Angelina Jolie has beautiful arms

January 12th, 2007 // 278 Comments

If I ever have kids, I’m going to show them this picture of Angelina Jolie and tell them this is what’ll happen to them if they don’t eat their vegetables and drink their milk. I’ve seen bodybuilders with less ridiculous veins. If I wasn’t such a man of science I’d assume she was being invaded by some sort of parasitic blood alien. But no, the science just doesn’t add up. And damnit, without science we’re all just a bunch of animals. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to do some experiments in my laboratory. With test tubes.



  1. danielle



  2. Pointandlaugh

    OH MY GOD…….

    What….the……fuck… up with those HUUUGE creepy veins?

    definitive proof she is an alien.

    /alien sex…..mmmmm……

  3. jrzmommy

    Question that went to DanYELL’s response…….On which day of the month do you get your welfare check?

  4. steveperry

    heroin’s a hell of a drug.

  5. jesseeca

    good, now they match the ones in her forehead. those are some serious garden hoses.

  6. danielle

    I think Angie accidently showered with Brad’s “anti-aging” formula instead of actual soap.

    Hince the protruding veins. Ewwwww.

    Oh yeah,

    Jrz….go die.

  7. magickal

    I enjoy watching her become more hideous with each day. Maybe this is where karma will get her. Big veins, receding hairline, pussy pseudo-husband……

  8. HELLpenis

    are veiny arms and man-hands (and man-feet!) hereditary?

    I know a few people who are that skinny and they don’t have giant bulging veins like that.

    She looks disgusting! I really do hate her body. The veiny man limbs and those wretched tattoos…

    her face still looks good though, she has beautiful skin

  9. MrCrankyPants

    It looks like my penis!

    Only she should have an apple in her hand too!

  10. Chemicakitty

    Don’t forget the greying hair at the temples…

  11. It looks like my penis!

    Only she should have an apple in her hand too!

  12. misanthrope

    She’s so vain. (nerd laugh… huh huh huh)

  13. HELLpenis

    what receding hairline? If anything, she needs to wax a bit at her temples…but that’s nitpicking, lol

  14. freakflag

    You shouldn’t make her angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s ANGRYYY!!!

  15. HELLpenis

    I guess you retards have never heard of baby-hairs…not everyone has thick hair at their temples like a mexican or something…

    I guess you guys struck a nerve with me, lol. I don’t have a “receding hairline” and niether does Mangelina. Those are called baby hairs. Your exposure to women must be very limited or something? It’s not uncommon at all.

  16. heyheyhey

    someone please tell me that those arms are the work of a very talented photoshop artist…

  17. Tracy

    I’m sitting here flexing my arm to see if I can make my veins pop like that, but no luck. I wonder if it’s photoshopped, since it’s unlikely to occur in nature.

  18. Mae

    ah yes. people making fun and bagging down other people just to make yourself feel better. CLASSIC. Well I guess that is what we are here for… so I’ll share my piece… she is beautiful.. her veins are disgusting…. but she is a homewrecker.

  19. Delirium

    It’s funny how right you were. Except for the fact that the science doesn’t add up, since it does. It was in fact a blood parasite, namely her child. So if you ever did have kids, that would probably happen to you (no matter how many veggies you eat) since carrying a baby requires you to have more blood in your body (they’re hungry little bastards), which causes your veins to expand.

  20. HELLpenis

    that’s bullshit, she’s always had bulging veins, way before Shiloh; hell, way before Maddox!

  21. polypam

    Hmmm, so maybe those rumors about Angelina doing heroin again with Marilyn Manson are true after all.

  22. rockdust

    Seriously, does she have a medical condition that causes that? It’s going to look even worse as she gets older. Yuk!

  23. #6

    WTF are you talking about? An anti-aging formula that causes large veins?

    First rule of comedy–in order for a comment to be funny it must first make sense.

    It is no wonder that you are universally hated. And I do mean universally. I just received a call from Uranus. They hate you there, too.

    Thank you.

  24. HELLpenis

    I think it’s just genetic or something because her arms and hands looked like that in Girl Interrupted which was in 1999 and that was way before Shiloh or Maddox

  25. danwaterloo

    It’s not real. Look closer at her left arm. On the outside, it’s wavy, and very unnatural. A definite photoshop. I’m surprised nobody else has cought it.

  26. Mo

    Holy shit…seriously, is that picture for real? Is she mainlining Hostess Twinkie filling or something? I’m totally grossed out now.

  27. HELLpenis

    # 25 that could just be something in front of her arm.

    Even if it IS photoshopped, all they did was add a little shadow to the veins to make them stand out more. It’s not like the veins are photoshopped on. They were already there.

  28. heyheyhey

    damn good catch 25, i see it now…i knew it!

  29. misanthrope

    @19: I had more blood during pregnancy.. the weird blue lines, etc., but my veins didn’t stick out like that. Especially 7 months after birth. Even with breastfeeding, which i don’t think she’s doing. We’re all different, I’m sure that could be the reason for her appearance, but I’ve never seen the direct correlation.

  30. HELLpenis

    I mean it’s not like this is the first pic where we see how veiny she is. There are tons of pics out there which demonstrate this gross trait…this pic happens to be in our faces ATM.

  31. heyheyhey

    BUT now I am forced again to accept that she is more beautiful than I, in every way…fuck.

  32. danielle

    #23. Your point?

  33. misanthrope

    @25.. that’s a shadow of someone’s hand.

  34. HELLpenis

    the pregnancy excuse is bullshit so drop it. Her arms looked the same in 1999.

  35. jrzmommy

    photoshop or not, she’s a douche.

  36. HELLpenis

    #33 that’s what I thought too. I mean you can see the person’s fingers!

    Bet you don’t feel so smart now, Mr. “PHOTOSHOP!” accuser, lol

  37. ponk

    “FIRST”? good fucking god damnYell, we already knew you were a loser, we don’t need more convincing.

  38. Lowlands

    She got really a high blood-pressure i see.What has Brad done now again?

  39. HELLpenis

    Can we have ONE Superficial post, just ONE that doesn’t dissolve into pathetic infighting?

    on topic: never noticed that Jolie has a bit of an overbite!

  40. misanthrope

    @36… word. That would be an extremely poor use of Photoshop! ‘Er, whoa… had a seizure while accentuating a hand that is insignificant.’

  41. RichPort

    #1 – You are no longer allowed to be first, since you need to repeat whatever was said before you and being first, that would be mathematically impossible… like you adding 2 digit numbers without a calculator or pen. You need to stop letting Jrz nail you to the wall everytime… I mean every fucking time… I mean you’re waaaaaaay funnier than me, but still. It’s like watching a weed smoking chipmunk get mauled by a leopard.

  42. 86

    I would always wear sleeves.

  43. HELLpenis

    Right on schedule here comes RichPort to shit up the Superficial. I say again:

    Can we have JUST ONE POST that does not dissolve into PATHETIC infighting?

  44. Populist

    Since Brad Pitt insists on dyeing his hair the same color as Angie, looks like it’s time for him to break out the blue magic marker or chug some saltwater. Growing a mangina is going to take a while, though.

  45. Lowlands

    (41)That’s as simple as wan+one=1.

  46. danielle


    Fancy wording dear, now grab a crayon and jot down the rest of your resume…starting with head frycook at Taco Bell. Loser.


    Why do you trolls insist on following me through the fucking threads. Geesh. Leave me the fuck alone. Get a life, a job, get laid…anything. Pathetic twats.

    Your lame rebuttal’s are not only useless but they also confirm my theory that you’re a cock holding, shit for brains, mentally retarded asshole.

    Go roll up in your mother’s obese arms and die now.

  47. HELLpenis

    Ignore them Danielle. They make the superficial lame. You participating in their shit makes you lame too. So please just ignore them!

  48. RichPort

    #43 – But things seemed so, I don’t know, what’s the word I’m looking for… lame letting you handle the reins. I actually haven’t been on for a few days, but thanks for looking out for me. And aren’t you technically perpetuating what you purport to abhor? Fucking weird isn’t it? But if you insist:

    Angelina’s arm looks about as thick and veiny as my cock. And yes, my cock does have fingers, and a social security number too.

    By the way #34 is comic fucking gold.

  49. Edna Bambrick

    #48 Reported!

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