Angelina Jolie has more money than you

January 25th, 2007 // 181 Comments

Angelina Jolie reportedly spent more than $700 last Friday to check into Shutters on the Beach hotel in Santa Monica for two hours so that she and Maddox could take a shower. A source says:

“Angelina said they only wanted the room for two hours – time enough for them both to take a shower. She was very sweet and seemed like a concerned mom. It was just very bizarre, when she and Brad (Pitt) own two houses here in Los Angeles, that she would need to spend that kind of money on a hotel room just so she and Maddox could shower.”

Jesus, if I spent $700 on a hotel room you better believe I’d stay there until they kicked me out. And even then I’d just sneak back through the window yelling about squatter’s rights and waving the American flag in the air.


  1. combustion8

    dirty slut

  2. Angelina showers?

    brad pitt wants to be a man at crabbie’s

  3. Lowlands

    Angelina just wanted to spend some time without Brad.No matter what the price is.Is that such a big deal?

  4. scienceguy

    Dear Science Guy,

    I am the proud owner of a 2001 FORD F-250, SUPER DUTY, 4WD, 4 DOOR, LARRIAT EDITION. My question is how slow do I need to drive in order to match the gas mileage of a TOYOTA COROLLA driving at say 55 miles per hour?

    Oh and I was also wondering if it’s worth it to remove the tail gate. I heard that removing the tail gate creates a “wind tunnel” effect that will trickle down to my fuel economy. If this is true, how much will it improve my fuel economy?

    I have to admit that I never watch your show, but don’t take it personal. I just don’t have an interest in science or history.


    George from Texas


    Dear George,

    The secret to saving fuel with one of those JUMBO SIZED, SUPER DUTY, OFF ROAD, DIESEL POWERED, HARLEY EDITION, LEATHER SEAT, MEGA CAB, PICKUP TRUCKS is to leave it parked in the drive way. It also seems to me that you may be suffering from a little bit of “COROLLA ENVY”.


    Mr. Science Guy

  5. LoneWolf

    Meh. $700 to her is like $7 to us. Maybe even 70 cents.

    They were probably out shopping and the kid crapped his pants. Or she did. This town is spread out – I don’t care how many houses you have, if you need to take a shower and you aren’t close to home, why suffer if you don’t have to?

    That said, fuck ‘er.

  6. danielle

    Why can’t she spend 700 dollars on a face transplant?

    Now THAT would be money well spent. Fugly broad.

  7. B_rightside

    What a spoiled doofus. That’s really when you have too much money.

  8. gwb

    Just checking in to a hotel for a couple of hours of quality alone-time with Maddox. Wow. I thought she was going to hold out until he was at least 13. Guess we now know who the favorite is (Brad included).

  9. Michael1

    Teaching your little survivor adoptee about the REAL things in life, eh Angie?

    Just think how many staving siblings Maddox could have fed with that hedonistically blown $700.

  10. Pointandlaugh

    she should have went to a Motel 6, and she still would have had $3 bucks left over.

  11. BarbadoSlim

    Watch out for the horde of Fanistons HERE THEY COME!!

    oh and I’D it, she wouldn’t have to spend on the room we could just do it behind any dumpster.

  12. Pointandlaugh

    actually, my last post wasn’t funny. (waves hand Jedi Mind Control style —- “That was not the post you read… will only pay attention to teh post below”)

    Jolie is a veiny skank.

  13. BarbadoSlim


  14. ChristmasOnMars

    The real question is, did she wipe her dick on the drapes?

  15. Michael1

    Actually #11 I’d expect gaggles of Jolie fans, praising her Sainthood and turning her hyposcrisy into a sacrament. I’m sure Libraesque will appear to spout Holie Jolie-isms as soon as she catches the scent of old fish lips.

  16. talking polyp

    As a gesture of reconciliation, I would pleasure Angie using Jen’s chin. (btw I think Zhenchin is the name of their next adoptee)

  17. zena marie

    They went to a hotel that donates all its profits to African orphanages *jeez* you guys didn’t know that?
    Come on! Saint Angelina shits communion wafers. She wouldn’t be caught dead lavishly spending money on such frivolity.

  18. 86

    She was fucking someone else. I can’t believe she would subject Maddox to that.

  19. sol

    that’s a striking picture of angie. if i’m not mistaken, her instinct will be to bite off brad’s head when they mate.

  20. tallcoolone

    She probably just wanted to shower with her son. We know how she likes to tongue her own brother, so anything’s possible here, folks…after all, it is AJ…

  21. Sheva

    Who cares she did what she had to but why does she look like Alien V in this photo? It’s friggin bizzare.

  22. Lesbianesque

    fuck you #15. Yea her charity work is impressive compared to the other self obssessed douchebags in the biz, but I happen to think that ducking into a hotel and paying 700 clams for a shower is hella crazy. Maybe she needed a fix.

  23. BarbadoSlim

    She does look like an alien though, a better, and if they were alien she’d be a better looking alien than Aniston. Who’d look like a common lowly worker drone.

  24. wedgeone


    OK – back on topic … I wonder if Angelina will remember this moment of frivolity and hedonism (as was so eloquently put above) at the moment in the future when she realizes that she’s absolutely broke.

    Oh, and to answer #6′s question – face transplants are still in the experimental stage, over in Europe, and cost more than $700. Now shouldn’t you have asked her for the $700 to get you a brain transplant. Even a $700 brain in your Frankenstein head would be an upgrade to what you have now.

  25. RussianMafia

    It was drugs or sex. Maddox was sent home in a private sedan out back.

  26. StanGable

    limosine liberal

  27. Tracy

    When I check into a motel for just a couple of hours… oh, nevermind.

  28. Michael1

    Not if you paid me and promised to do my laundry to boot #22, the ever-predictable Libraesque.

    There are other celebrities doing charity work, you just don’t hear about it. If you’re so impressed with philanthropy, look ‘em up, instead of creaming your panties every time a media whore like Jolie pats an orphan on the head.

  29. IFuckingHateYou

    There is no truth to this story.
    The give-away is the part where it says she showered. This disgusting cunt hasn’t bathed since about 1996.
    You can see the real story at

  30. She needed to shower after I jizzed all over her.

  31. lizzywoo

    hmm… sounds like it angie takes two hours to thoroughly molest a child.

  32. Lowlands

    According to Angelina her high bloodpressure lately.I’ll advice her not to spend a couple of hours next time in a hotelroom but a couple of months with all her kids.For Brad maybe it’s better as well.He could visit his mum now he has finally some time left.Somehow i got the impression he’s close with his mum.

  33. Lesbianesque

    Listen #28 we could go round and round about this issue. You don’t “hear” about other peoples charity work because they don’t do it on the level that Jolie does. Tell me about another star who has lived for weeks at a time in refugee camps, on dozens of occassions, not to mention the millions of dollars she and Pitt have donated , as well as setting up dozens of charitable organizations. “look it up” maybe then we can talk. Until then STFU

  34. BarbadoSlim

    I agree with what bulldyke-esque said, she has put her money where her mouth is.

    She has.

  35. RichPort

    Slim, she actually puts her mouth where MY money is… I usually keep my money on my unzipped lap.

  36. Lesbianesque

    ritchie, you never get laid and everyone knows it. you keep your money on your unzipped lap at strip clubs, then you go home, alone and broke with nothing but lap dance memories

  37. Bioplant

    Dear danielle, #6 –

    You calling Angelina Jolie is the most amusing thing I’ve read this morning.

    That’s like calling you skinny. Or good looking – it just doesn’t make any fucking sense.

    Time for your Milk Bones.

  38. biatcho

    Rich – it’s just jealous because they actually give you lapdances at the strip clubs. When they see bulldyke coming they all hide in the VIP BJ room and send the bouncers to chase It away, mainly by walking up to it with their dicks hanging out so It will run away screaming, hopefully never to be seen or smelled again.

  39. Lesbianesque

    hey prison trash, I knew you’d appear after my first post of the day, you wait for me, frantically clicking on that refresh button, don’t you

  40. biatcho

    I heart bulldykes with vagina sores.

  41. Lesbianesque

    you know bitch-ho, I haven’t thanked you for calling me a bulldyke, because it sends everyone to my Myspace to look at my pictures, where they discover that I’m an ultra femme, and that you’re a fucking ridiculous asshole, who’s fat.

  42. biatcho

    Wow, tell us all what it’s like to be so delusional & isolated? And crazy. And blubbery.

  43. ToiletDuck

    I would probably spend $700.00 to shower with her, however I would insist on inserting my tongue into her navel (from the inside out)…

  44. Cowcat

    In response to libra’s challenge to name a celebrity who has done more for society than AJ whose good deeds aren’t shoved down our throats on a daily basis:

    Paul Newman.

    See? It can be done!

  45. Lesbianesque

    bitch…..uh huh, right after you everyone what it’s like to be a broke down tranny with a face like a lumpy bowl of cream of wheat and a body like a 200 lb combo of jello and cottage cheese

  46. JungleRed

    Looking at that picture makes me feel like a rodent hypnotized by a snake. I’d let her devour me as I screamed “take it all, baby!” She’s so freakin’ hot! Hey, AJ, I can spare 2 hours this week if you pick the hotel.

  47. ToiletDuck

    Tsk tsk – “man-hating dyke” alert….

  48. Lesbianesque

    #44, I guess as soon as AJ puts her fucking mug and name on a salad dressing bottle, and countless other products, and sells them in every grocery store in the counrty, she can be as annonymous as Paul Newman.


  49. no one you know

    $700 for a shower? And I bet she diapers baby Shiloh’s ass with fifties and wipes her with twenties, too.

  50. Lesbianesque

    47, I’m only a man hating dyke when it comes to biatcho

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