flying planes while pregnant….oh lets not forget homewrecking, divorce, adultrey, while at the same time trying to save the world and children well…., is just kinda makes me fuck in sick to my stomach. The whole thing is weird like Michael Jackson or Anne Heshe.
    I admire truly, Jolie for what she has become a childrens advocate for the unfortunate but it’s like she has reverted back to this weird behavior and Pitt to me now has the persona of a cheese-mo, milkey, limp wristed man. I really liked Jolie when she was single advocating for children she had such an integerity and force behind her and was deserving of respect and admiration. Now my stomach turns when I see them.

    As you guessed, I can’t spell.

  39. carmelita fronita

    dont you people see that shilo looks nothing like brad she looks like her grandfather angelina’s dad go compare pictures of him and shilo
    and she is so ugly just like her grandpa and her mom

  40. carmelita fronita

    dont you people see that shilo looks nothing like brad she looks like her grandfather angelina’s dad go compare pictures of him and shilo
    and she is so ugly just like her grandpa and her mom

  41. carmelita fronita

    dont you people see that shilo looks nothing like brad she looks like her grandfather angelina’s dad go compare pictures of him and shilo
    and she is so ugly just like her grandpa and her mom

  42. carmelita fronita

    dont you people see that shilo looks nothing like brad she looks like her grandfather angelina’s dad go compare pictures of him and shilo
    and she is so ugly just like her grandpa and her mom

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