Angelina Jolie almost has her new kid


A Vietnamese official says Angelina Jolie is just weeks away from getting her new 3-year-old son. Her application is being processed quickly and should be finished by the end of March at the latest. The director of the orphanage says about the child:

“He is in good health,” Trung said, adding that he gets along with the other children and likes playing soccer. “He is a little bit shy.”

And because Vietnamese law makes it difficult for unmarried couples to adopt, Jolie is applying solo. Like it actually matters for somebody like her. She could have three lesbian wives and a pet alligator and she’d still get this child. She probably thought she was being so crafty too. “I’ll put down that I’m single. They’ll never suspect!” And then she pulls her shirt over her head and pretends she’s a ninja as she runs off into the night.