Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will have a Namibian baby

April 17th, 2006 // 177 Comments

The local governor of Namibia claims Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt told him they will have their baby in Namibia and have considered giving it a Namibian name.

I don’t want to sound ignorant, but I have absolutely no idea where Namibia is or what their names are like. In fact, up until three minutes ago when I read the article I didn’t even know that Namibia was a real place. They could’ve called it Narnia and I wouldn’t have known the difference. I’m just hoping Africa lives up to my stereotypes and traditional Namibian names consist of clicks and whistles.



  1. Marceelf

    The perfect black name for their baby is Oprah. You will know it fit’s when the kid is wrapped in Pratesi swaddling sheets. And the lips fit.

  2. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    You guys are so racist. I have a black friend, so I understand the black man’s struggle. My friend has even accepted me into her inner circle, where sometimes I feel a little out of place what with all the “flat ass” jokes and how they are always sending me to the store for something. But I figure if I smoke enough Newports and eat enough chicken they might stop laughing at me when they tell me to crip-walk (I’ve been practicing for two weeks!). Seriously, guys, it would do you some good to expand your friendships and and your minds, even if it means you’re volunteered for threesomes at random times without your consent. Racism ain’t what it do.

  3. Jacq

    They’re having the baby in “Namibia” because that is the only place where you can register for a Coke bottle. Anyone? “Gods Must be Crazy?” *crickets*
    #101 – LOL – I think I love you – and oshkosh and Stallion. You are all my new reason for living.

  4. kitty_kat

    Actually, I’m already in university… so I won’t be needing that.
    Were you serious in your posting? Because if you weren’t then I apologize. Sarcasm isn’t very communicable in a written form…

  5. jugsgirl

    damn good mediating, kitty-kat is beggin for mercy!

  6. kitty_kat

    I won’t be needing the Valium, but that jello wrestle sounds pretty good ;)

  7. biatcho

    Shit, when I was in col, I mean university, I would have taken 5 bucks quicker than a whore on speed. Do you know how many dollar drafts 5 bucks can get you in col, damn it, university?? Anyone who lives in NYC head on over to Monday Night Dollar drafts at (shit I can’t name it on here or I’ll get sued) the place on West 3rd in the village… drinks are on Kitty Kat since she’s loaded.

  8. tumescence enthusiast

    So Angie is having her baby in Namibia cause that’s where she took custody of her son, and the girl was born in ethiopia. She wants the kids to have a connection to the same continent, giving them a sense of commonality, yeah right, one kid is asian, one is black the other is gonna be white. Will take more than that i think. Maybe they should move there, but then it’s the good ole US of A that makes them zillionaires. I’ll bet she has Brad’s nuts in a pouch hanging round her neck instead of Billy Bob’s blood, cause i dont think Brad has them dangling on him anymore.

  9. biatcho

    oh those curious university girls… they’ll do anything if it makes a guy’s dick hard!

  10. Ez-EEEE

    ill take the valium. by the truckload if possible.
    and heres a hint for all the future kids:
    if its on the superficial, its more than likely sarcastic.
    silly sluts.

  11. PapaHotNuts

    “Actually, I’m already in university..”

    Are you a robot? Why do you talk like a robot?

    Maybe you’re Asian, which is cool because “I’m already in Asian Massage Parlor. I already order number 11 off menu, called Chinese Nut Scrub”. I need towel now.

  12. CheekyChops

    Kunta Kinte Pitt
    Nice ring to it.

  13. Jacq

    I’m still confused as to where Nambia is exactly. During my time in the bush, I only visited Punanny, Kumbaya, Orgasmia, Vagnia and Vajay-jay.

    I hate it when people from Europe/Africa say “in university” or “on holiday.” Sounds so fucking condescending.

  14. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    114 – No, no, my friend. It means she’s British, and therefore has creamcheese skin, jagged brown teeth, a bad sense of humor, and smells like rotting gopher ass. Excuse me, “smells of rotten gopher arse.” Hey kitty_kat say “arse” for us one time.
    Racism is awesome.

  15. Ez-EEEE

    well while i was on holiday from university once, i went to the states. and i saw a bunch of fat americans and i laughed and laughed at them and said to myself “oh you are so much better than these nasty yanks”
    then i went back to my flat with a box of fish and chips and a kebab from the take away and they all spilled out in the lift. i guess they picked up something nasty off the floor of the lift cuz i ate them anyway but i was in the loo for days after shatting my brains out.

    condescend that bishes.

  16. biatcho

    And for the record, I’m not a racist. I hate everyone equally.

  17. tumescence enthusiast

    Not that anyone gives a shit, but i meant to say Africa instead of Namibia in #111.

  18. kitty_kat

    #114& #117-
    Wrong and wrong! I’m not Asian and I’m not British. Its just that where I’m from we call 4-year institutions “universities” and 2-year institutions “colleges”. And I think (but I’m not sure) that’s the case pretty much everywhere outside of the US.
    And Oshkosh, even if I were Brit and you asked me to say “arse” (lmao @ that by the way), it still wouldn’t be racism because British isn’t a race.

  19. kitty_kat

    How on Earth does saying university sound condescending? Its not like I was trying to be.

  20. L~Money

    kit-kat, i mean hershey.. i mean.. whatever your name is… you should take the trip with perfume boy and passport lady and find yourself some comical form of being.. or go back to the “university” forum and educate the ignorant bastards on non racial activities, cuz you’re preachin to the wrong croud here sister….

  21. asenath7766

    I can’t stand that smug look she always has. She’s just fucking annoying.

  22. LittleWatson

    I’m curious now…KittyKat, where are you from?

  23. mamadough

    i think angie is a succubus (and i don’t give a shit how it’s spelled!). she’s slowly eating his jelly-like life-force of sexiness and once she’s done, she’ll squat out the kid, and it will be reincarnated into his empty man-flesh that used to be sexy. Brad will be born again! such is the nature of things in nambla.

  24. L~Money

    #86 seriously.. hook us up with the link to the before and afters..

    why you holdin out on us??????

  25. HughJorganthethird

    Look on the bright side. If this kid lives it should jack the Infant Mortality Rate up about 50% in that shithole of a country.

  26. I dunno, I think that’s a pretty cool place to be born! If you’re ridiculously wealthy, of course, and can leave anytime you want…

  27. Libraesque

    Who hit Brad with an ugly stick?

  28. CruisingForCock

    I’m so confused. They keep doing crazy shit. They lie, they cheat, their hair is too dark for their complexion but I still want to seriously shag both of them off the bed or whatever it is they call that thing they sleep on in African huts.

  29. Libraesque

    aaaa hahahahahah #118, while I was reading your post I pictured Gwenyth Paltrow and that dumbass accent of hers reading your post, then I peed my pants

  30. @71

    mamacita what the hell are you, matter of fact why are you wasting your time on superficial and go to one of your america-mexican protest and go fight for your green card. “si”? BTW I’m hiring I need a maid..I’ll pay you $5.00 week, bonus well hung man can marry you for green card.
    must sign 20 yr contract for being my housekeeper,gardener and wiping my ass.

  31. Julie_Smashing_baby

    LoL #9,thats really funny!!!

  32. okiedoke

    I wonder if Brad realizes that with all the leading him around by the nose that Angelina’s doing to him, he is perceived as “Mr. Jolie.”

  33. notdrcox

    Listen up #64, here’s the news flash. Ya see, not everyone lives in ‘SA’ so they might not know that Namibia is next door. I mean re-he-heally, could you tell me where Slovenia is? And newbie, don’t look at a map cos that’s cheating and noone likes a cheat.

    And #116. I’m a Brit. I need to differentiate between College and University cos they don’t mean the same thing here. Stop me if I’m going too fast for ya. And the ‘holiday’ thing? My gosh Susan, I mean, ya think that’s condescending? Methinks u might have a little inferiority complex right there. I’d just hate to make you cry by saying ‘pavement’ or ‘tap’. Surely we all have to speak the same!

  34. HollyJ

    Not sure why all of you are getting so up in arms about this crap and arguing every angle.

    Any moron with an 8th grade education and access to Google can sound like they know everything about Namibia.

    These all-knowing natives could be some a bunch of 12-yr-old red-headed stepchildren sitting at their computer in Opp Alabama for all anyone knows.

    And anyway…no one gives a fuck. This is a superficial website. SUPERFICIAL <–key word

  35. junebug

    3rd world countries are so exotic and beautiful when your at a resort, and not covered in mosquitoes, infected with AIDS, riddled with dysentery starving, living in make shift huts in fear of the next raid.
    These humanitarians are hiding from the press? Wouldn’t you want the press there? and what better way to lure them in then to allow them to take pictures? If it were me I’d pay reporters to fly there and take pictures of my baby as long as they each published a piece on that country with pictures of what these people are going through.
    The life expectancy in Namibia is 44 years old. Can you image what it must be like for a local? You have AIDS, your baby was still born, or has AIDS, you’re sick, and you haven’t eaten in a few days, and here comes some wealthy movie stars from America and they want to have their baby in your country (of which has a high infant mortality rate) so they can hide from the media.

    Yeah …that’s nice.

  36. chubby_cheekums

    Found some Namibian names (at Nande, Ueyulu, Mandume, Ndilokelwa, Kaleinasho, Hanjangha, Shivute, Kalambeehamba, Angaleni, Kotokeni, Gadoes, Axarob,!Khaeb-Khoeb, Hage, Geingob, Kasiku, Sihako, Naihura, Uarotwa, Karundurura, Mbatjiwa, Manga, Kamwi, Sililo, Mutafela, Poniso.

  37. Page

    #64 – Miss Paris, I’m not fond of your name but I can relate. I live in SA, too. Cape Town in fact and I’ve done quite a bit of travelling to Namibia. ‘What I don’t agree with is you’re stupid comment about giving a child an African name. I’m white by the way but happen to think that African names are beautiful. Far better than the millions of Bobby-Ray’s and Mary-Lou’s you get in that hick country America. At least we have some culture.

  38. Living in Africa myself, most of the Africans that I know have either Christian or Muslim names. (rather boring) I think Brad and Angie would be better off giving the kid a cool made up name that the black kids in the states that I grew up with had. Ie. Shaquita, Vanisha, Robita. Basically just put ita or isha on the end and it will give the name an African “buzz”. I’m drawn between changing mine to either Normisha or Normita. But most of the African’s that I know just call me Muzungo.

  39. Chantelle83

    Wow, what the hell?

    All I ever did was try and spread a little information around. Sure I was obnoxious, but who here isn’t?

    Seems to me like all you people who are mad at me are the ones who need to get a sense of humour. I’m still laughing at all your posts to me, why did y’all get offended by what I said? I’m just an anonymous poster like the rest of you bitches.

    That being said, yes I’m black, not American, African, rather, although I have a Finnish passport. I’m gonna let you all go google Finland and try to find something obnoxious to say about Finnish people now. Because obviously google’s the only way people ever find out about things.

    And my name is not Chantelle.

    For the poster complaining about my grammar, I am so sorry, inventor of the English language. I’ll go commit suicide now. I can’t bear to live with my mistake.

    For the guy with agoraphobia.. if I was making fun of you, I would have presented it in a much more straightfoward manner.

    Goddamn, this is not even funny anymore.

  40. joeqpublicus

    First off not knowing Namibia is an African nation is not a sin most people don’t now it exists. What does bother me is most people are going to know the name of this child just because his parents have a hord on for all things Third World. Lets try to at least find something interesting to notice.

  41. gavrilloprincip

    140 – I totally agree about the American names- why would people want to call their children names like ‘randy’ or ‘Billy-Bob?!’ I used to live in East Africa and the children there had nice, old fashioned names, like Grace and Beatrice. Beats ‘Buddy’ from hicksville any day.

  42. mamacita

    @133 ning-ning

    OK, geez, where do I start with you? First of all, your post is almost completely unintelligible, thanks to your lack of punctuation and capital letters. Luckily, I’m a genius, so I figured it out. Secondly, I was never IN Mexico, so I can’t really go back there, now can I? Although, I do hear that Cozumel is nice this time of year. Thirdly, I think we can all agree that English isn’t your first language, you’ve never EVER posted anything funny on here EVER, and let’s face it, you soooooo don’t have a green card yourself, so how would you help ME get one (if I, in fact, needed one). You know who you remind me of? There was always at least one kid in high school that was kind of normal, but was in the remedial classes. He/she was not quite retarded, but was very close to crossing the line between just stupid and brain damaged. For that reason, I felt too bad to make fun of him. Yeah, you remind me of that kid. However, since you called me out and TRIED to be funny and insulting, I don’t feel bad making fun of you. In closing, every single time you post, you pretty much kill anything funny that was happening before you arrived. When I see one of your posts, I’m always amazed at how much you suck. I think to myself “Well, trust ning-ning to fuck things up EVERY TIME”. I bet you get that a lot.

    P.S. “go to one of your america-mexican protest”

    That would be Mexican-American, you halfwit.

  43. jugsgirl

    mmmmmm…….fajitas and ritas would be an excellent idea for lunch. Mamacita are you free?

  44. biatcho

    is anyone else amazed at how many people on here are from Africa or S. Africa?? Who knew they had “compooters” there???

  45. mamacita

    Hee hee jugsgirl. Funny thing, I’m actually going out for Mexican for lunch. So, unfortunately, I already have plans. Maybe tomorrow?

    Let me ask for opinions here. Did anyone see ANYTHING in my post #71 that could be considered even slightly offensive? Not only is ning-ning a dumb ass, but I think he’s a spaz. I’m just trying to figure out what I posted in #71 that could have set him/her off. From his/her reaction, I think we can deduce one of several things. Either ning-ning:

    A) Owns a hatchback
    B) Owns some other type of car that is painted with red and blue primer
    C) Owns a car that is neither a hatchback, nor painted with red and blue primer, but does have spinners
    D) Is an elephant

  46. Dr.Rokter


    Just as a point of clarification. I don’t have agoraphobia. I’m just an alcoholic. Agoraphobics are funny because they’re all pussies who won’t go outside.

  47. Italian Stallion

    #142 I didn’t find anything offensive about your comment, although I did find a few things offensive about mine. That was the point. The super has been pretty fucking lame lately and I guess I just needed something to make my dull life seem better. I hope you didn’t take offense to any of it because, I hope I can speak for everyone when I say this, but we were just joking with you. I would have much rathered you come back at me with something funny, but to each his/her own.

  48. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    149 – Alcoholics are funny because it’s really easy to make them cry. Please don’t say anything mean back, I’m out of tissue.

  49. jugsgirl

    elephants driving primer painted hatchbacks with spinners makes me laugh

  50. nobelium

    i’m acctually supprised at alot of things, as to why the person who posted this doesn’t know where Namibia is, and the increasing racism, and idocy through the posts, usually the comments on the superficial are funny, but frankly i’m disgusted. Angelina and Brad are increasing ly annoying too with their whole ” have a baby on every continent thing” and i can’t see why anyone would not want their child to have an american citizenship, but it’s their life and what they do with it is their buisiness. But the thing that really turned me off was how almost every african styreotype was set on Namibia, people get an education. These comments just became increasingly off topic and rasist, and ultimately stupid, but i hope you see where i’m coming from and dont attack me for telling the truth.

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