Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will have a Namibian baby

April 17th, 2006 // 177 Comments
pitt-jolie-namibia.jpg

The local governor of Namibia claims Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt told him they will have their baby in Namibia and have considered giving it a Namibian name.

I don’t want to sound ignorant, but I have absolutely no idea where Namibia is or what their names are like. In fact, up until three minutes ago when I read the article I didn’t even know that Namibia was a real place. They could’ve called it Narnia and I wouldn’t have known the difference. I’m just hoping Africa lives up to my stereotypes and traditional Namibian names consist of clicks and whistles.

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superficial

  1. Cuore56

    I think she was more fun when she was with Billy Bob.

  2. ellaminnowpea

    I must be a failure…I birthed four kids and never once opted for the comfort of a third world country to do it in…

  3. AprylA

    Uhhh, what is wrong with this woman?

  4. I wonder why they didn’t decide to just give birth in their hometown? What’s wrong with giving birth in the U.S.? I don’t understand what statement they’re trying to make.

  5. I thought they were going to have the baby in France. Because her mother was dieing of cancer?
    What Ever!
    Donna A.

  6. tracyp

    http://www.namibian.com.na/Netstories/Ops5-99/hangula.htm

    Here is a site that has few examples. And I thought Gywneth was going out on a limb with Apple. (Pun intended)

  7. tlcccc123

    I wonder how Brad feels about his girlfriend feeling the need to pretend she’s adopting another child…how normal and well adjusted.

  8. BarbadoSlim

    Ah, good’ol Namibia, land of diamonds and full cavity searches. You haven’t lived ’til you’ve had a dry and deep rectal search.

    good times.

  9. ESQ

    Going to a 3rd world country to have your baby sounds logical to me.

  10. veronica

    LOOK AT WHAT SHE DID TO HIM!!! He actually looks his age now… :’(

    he’s not hot anymore…

  11. PocketRocket

    Is “having a Namibian baby” some sort of code for a baby with skin like tooled leather and lips that resemble the inner tube of a moutain bike?

  12. gardeniagirl

    OOOH! clicks and whistles-that’s the !kung tribe in africa. I think there should also be an upside down exclamation mark at the end, but i surely don’t have that character on my keyboard. That relationship is HURTLING toward self destruct. truly.

  13. gardeniagirl

    is that his natural hair color, or is he using buster brown shoe polish now?

  14. Chantelle83

    Namibia is in Africa, Einsteins. And as for being a third world country, most third world countries make Namibia look like fucking paradise city. Gaining late independence (circa 1990) has its perks, one of them being the rich white people stay for longer with their money. Making it not quite third world.

    Now that I’m done educating you fools…

    People can decide to have their kids anywhere in the freaking universe they want to. Especially when they’re rich. Stop being jealous of people who aren’t shit scared to go outside their own doors.

    As for the name. Poor kid. Those Namibians have some wierd languages. Looking forward to Mlopolo Jolie-Pitt.

  15. gavrilloprincip

    Namibia is a stunning country.. I would rather have a baby there than in the U.S!

  16. gavrilloprincip

    17- for someone supposedly ‘educating’ everyone you have a strange (and mis-spelt) take on African names. Is something weird because it’s different? I should think Namibians think the typical fat ol’ Buddy from Texas to be fairly strange too- eating for the sake of eating? How bizarre!

  17. Italian Stallion

    Coming up next on The Travel Channel, Tribal Life with the live birth of Angelina Jolie. Watch as Brad Pitt search’s for and hunts antelope so they won’t have to name their kid “Starving Marvin” click click…..

  18. Binky

    A common Namibian name is A’rm. And I think that might be a natural.

  19. Convent Girl

    Brad Pitt is as much of a total Jackass as Tom Cruise is, both of them have lost total credibility

  20. DrDanny

    Is Brad Pitt the most pussy-whipped guy on the planet or what? Granted, she’s probably a wild-ass fuck, but he follows her around the globe like a dog on a short leash. How can I get a job like that?

  21. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    When did Brad Pitt start resembling Tommy Lee Jones?
    P.S. Having a Namibian baby is the nice way of saying the baby is going to come out black. It’s a funny trick to play on your husband, just make sure he’s the kind of guy that can take a joke – not the kind of guy that’ll beat you with a chair in the delivery room. Note: this trick does not work if you or your husband are black.

  22. Equalparts

    He dyed his hair brown for that Jesse James movie. That’s an old picture. He is a natural sandy blonde, you can see it growing in in recent pictures. You know–I am a bit K-Fedded up with all y’allz saying how sick and wrong these two are. Brad can be sick and wrong up me one side and down the other. And if he brings his babymomma, she can, too. Fact is, my last booty call leaves a bit to be desired next to these two. To say the least.

  23. Equalparts

    #24, Holy shit, that was funny. My OJ just shot through my nose.

  24. Equalparts

    #24, Holy shit, that was funny. My OJ just shot through my nose.

  25. Chantelle83

    19-

    yeah please don’t patronise someone you know nothing about. My (former) last name is Mjema.. a fairly common bantu name. Not unlike Mlopolo.. which, granted, i’d just made up and never heard of before, but could very well exist in accordance to bantu grammar and spelling.

    It will sound weird because this kid will be a)white b)rich c)American. But since all celebrities name their kids strange names, I guess they’ll fit right in with the Apples and Pilot Inspektors.

    Now shut up. I’m right.

  26. Page

    Oh come on, people. Get an education. Namibia is a beautiful country and has exceptional fascilities in the area where they are at, which is Swakopmund. It’s a gorgeous town and I’d love to have my baby there. It’s called a passport, people, use it.

  27. Rochford

    Wow, since when did Brad Pitt resemble Mark Hamill after his face-shattering car accident circa 1977?

  28. GG1000

    Ooohh more opportunities for them to benefit the needy by having their pictures taken with them. I’d rather see her kissing her brother again; this is just so….tedious.

  29. biatcho

    I’d much rather use my passport to sit my ass on a beach with a cocktail in hand and not have to worry about getting malaria or AIDS.
    Just like I’d rather read really stupid funny comments on the Superficial rather than feel like my 8th grade history teacher is also logged on here to teach us all a thing or two about a thing or two.

  30. TaiTai

    Just you wait — you thought Apple and Moses and Fifi Trixiebelle were strange names.

    I am really pissed that Angelina stole my idea. I was going to go to Namibia to have a baby! Now I am going to have to think of someplace more exotic. I think I will go to Antartica. Yeah! And I will name my kid…Ice Cube. No wait. Vanilla Ice. D’oh. How about Apple Slush?

  31. booface

    Note to self:
    Add #17, #28, #29 to list of people who do not understand that the point of this website is to FUCK AROUND. Nothing on this site is serious. Even NewGuy knows that everything here is fake. Yes, we understand that you are worldly and know a lot about Namibia and other cities in Afghanistan, wherever that it is. I wouldn’t know because I’m scared to leave my basement.

  32. Grphdesi23

    The domestication of Brad and Angelina is a boring study at best.

  33. Kylara

    People seem to be under the impression that Jolie is going to give birth in the wilds of Africa. Under a rock somewhere, perhaps. A rock infested with malaria, AIDS, *and* Tom Cruise.

    Of course she’s going to give birth somewhere hygenic and sterile. She could afford to bring Cedar Sinai to Namibia if she really wanted to, so goodness knows that it’s not going to be difficult for her to give birth safely in a very expensive resort.

  34. Aimtrue

    I guess they a thinking it is just easier to abandon a kid in a third world country- Some Hollywood suck up will be there waiting to adopt-

  35. Vampyreska

    #17– Maybe you can fly over to Namibia, buy a sense of humor, and come back here and use it. You obviously appear to miss the point of this forum. And thanks for the “education”. Maybe you can educate yourself on proper English grammar now.

  36. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Hey Page, not all of us can jump up and buy plane tickets to Namibia whenever we feel like educating ourselves. And I’m sure the ladies room is lovely in Swakapoon, I’ll be sure and use my passport while I’m there.

  37. biatcho

    Note to self: If I start to defend celebrities on the Superficial then they will read the posts & maybe find me & make me their bestest friend. And then we can go to parties, and like, get mani/pedis together. It’s going to be completely mental I must say!

  38. At least the kid’s name won’t be Scout… or Francis Bean… or Kal-el… actually, I don’t know enough about Namibian names to disqualify Kal-el so we’ll leave that one as a “maybe.”

  39. prideofchucky

    I should give Angela a call. I know a very good doctor down there, Doctor Hawkins..

    http://www.y2records.com/img/020103.jpg

  40. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    #8 – You are my new enemy Donna A. Prepare to die.

  41. PapaHotNuts

    This is no big deal. My mom gave birth to me in Tijuana. Not because of her strong ties to the Mexican people, but because she was 13 and a teenage runaway impregnated by our 37 year old Mexican gardener. Jose, I mean Daddy, bought Mom a round trip bus ticket from Louisiana to his trailer in Tijuana, where through the miracle of childbirth, I was born on a tequila and sweat stained mattress into the arms of a frightened teen and an illegal immigrant.

    Love doesn’t recognize borders.

  42. vavavoom

    I think they are both acting like they are in love and having a baby. It’s a big scam to get a free week at a nice African resort.

  43. snark

    Angeline Jolie is getting more and more attractive in every picture I see of her, while Brad Pitt is looking more and more haggard. Same thing happened with Billy Bob…coincidence?

  44. Frivy

    Wait, wait… ok, this article makes it sound like “they” decided this together. Somehow, I don’t see that. It’s more likely that she was like, “Hey Brad, we’re going to do this.” Anyone agree?

  45. gogoboots

    Just shows how much you know, HAHA!!!

  46. Ez-EEEE

    #32
    biatcho, i have a passport, take me to the beach with you and ill give you the AIDS. two birds, one stone, no africans.

  47. Dr.Rokter

    Namibians are notoriusly surly, and chronically late for appointments.

    #17 I’m not “shit scared to go outside my own door”. It’s called agoraphobia, and it’s a serious mental illness. It’s people like you who are always judging me that make it so hard to do simple things like use the subway. Thanks for crippling me.

  48. spatz

    she is sucking the life out of brad pitt. she’ll probably bite off his head and eat his body once their evil spawn is born.

  49. Ez-EEEE

    #47,
    agreed, perhaps all future articles about pitt-jolie, should be entitled “brad pitt is a pussy” or “angelina tugs the leash” or something equally castrating to pitt. its a sad world we live in today, a big lipped vampire has cut the nuts off what used to be my most prime poking material. damn her to hell.

  50. mamacita

    @40

    Oh my sweet heavens. You just made an Ed Grimley reference. I love you. Ez-EEEEEEEEEEEEE, you and me will have to throw down over biatcho. Anyone who remembers Ed Grimley RULES!!!!!!!!!!!

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