Angelina Jolie banged Mick Jagger

March 5th, 2010 // 106 Comments

Pretty much what I just said in the headline, but with more words. Via the Daily Mail:

It is alleged the pair first had a brief fling after she starred in the video for the Rolling Stones’ 1997 song Anybody Seen My Baby?, while she was still married to British actor Jonny Lee Miller.
And it is claimed they enjoyed a second affair six years later in 2003, while the womanising rocker was with his latest lover L’Wren Scott. On this occasion it is claimed the two were seen going back to Jagger’s room at the Oriental hotel in Bangkok, Thailand.

Oh, well, if they were in Thailand, then they were definitely fucking because, seriously, that’s the only reason to even go to Thailand. Rush Limbaugh and a coven of young boys know what I’m talking about. In the meantime, these allegations are from a new tell-all book which also claims Angelina was cheating on Brad Pitt when they first met:

Paul also claims that Angelina was sleeping with Hollywood star Ralph Fiennes and ex-husband Miller when she met Brad Pitt in 2004.
She also says that Jolie was dating Irish actor Colin Farrell, 33, for four months after meeting him on the set of 2004 film, Alexander.

So basically Angelina Jolie is the white Tiger Woods, but with a vagina. At this point, I could claim I had sex with her during her hot years, and mathematically, you’d have no choice but to believe me. Because it’s true and now I know what it means to hear dolphins cry. Or whatever nonsensical saying that translates to me caressing a boob.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Anon

    The rolling stone bit I beleive but all the other bits of cheating with Brad I say is bull.

  2. Anon

    Cheating on Brad and believe.
    Just correcting my mistakes… which is something she might need to do.

    If it was true.

  3. Eh, I wouldn’t be surprised. She’s a prime example of an attractive women with low self esteem. She comes across as a headcase.

  4. Randal

    I don’t by any of it. Angelia is a well respected actor who does not need to stoop to this level. Certainly false reporting here.

    Randal

  5. Nicole

    Yeah I believe the Mick Jagger bit, I’d bang Mick Jagger. And didn’t her and Brad have some crazy sexy orgy, they are both probably banging other people.

  6. joss

    White tiger woods? You’re comparing Mick Jagger to Woods’ skanks? I don’t think so.

  7. Julia

    it’s hollywood, of course they are banging, orgies, their kids, Woody Allen, all kinds of shit..

    why the fuck would they be having boring people sex..

  8. Ida

    This person “Jenny Paul” is writing a book about two celebrities to seek fame for herself. I would only trust these allegations if they came from the mouths of them. Complete BS. I don’t understand why people keep attacking Jolie. Why do people keep saying she stole Brad Pitt? Has anyone ever thought that it takes two to tango? Jeez people.

  9. Eric

    I know you are all about snarky comments, and while I’m not a fan of Rush Limbaugh, calling the guy a child molester is NOT snarky, its called libel.

  10. Anon

    Exactly #8
    It always takes two so Jennifer Aniston should shoulder some of the blame as well.

  11. small asian penis

    I’d hump both of them.

  12. abby

    More importantly, Jennifer Aniston is way too old to be playing the roles she does, her new movie looks pathetic.

  13. whatthe

    Damn, Mangelina is not aging well. Even with all that make-up caked on her face you can see those creases etched in deep at the sides of her mouth. I have a sister who is the same age as her and I’m only 3 years younger, and we both look at least 10 years younger than this psycho slut.

  14. Brooklyn's Rough'est

    Ugh! Thank god for religion and words like ‘low self esteem’ to keep women in their place. Can you imagine if every woman was this sexual…

  15. jim

    damn, she looks like shes in her forties.

  16. m.

    So i mean if a man and a woman are in the hotel room together they must bang?! Is this some kind of new rule? I belive he banged her in 1997 because Angelina was almost nobody. If you are superstar and can pick a chick for your new video wouldn’t you arrange little “audition” before it?!

  17. nancyanny

    not discounting elaborately laid jokes (this includes both all the laughs i got out of this and that mick and angelina might just be the same person so having sex w/ each other is kind of a paradox and redundant at the same time), but I think the only thing i believe about this post is rush limbaugh and the bevy of pre-teen boys.

  18. medi0169

    I find it revolting that that fucking mummy of a man, put his dick in Ms. Jolie.

  19. rb

    Aniston is six years older than this hag, and seems to be aging better IMO.

  20. Stu Gavin

    She does look older but I think she looks hot, older women are sexy especially if they look elegant the way Jolie does here.

  21. datroof

    She was originally going to be in HEAT, but Al Pacino couldn’t keep a straight face when he had to say “BECAUSE SHE’S GOT A GREAT ASS”, so they cast Ashley Judd instead.

    Face of a sex goddess. But her ass is pancake flat. I’m guessing Brad fantasizes about Jennifer when he does Angelina from behind.

  22. bob

    Fuck off for the Rush comment.

  23. Name

    I laughed at the Rush comment because it’s true.

  24. Tom

    as ever its from the daily hate mail it doesnt count as news

  25. All fish said was Rush shares his hotel room with a coven of young boys, you folks who immediately think of child molestation are the ones who should fuck off. Maybe fish was merely commenting on the generous nature of Mr. Limbaugh to let some less fortunate youths spend a night in his warm embrace, whilst enjoying a night without the constant reminder of their misery and pain. (read: rohypnol, oxycontin and lube)

  26. misterfister

    They must’ve looked like two skeletons intertwined. Disgusting.

  27. Sammy

    TO #10 Anon and 12 Abby, This story has nothing to do with Jennifer Aniston. I know you like to blame her for all the Bad Stories about Angie, but this rumor has been around for years, long before Brad even knew or cared who Angie was. If you are a Angie Fan, then go ahead and defend her, but you get no points for bashing Jennifer on this one. You can do better.

  28. rb

    LOL at #26, two FISH-LIPPED skeletons intertwining.

  29. Anon

    TO #27 Sammy, I was joking. Someone said it takes two and obviously the other is the person who cheated and not the one cheated on so please don’t include me in your defense of Aniston or attack of Jolie as I’m not sure which it is. I don’t care for all 3 of them but wouldn’t blame the vapid frigid insecure mess that is Aniston. Get a sense of humour as you can do better.

  30. belle aires

    Is anybody surprised?

  31. asdf

    she bang cock in bangkok.

    unsurprising

  32. Umama

    Mangie has had too much surgery on her face. She claims to be 34, she looks late 40′s. I guess she had it coming to her.

  33. jackie katz

    That’s the best you could do? Really? Anywhere you could squeeze in a Rush LImbaugh joke….it wasn’t even funny. Your liberal true colors are showing, Superficial…..and it is at the sacrifice of what used to be considered your humor. Now you’re not even funny anymore, you’re just pathetic.

  34. Freddo

    Thank you for this post.

    Sometimes, in the midst of all the stories about the saintliness and do-gooding of Angie, it can be easy to forget that she’s a fucking whore.

  35. Jen

    The woman is a skanky hosebag and her kids should be taken from her.

  36. Hey Mickey!

    I don’t get it, is banging Mick Jagger supposed to be some sort of an accomplishment? He looks like an ugly Filipino to me.

  37. sonya

    Shady Skankalina and that plucked chicken Jagger banging….puuuke

  38. Does this mean Angelina’s also sexual napalm?

    Except without the cow eyes & pea-sized brain like Jessicunt Simpson?

  39. Topher

    It takes a really screwed up and sick person to accuse anyone of Child molestation. No one’s politics is that bad. But, to have a website and do it where (1000s) of people and POST that accusation, you have to be a total fucking retard. Art Bell totally destroyed the guy, his business and his family that did that to him. And Art was an easy going guy. …good luck.

  40. Jimmy

    Can you bring back the funny writer, not this whiney left wing bitch.

  41. buddha bing

    Rush could buy Thailand if he wanted. Somebody’s jealous…

  42. Stu Gavin

    To #41, and if Limbaugh bought Thailand he’d have plenty of young ladyboys to have sex with.

    Face it, Limbaugh is a closeted pederast.

  43. whatthe

    LOL, I had no idea so many Rush Limbaugh fans read this site. Now I’m kind of disturbed.
    Question for you Rush fanboys: how can you take him seriously? He’s the epitome of hypocrisy; dissing people for their supposed drug use when he abuses Oxycontin. Talk about irony.

  44. Rasputins Liver

    *

    Love The Stones, man. Great band. And Jagger with Richards, aka The Glimmer Twins, were Rock ‘n’ Roll Dark Side’s Lennon & McCartney for song writing and musical prowess and performance.

    *

    But if I were a woman (or even the man I am, knowing that Jagger’s apparently played on The Other Team as well) there is no way in hell I’d let that ugly skeeze bang me or make me suck his Li’l Mick and swallow his penis snot.

    *

    Neither when he was young middle age or as a geezer now (Jagger as Rock /n/ Roll’s hugh Hefner?) would his short assed butt-fuckin ugly carcass come near me. Jagger’d fuck anything that appeared alive I think.

    *

  45. ppl

    beautiful Madonna cancer face.

  46. Kay

    She looks late 30s to me…I think its because her face is kinda gaunt. If she put on more weight she’d look her age more. She is as always though, a very beautiful woman.

  47. Hi,
    Angelia is a well respected actor who does not need to stoop to this level. Certainly false reporting here.

  48. Really, i can’t imagine those 2 together. her is aging so bad and this pictures shows it all. her skin is sagging, if she gained 10 pounds it will fill out her face.

  49. wizeguy

    if ya’ll think that walkin’ skeleton with lumberjack jaw & pumpkin head is ‘HOT’
    ya’ll better’ get an eye exam ..
    this gotta be the most over-rated freak in hollywierd ..
    the ‘self-important’ expression has me rollin’ with laughter ..
    and now ..
    THAT wig !!!?????
    IS SHE KIDDIN’?????
    UGGGGHHHHH!!!! ….LMFAO

  50. hello

    hello

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