Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt are still together

Despite the fact rumors about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie breaking up happen every nanosecond, the Internet took a collective piss in its pants Saturday night when News of the World reported the couple were drawing up custody agreements for their kids. Their rep has confirmed to JustJared that these reports are, of course, “total b.s.”

Folks, here’s the bottom line: When Brad and Angelina finally realize she’s eventually going to murder them both, you’ll know about it when they fire multi-ethnic children out of a Gatling gun to sing the news in your living room. Trust me.

Photos: Getty