Angelina Jolie gains weight in the most awesome way

October 4th, 2007 // 110 Comments

Sometimes it’s nice to hear about celebrities doing something awesome. It gets kind of tiring hearing about the custody battles, drug addictions and whatnot. So here’s Angelina Jolie doing what I can only describe as some sort of miracle. Page Six reports:

Her emaciated stomach nearly ruined In Touch’s plans for this week’s cover: “Is Angelina Jolie pregnant?” To protect its story, the glossy bought exclusive rights to the shots of her taut torso “so no other weeklies could run them,” said an insider. In Touch claims Jolie gained 10 pounds in her chest, but conveniently cropped the photo above her flat stomach. “When Angelina showed up looking so skinny, they bought the photos,” our source said. The mag says, “The most striking area of Angelina’s weight gain is in her chest.”

How in the hell do you gain 10 pounds in your chest? That’s incredible. Seriously, Wonder Woman couldn’t even do that. No matter how many times I told her it would help me pay attention to her more. What? She tied me up with her Golden Lasso! That thing makes you tell the truth and, well, I like boobs. When a magical rope controls my speech, don’t be surprised if I say, “Hey, those could be bigger.” That’s just cause and effect, baby.


  1. melly


    WHY is Shiloh holding SCOTCH TAPE in the first picture? Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t scotch tape have a very sharp edge?

    Not cool at all.

  2. bint

    omg…binky…you are talking about the dancing Israelis!! Thank you…I’ve been telling people about the dancing Israelis for years and no one cares. There are so many connections between Israel/Mossad and 9/11, and no one wants to talk about it. Okay, well, I just remembered this is actually a message board on some entertainment site I only just found the other day. Ohwellit’sastart.

  3. Take a look at picture #1. If Angelina is such a good mom, why did she stick the baby’s pacifier up its ass instead of in its mouth?

  4. who cares?

    where are the fake kids?

  5. #53 Bint,
    Rock on.
    And #54 could be what they call a ‘shill’ I guess.
    I don’t think they’ll be back – although the gay guy pic thing was ‘really clever’
    ….9-11 was an inside job

  6. And Scott Pelley on Sixty Minutes says Bruce Springstein isn’t a patriot for not cheering for the war in Iraq.
    Welcome to America

  7. Say Scotty. Maybe click the link.
    There seems to have been a group who had cameras set up filming 9-11 – before the attack !
    Obviously a good guess….. for a photo contest ? … …. …
    (Could be a scoop there Scotty)

  8. “The FBI seized and developed their photos, one of which shows Sivan Kurzberg flicking a cigarette lighter in front of the smouldering ruins in an apparently celebratory gesture.”

  9. rita

    I also agree that Suri is waaaaaay cuter and Angelina was right, the kid does look like a blob.

  10. Yeah …right ,,,
    so Rita # 60 ?
    9-11 Inside job ?

  11. (these people will never learn)

  12. Bu

    The Pitt-Jolie kid looks excactly like Jon Voight….too funny


    Seriuosly guys. Picking on a bub cos she looks like a baby is overboard. Anyway, she is going to be one stunner as she grows out of the baby phase.

    Shiloh looks exactly like my youngest cousin when she was a bub. Big eyes, big lips, cute nose. Not the ‘prettiest’ baby just a cute chubby baby… but as she got older 4 onwards she grew into those amazing perfect features. Going on holidays when she was 9 onwards, and strangers at airports and everywhere oooohed and ahhhhed over her. It was obvious she got attention because she was so darn cute. She’s in her teens and stunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnninng. But that was always a given.

    I see how Shiloh is going to blossom into her looks. Give her a couple of years.

  14. Rachel

    Sometimes it still amazes me how breathtakingly beautiful that woman is.

  15. JagedNS

    hehe my kid has the same type of shoes as their baby. They’re called Robeez. Cute kid too….big ass lips hehehe

  16. Buddy Holly

    Jolie’s lips are fucking gross. Her poor kid looks like a freak with that fucked up mouth.

  17. Shiloh Pitt. Pile O' Shit.

    Having sex with Angelina Jolie must be like having sex with Jon Voight in a wig.

  18. Love them CACK sucking lips.

  19. Patty Crabapple

    Brad Pitt looks like he wants to be anywhere else but there. Of course he’ll be with his daughter, only sans Skeletor.

    She knows what she is and has done. That’s why she’s such an “ambassador;” she’s trying to balance out her whore, bullshit, man-eating, girl stabbing, ways by trying to save the world. Geminis are like that….

    And Pitt, well, he finally needs to grow a pair and grow up.

  20. the kid is cute

    the kid is cute. people just like to throw around the term down syndrome. people said it about britney’s kids ( they actually look more fetal alcohol syndrome to me , mainly the last one ). this kid doesn’t have the right eyes for down syndrome, her eyes look bright and intelligent to me. VERY pretty.

    he was right to have a baby with angelina.
    his baby with jen could have looked like peppermin patty.

  21. uuuh UGLY WHAT???

    #12 – shut up chinnifer fugiston, YOU are ugly. that baby is gorgeous and looks like the gerber baby.

    p.s chinnifer – dustin hoffman is your daddy. you are not greek you are jewish.

  22. lab

    It’s not scientifically possible for her to have gained 10 pounds, all in her chest.
    Female breast weight on average accounts for only 3.5% of total fat weight. So in order for her to gain 10 pounds in her breasts, she’d be gaining 280 pounds everywhere else!

  23. my comment

    She looks miserable as a mother. Grim and frowning.

  24. #74, maybe she’s just sick of always getting mobbed by photogs. Although, the camera adds 10 lbs…you would think she would appreciate that…

  25. Not in your breasts though…

    New post yet?

  26. uuuh

    shut the fuck up 74, you don’t know her you tard. yes obviously she hates kids, thats why shes trying to have so many.
    she doesn’t like having her pic taken with the kids ALLLL the time
    i’ve seen her smiling in pics too

  27. shiloh is hotter

    shiloh looks like a beautiful angel, baby model
    suri looks like a chinese tom cruise

  28. lizl


  29. BAM

    that was probably the worst and least comprehensive thing i’ve ever read. what the crap are they even talking about?did they weigh her boobs?

    that baby is pretty cute, and i hate kids.

  30. People here are just jealous because she has great tits, a beautiful baby and is married to brad Pitt.

  31. PunkA

    Ganied 10 pounds in her chest? Huh? Did she get rock implants? In Touch sounds really stupid with that one. Talk about ridiculous.

  32. BAM

    81, when did they get married? wow i must have missed that media frenzy.

  33. 2 Words - Padded Bra

    2 Words – Padded Bra

  34. Cali Kitten

    That little girl is absolutely darling!

  35. Who cares

    I agree that Angelina should gain weight to look healthier and more beautiful, but please, stop attacking her. She has made mistakes, just as we all have make mistakes, or is anyone a saint here?
    But she is really trying hard to do right things, she really is, her actions are the example. Haven’t you heard Jesuschrist? He said that even the “whores” would first get into the holy kingdom than the hypocrites that appears to be good, but in fact they are worse than other siners… Angelina is been doing the best she can… she is making a great effort.. and that is the most important. If you were really good persons you should support people who tries to correct things, instead of showing hate.

  36. WTF?

    Blinky ~ I clicked on the link to find out more of what you are talking about in regards to 9-11 being an inside job.

    Wow! You have done a lot of research on the subject. I was wondering where you found the information regarding the van & 5 suspects. I don’t recall hearing anything in the media about that!

    The one thing that led me to believe that the US atleast knew about 9-11 is when I learned that BinLaden’s family and the President of the United States (good ‘ol G dubya) were the only ones in the air when all other planes in the US were grounded. I can understand the President, but BinLaden’s family? OMG!

  37. eastcoastgirl

    Shiloh is a cute baby. They just need to dress her better and wash her face! She looks like they haven’t bathed her in a week.

  38. Shallow Val

    88- all babies are dirty, all the time. She needs to carry wipes in her pocket.

    81 – you’re a fucking 14-year old idiot. You definitely live up to your moniker. (D’ya know what that means, sweetie?)

    83- nice come-back!

    86 – Who Cares – Methinks you care too much.

  39. George

    When I was a kid, monsters and scary skeletons that looked just like her would hide under my bed at night. She is really creeping me out!

  40. laura

    10 pounds in the breasts? HAHAHAHAH.

    I have really big chest and TOGETHER my breasts weigh about 8 lbs. If she’d put on 10 lbs in her breasts they’d be way bigger than mine — a volume of more than a half-gallon each. Her breasts sure don’t look like half-gallon breasts to me….

  41. ssdd

    I love how the natural sunlight shows what she REally looks like.. LOL ..
    the main pic as is #4 shows her boney face.. pale skin tone, receding hairline, sunken eye pockets and dry cracky lips.. what an UGLY FUCKING WHORE!!!!!!!!!…HOWEverrr what’s even more ugly her personality, her manipulative ways, her whoreness lifestyle, her holy-than-thou attitude toward society, her promotion of self worth by adopting kids, and constantly sticking her nose in world affairs that really don’t need her.
    And this child she is holding …… has a forehead the size of its entire face from the eyes to the chin. I think its a goddamn shame this baby inherited from her that ginormous alien receptor nasty forehead.
    Fuck the hell off self-consumed cum guzzling bitch.

    Alrighty then .. see you all Monday

  42. sheena

    her kid and anna nicoles kid
    have the same DUH look
    hmmm them drugs worth it hey angie
    LOser hoe HAHAHAHA

  43. Ariel

    !!!she TAPED the pacifier to her kids mouth before the cammeras showed up

    pooooooor angie looking like a miserable hag mother
    that kids gonna be strange did you ever see her father?
    and she thatkid late in life sounds like downssyndrome

  44. bint

    #87…there was nothing in the MSM about the Dancing Israelis because they are ISRAELIS. The information has been out there for quite a while, actually. The owner of the moving company, Dominik Suter, fled to Israel shortly after 9/11. Google “Dancing Israelis”…there is a lot more out there about this.

  45. Shes too slim… i like her body in her movie tomb raider,,, not fat,, but absolutely sexy!

  46. Jessica

    I like that Zahara gets a designer bag and Shiloh gets to play with tape. I’m not saying anything I’m just sayin’.

  47. eastcoastgirl

    @97 Good point.

  48. BIG G

    Which brest is there? Where’s the body? All I see is skeleton, with veins all over her body, I know Brad is tired of the skinny ass Angelina has. Yes, good moms fuck married men so they can lure the guy home to be a daddy to her pretend kids. Good moms pimp out their collection of kids for staged photos, good moms do heroin & drink gallons of wine & starve their bodies to provide their fetus with a toxic waste pool to develop in, good moms tell their kids they have only fucked 4 men & married two but forgot to tell how many pusses she has licked. Angelina, Hollywood types are never humanitarians so stop pimping your nose where you do not belong because we all know you are a HOLLYWOOD WHORE. You look miserable though you try to play a HARD ASS. Who would love this overrated piece of crap? you are an actress not a FUCKING POLITICAN. What a fucking ugly Whore Angelina thy name.

  49. she’s awful not awesome mind your vocabulary.

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