Angelina Jolie in a little black dress

November 10th, 2008 // 99 Comments

Angelina Jolie starved her way into a little black dress for the Kung Fu Panda DVD release party in Los Angeles yesterday. And, wow, seeing Angelina slink around in that little number truly is the stuff of fantasies:

She saunters seductively into the room holding a martini. The black dress clinging to her skeletal frame that somehow possesses chest cannons that would make the Russians piss in their babushkas. I had to have her.

We embrace. We kiss. She gives birth. I trip on the umbilical cord.

Passion. Intrigue. JOLIE.

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Born in Los Angeles, California, Jolie is the daughter of actors Jon Voight and Marcheline Bertrand. She is the sister of actor James Haven, niece of singer-songwriter Chip Taylor, and goddaughter of actors Jacqueline Bisset and Maximilian Schell.

Comments (99)

  1. AllieCat | November 10, 2008 at 10:06 am

    wow, she got back in shape fast after only 3 months! crazy…..

    Reply
  2. Skeps | November 10, 2008 at 10:06 am

    A Disney DVD release party? seriously?

    Reply
  3. kelley | November 10, 2008 at 10:07 am

    Piss in their babushkas ?? A babushka is a Russian grandmother, bonehead !

    Reply
  4. Nessa | November 10, 2008 at 10:08 am

    first? who cares
    I used to like her.
    She looks prettier in the movies. Make up miracles

    Reply
  5. Mila Kunis | November 10, 2008 at 10:11 am

    It’s an older Mila Kunis!

    Reply
  6. Christine | November 10, 2008 at 10:15 am

    She’s losing her looks. Definitely.

    Reply
  7. Bickus Dickus | November 10, 2008 at 10:18 am

    I heard she tried to adopt Kung-Fu Panda, but then someone told her it wasn’t a real panda, and real panda’s can’t speak like they do in the movies….so now she’s just gonna adopt another Indonesian kid…

    Reply
  8. mimi | November 10, 2008 at 10:25 am

    Why blame Angelina for being a low-life husband stealing home wreaker?

    Isn’t “the most beautiful women in the world” entitled to the “world’s hottest man?”

    Reply
  9. jimbonics | November 10, 2008 at 10:27 am

    Madonna? Is that you?

    Reply
  10. catherine | November 10, 2008 at 10:32 am

    she is gorgeous, hope she will love her profile at ^**^*SUGAR babymeet.c o m *^*^*

    Reply
  11. Uncle Eccoli | November 10, 2008 at 10:37 am

    @3

    I thought so too…

    Reply
  12. FRIST!!! | November 10, 2008 at 10:37 am

    I want to see her stomach. She’s GOT to have some terrifying stretch marks going on down there..

    Reply
  13. Vince Lombardi | November 10, 2008 at 10:38 am

    She should do Playboy while she still has her looks. This is not her best moment.

    Reply
  14. Rough Daddy | November 10, 2008 at 10:39 am

    How does swedish, french, japanese broads look skinny without looking gaunty..how do they do it!

    Reply
  15. Danny | November 10, 2008 at 10:44 am

    How is it people can look at her and _not_ see a beautiful woman? She’s gorgeous, no matter what you think of her politics or attitudes about children as chattel.

    Reply
  16. God | November 10, 2008 at 10:51 am

    and BOOM!
    I am your little black dress…

    Reply
  17. Lisa Lisa | November 10, 2008 at 10:54 am

    With all that money, you’d think she’d get better shoes.

    Reply
  18. English Bob | November 10, 2008 at 10:54 am

    I thought we were trying to get Pandas to mate..? How’s this going to help?

    Reply
  19. Sport | November 10, 2008 at 10:57 am

    She is looking far too plastic these days. Always same expression, smirk, and pose.

    YAWN.

    Reply
  20. havoc | November 10, 2008 at 10:58 am

    Angelina…

    Arby’s has a 5 for $5 deal. Check it out.

    .

    Reply
  21. Jen | November 10, 2008 at 10:59 am

    Piss in their grandmothers?

    Reply
  22. Melissa B | November 10, 2008 at 11:01 am

    Wow. All blogs do now a days is hate hate hate. You are all so negative! Who gives a shit if she adopts children, what the hell do you do to make this world better? It shouldnt be called “Blogs” it should be called “Haters”.

    Reply
  23. Turd Ferguson | November 10, 2008 at 11:07 am

    Look, anybody can shed pounds like shit through a goose if you have money.
    1) Hire 17 nannies to raise your child army.
    2) Don’t eat.
    3) Work out with $25,000/month personal trainer 7 times a day.
    4) Grin with pride as you start to resemble madonna.

    Turd “I still wouldn’t do her” Ferguson

    Reply
  24. pete | November 10, 2008 at 11:07 am

    When she moves her joints make crackling noises like microwave popcorn. Add the creepy smile and you have the woman Marc Anthony should have married.

    Reply
  25. http://starstylefile.wordpress.com | November 10, 2008 at 11:07 am

    She could always totally turn me, but is it just me or is there something not quite right about her in these pictures? And why did she gets so thin so fast after twins? It can’t be good for you.

    Reply
  26. DhimmiTude | November 10, 2008 at 11:09 am

    @9

    Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. She’s looking a little “Madonna-esque” in that first pic isn’t she.

    Reply
  27. ur mom | November 10, 2008 at 11:09 am

    She has worn the same dress in different lengths for the same 20 events she’s attended. BORING!

    Reply
  28. ur mom | November 10, 2008 at 11:09 am

    She has worn the same dress in different lengths for the same 20 events she’s attended. BORING!

    Reply
  29. wtf | November 10, 2008 at 11:10 am

    fyi: a babushka is also a type of head scarf that eastern european women wear. I believe (not 100% certain) that the head scarf definition is polish, but don’t hold me to it.
    also, she sorta looks here like she did when she was kissing her brother. I liked her better than, she was at least interesting. Not that I don’t applaud her human rights activism, but I like my celebs crazy, not saintly.

    Reply
  30. Gits | November 10, 2008 at 11:10 am

    Actually you only need one thing to lose pounds: a doctor who will prescribe you the really good drugs. Very few of the Hollywood underweights have true anorexia nervosa. They simply have docs who’ll keep prescribing.

    Reply
  31. dork | November 10, 2008 at 11:16 am

    Who cares about that dress??

    Look at those amazing legs. I just want to throw off her shoes so I can suck on a toe or two then have her walk all over me…

    Reply
  32. Mos | November 10, 2008 at 11:41 am

    She’s getting gross. too many kids = super boney and strange weird face. I can’t believe I used to daydream about anally raping her. I want my fantasies back.

    Reply
  33. KAREN | November 10, 2008 at 11:56 am

    sORRY,BUT PUT jENNIFER ANISTON NEXT TO HER AND SEE GEORGOUS

    Reply
  34. KAREN | November 10, 2008 at 11:56 am

    sORRY,BUT PUT jENNIFER ANISTON NEXT TO HER AND SEE GEORGOUS

    Reply
  35. Parker | November 10, 2008 at 11:56 am

    I agree. She’s looking her age these days. Face all puffy and shiny too. Probably hypertensive. Don’t get me wrong, I’d still bend her over and fuck her in the ass but I mean seriously, why would you want to spend any more time than you have to with her? Mentally, she’s got to be more than anyone can deal with and now add in the fact her skin’s sagging and she’s got a roomful of kids and suddenly you’re looking at a long life of misery.

    Reply
  36. Plastic Sturgeon | November 10, 2008 at 11:59 am

    @#30: That is not true at all.

    The stars in Hollywood are anorexic AND their doctors prescribe weight loss medications.

    If you think for one moment Angie isn’t anorexic, think again.

    Reply
  37. me | November 10, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    Nice look in a little dress. She looks very attractive!

    Reply
  38. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | November 10, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    That dress would look great puddled around her ankles at the foot of my bed.

    Reply
  39. D | November 10, 2008 at 12:15 pm

    i still think she looks great

    Reply
  40. mixedmartialartvideos.com | November 10, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    that made my day!

    Reply
  41. rachel | November 10, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    she looks so ugly!!!

    Reply
  42. rachel | November 10, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    she looks so ugly!!!

    Reply
  43. e-rock | November 10, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    Man or woman, if Angie was in your bed, you wouldn’t throw her out! Im a woman, and straight, and I certainly would let her do naughty things to me!!! LOOK AT THOSE LEGS!!!!!! Any woman who says she isn’t gorgeous is lying, and any man who says she isn’t gorgeous is lying too, end of story.
    She is the definition of beauty!

    Reply
  44. e-rock | November 10, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    Man or woman, if Angie was in your bed, you wouldn’t throw her out! Im a woman, and straight, and I certainly would let her do naughty things to me!!! LOOK AT THOSE LEGS!!!!!! Any woman who says she isn’t gorgeous is lying, and any man who says she isn’t gorgeous is lying too, end of story.
    She is the definition of beauty!

    Reply
  45. missjax | November 10, 2008 at 12:50 pm

    Actually, if Angie WAS in my bed I’d cry & wonder why God sent me the boogeyman!

    Reply
  46. j | November 10, 2008 at 1:03 pm

    Superfish, madonna isnt the only walking corpse any more by the looks of things.

    Reply
  47. Nella | November 10, 2008 at 1:05 pm

    #44, I definitely agree. And it’s the dress that’s making her look bad – shapeless, not the best thing at all. I guess she thought her legs would make up for it – and he rlegs look wonderful – but because the dress is so squarish, it makes her look skinny.

    Reply
  48. Fit for Life! | November 10, 2008 at 1:14 pm

    #23

    Or you can exercise self control and have the discipline to exercise regularly and stay fit like me. No person is forcing another person not to exercise or eat fast food and junk food.

    Reply
  49. Narcissist | November 10, 2008 at 1:23 pm

    I think this proves that she was not the model for her character in “Beowulf”.

    She may have been the model for the “Grendel” character, though…look at those creepy bird legs…

    Here she is trying to get an Oscar…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTD48cKpGXU

    Reply
  50. Fallen Angel | November 10, 2008 at 1:44 pm

    She really is loosing her looks. It’s quite sad. She was such a beauty. I wished she’d gain some weight. I’m sure it would bring back a lot of beauty if she weren’t so skeletal looking.

    Reply

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