Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will never stop having kids

September 4th, 2007 // 94 Comments

  1. jrzmommy

    HAHAHA Baby!!!!

  2. Britney's Nappy Weave

    I know I for one am not jealous of these two. I do think it’s stupid that they go halfway around the world to adopt all these kids when there are plenty of poor minority kids in this country to be adopted. It’s sad really that they choose to go outside of the U.S. when so many need help right here.

    As a side note, Brad Pitt was at his absolute hottest in Legends of the Fall. Hmmm Mmmmm….. Yum!

  3. somewhereinthemiddle

    They collect 3rd world children like pokemon, shit they even name them like pokemon. I am voting for Afradurdle as the next kid’s name.

    I think after a few more they will have to switch to the Duodecimal system. “This is our son, 37682.569. I think he likes baseball. But that is enough about him let me tell you about the political climate of the country we adopted him from.”

  4. Italian Stallion

    Maybe this time they’ll get a mexican……….

  5. PrettyBaby

    #53 HAHAHAHA
    Hmmmm… I like Jigglypuff or Squirtle or possibly Charmander!

  6. PrettyBaby

    #54 Well, good idea…SOMEONE needs to do some cooking around there… by the looks of Angie, she could use some refried beans and cheese.

  7. If making babies is a pain in the ass, they might be doing it wrong… though I always figured Devilina was the giver.

  8. Long like my legs

    Oh for the love of sanity just because you can physically eat 2 gallons of ice cream doesn’t mean you should or that it’s healthy. Seriously now just because they can adopt a fifth child that doesn’t mean it’s healthy or rational or reasonable. Does no one understand the concept of balance theses days. Most idiots can only live their life in extremes and it’s pathetically unhealthy. A relationship does require TLC and some alone time and think about it they aren’t even having the fun of trying to make children they’re skipping the best part and just going out and buying them. Angie said in an interview that she and Brad plan on having alone time when the kids are grown. Sorrry lady it doesn’t work that way you’ll be strangers by then who hate each other and the last thing you will want is time together. A relationship needs constant input time and care you can’t just put it on hold because then your feelings will change.
    Why in the fuck do you think that so many couple who have kids before or right away in their marriage break up; cause mommy and daddy had no fucking alone time to build a foundation. In this case it’s even worse Brad went from the shackles of mariages with Jen right into this insane parent trap with no breathing time in between. Few men are strong enough to handle that and not run and this douche is not strong, he’s a wimpy little bitch. Man Momma Pitt must be a piece of work.

    Brad has no identity of his own, like my Mom who changed religions for each new man. God I loath those that have no true sense of self. Look at this man in back his Jen days his, Gwenyth days back with Jewliette lewis and now. Brad morphs with each woman. We will adapt to people but the douch is fucking relationship transformer; Optimus Past Prime. He’s the type of looser who still says he needs to find himself at the age of 40. For fucks sake you shallow gas bag their ain’t nothing to find if you haven’t found it by now you empty retard.
    If you’ve ever heard Brad speak you would know that he is a highly unintelligent simple little man who lets the woman wear the pants when he could really be out there having the time of his life since sadly many loser women find him attractive. The man is supreme douch and even in my single days I thought he was a butt fucking ugly little panzie bitch.

    As For Veingelina Bony she’s a lunatic skank who finds herself far more fascinating then she truely is. I love how women especially just love her with no sense of pride and why becasue she’s hot or used to be before she decided she didn’t like eating food. I mean who the fuck cares so someone’s good looking big fucking deal it’s like all these fucking uggo inner lesbies lose all perspective. She would fuck your husband right in front of you and then lick your tears and laught in your face and then slit your throat with one of her bedroom knives. ( obviously some of you freak shows would enjoy that) But the rest of you have a little respect and stop worshipping some scuz hag just beacuse she has big lips and pretty eyes or some shit. I mean have you never seen a pretty girl before? Jesus. I’m not saying a man is posession who can be stolen. I’m saying if you worship this whore you are a fucking shallow moron.
    If any of you ever meet some other pretty girls maybe you’ll finally calm the fuck down and be able to wipe that drool away. And if you ever meet some intelligent hard working people who don’t just talk the talk but actually walk the walk and really work heart and soul to help world poverty then maybe you’ll finally have someone worthwhile and deserving to look up to. I pity anyone who thinks these hypocrits are as good as it gets

  9. zzlzlzlzlzlzlzl

    #58: you lost any kind of credibility when you said “looser” instead of “loser”.

  10. zzlzlzlzlzlzlzl

    and that female should start eating.

  11. yourang


    *tumbleweed rolls by*

  12. Long like my legs

    That’s okay I have no credibilty anyway. Plus I don’t like reading so it’s hard to spell check but, of course I expect everyone else to read my giant rant start to finish and then correct my spelling for me. So thanks… Loser!

  13. Shallow Val

    58 – Long

    I love you. In a world of sycophants and sadness, (I just found out my temp job is ending on friday and I have to move that day too) it just brightened my day to see your post. I’m trying to work hard too, I don’t and never have loved Brad Pitt, have made the same observations about him and his past girls, and I just loved your post. Its refreshing to know not all of us are robots.

    I know it’s not kosher, but thanks for the heavy duty dose of reality you so succinctly posted.

  14. zzlzlzlzlzlzlzl

    Mr. Pitt is very hot compared to all those skeletons.
    And i’m a male.

  15. Long like my legs

    #61. So my rant was really long eh? Is that what you were trying to illustrate. Well thank you I certainly would not have picked up on that fact without your original and totally unique imagery.

    My rant was irritatingly long even for me and I pity those who have to deal with it. Just like when I take a giant dump in a public toilet and clog that shit bowl up with all my stinky butt porridge. But what’s important is that I got it all out of my system and now I feel much better. I mean that’s what really matters in the end.

    So how did you like my imagery?
    And there’s plenty more where that came from so don’t any of you be shy.

  16. Freddykins

    #58: Seriously, did Angelina Jolie make you rape your dog or mom or something? You seem to be very emotionally invested in this.

  17. Long like my legs

    #63. Thank you Shallow Val I just read your post now and loved it. Very funny and true, I must say. In fact I always seem to agree with your post which is weird but comforting. It’s good to know that someone else has a brain and a sense of reality. I just cannot stand the worshipping of these two stoodges and it always bugged me that Brad kinda got of scotch free while the women took the fall as the boring nagging wife and the evil temptress homewrecker, I mean what a bunch of outdated bullshit. I’m glad someone feels the same way because sometimes it’s about more than just an opinion; it’s about morals and values, which sadly few seem to have these days.

    Thanks and take care

  18. Long like my legs

    #66. Actually she did. It was pretty awful. It was after her knife phase and before her baby collecting phase. Oh god I can still hear her vicious taunting screams: “whose you’re daddy now Bitch? “And I was like “are you talking to me or the dog?” Bad times, bad times…. but, I’m ok now thank you for your concern.

  19. Icky Poo

    #58 Love you, love you , love you. You said it all and said it well. Write on, baby.

  20. Shallow Val

    68 – Yer Wekkum! Keep em coming.

    I used to love reading the posts about 2 years ago when everyone was saying “Fuck that lemonheaded, potatoe-nosed bitch Jennifer Aniston; he’s with Angelina Joleeeeee now!” or “Jolie is so much prettier that Aniston” and now it all about “Ewww, she’s such a skank” “Ewww, she’s so skinny.” Aniston STILL has a smoking body, BTW.

    Where are all your loyalties now you fucking flip-floppers!!!???

    (I’m just talking to the flip-floppers, not my FISH buddies, of which I only have about 6-7)

    I miss PapaHotNuts.

  21. Angelina Jolie is pure evil, and I find the tattoo “know your rights” rather suspicious. It is as if she is trying to tell us humans something.

  22. Long like my legs

    #70.Thanks Val.
    I used to get my panties in a right crazy bunch when people made fun of my posts and disagreed with me (back when I first started writing on blogs) but now I just don’t give a fuck, it’s much more fun when I don’t it too seriously.

  23. Long like my legs


  24. Shallow Val

    72 Word

    I used to get mad, can you believe it. Now I just loff and loff at the people that get mad at the other posters.

    SPecially the bleeding hearts who say “Awwww, they look so cuuuuute” or “Y’all are jus jealuz” (spelled wrong on purpose)

  25. tina


  26. wedgeone

    Brangelina like playing “People Poker”. Pairs, three-of-a-kind, etc. until they end up with a Full House.

  27. Dear Angelina;

    Quit taking other peoples babies, have your own!

  28. MMMSimmons

    jrzmommy: you are so disgusting you make people around you sick.

  29. Frick!

    I had some respect for what they were doing before, but now this whole “child collecting” thing does seem to be getting out of hand. I mean, if you have to hire 4 nannies, whats the point? Why not just donate money to the countries these kids came from so they can care for the child and let it grow up where it can be close to its culture and its blood relatives. Don’t get it. And I really feel sorry for Shiloh. Here Angelina hates her dad because she felt like an orphan growing up; she’s kind of treating Shiloh the same way.

  30. ass

    Let them adopt or else they might start stealing babies at night. Angelina needs them for her witchcraft ceremonies but who cares? Those are foreign babies anyway.

  31. not fooled

    so who is this new writer that has been busy being not funny on the superficial for the last week????

  32. Freddykins

    Long like my loogies, omg, my heart breaks for you. Do you want a cookie or for me to foot your therapy bills? I will.

  33. GG1000

    Their thing with the kids must be kind of like boarding horses – they’ve got someone to do all the heavy feeding and currying and mucking out, then they just give them a treat now and again and flip for who’s got “daily photo op” duty with which kid.

    By the way, are they like, using the same L’oreal? Their hair is the EXACT same color.

  34. frenchie



    That’s awesome…too controversial though. It wouldn’t be a guaranteed carrier advancement move. Then again… all our political parties seem to be pro amnesty these days.

    She really looks like a creature. He looks tired…like the sex appeal , life line (whatever you may call it) is being sucked right out of him.

  35. AmeriCanadian

    @ #32 LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Most Hilarious Comment Ever!

  36. J. Anniston

    But she tongue-kisses her brother in public!

    And, like it or not, Brad is a fairy and an inchworm. Trust me!

    In a few years we’ll watch as the dysfunctional family known as the Pitts (how appropriate) falls apart and fills up an entire psych ward.

    White trash with money!



  38. Long like my legs

    #82. Mmmmmmm COOKIE. Wait… what kind of cookies? I like peanut butter and chocolate chip. But unfortunately you are a stranger so I cannot accept them. But you can definitely pay for my therapy sessions, which of course take place in Hawaii on the beach.

    Well thanks for the compassion. But my heart breaks for anyone who takes the drivel we onload here so fucking seriously.

  39. P.T.Bull

    Those tatoos look really cheap. Kind of breaks up the lines of the back and gown. “Know your rights” on the back of her neck? Is that some kind of warning for guys while they ride the back side? Maybe she should have a short novel put on her back so they can read it if they get bored.

    ‘Course, those tats are the essence of elegance compared to wino’s.

  40. Lobsterboy

    I’m not reading a bunch of lame comments to see if this has already been covered… if it has fine, if not, here we go:

    I think it’s icky that they’re sharing the same bottle of hair dye.

    There. I said it. Otherwise, I reiterated it.

    Take yer pick.

  41. Lemmy Caution

    I’m not reading a bunch of lame comments to see if this has already been covered… if it has fine, if not, here we go:

    I think it’s icky that they’re sharing the same bottle of hair dye.

    There. I said it. Otherwise, I reiterated it.

    Take yer pick.

  42. jensen

    The Duggars!

  43. ricky

    how can brad possibly have more kids with this woman? according to the latest Life&Style mag, angie is so insecure that she’s practically forcing brad to leave her. brad still talks to jen and angie can’t handle that.

  44. Jen

    I have to agree with #58. You guys are just pissed because you know he/she is right. The only reason people make such a big deal over Angie is because she is very beautiful. If she was the same person, but looked ordinary like katie couric or rosie o’donnell , and did all that charity work, people wouldn’t even blink an eye. I do admire her work, but let’s face it…the woman is a real nutcase. I think Brad is thinking right now, “what the hell did I get myself into?
    ” He will never leave her, he is trapped because off those kids, I am happy he got exactly what he wanted, welcome to hell Brad!

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