Angelina Jolie Removed Her Ovaries

Following her decision to remove both of her breasts – And replace them with sweet implants, amirite? BAH-ZINGA! (Kill me. Kill me in my sleep.) – Angelina Jolie has written another New York Times op-ed announcing she’s had both of her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed, only this time she’s not saying women should rush out and get elective surgeries, just that it worked best for her, rich and famous Angelina Jolie, with the best healthcare in the world at her fingertips, so don’t feel obligated to listen to her or anything just because the New York Times did:

I did not do this solely because I carry the BRCA1 gene mutation, and I want other women to hear this. A positive BRCA test does not mean a leap to surgery. I have spoken to many doctors, surgeons and naturopaths. There are other options. Some women take birth control pills or rely on alternative medicines combined with frequent checks. There is more than one way to deal with any health issue. The most important thing is to learn about the options and choose what is right for you personally.
In my case, the Eastern and Western doctors I met agreed that surgery to remove my tubes and ovaries was the best option, because on top of the BRCA gene, three women in my family have died from cancer. My doctors indicated I should have preventive surgery about a decade before the earliest onset of cancer in my female relatives. My mother’s ovarian cancer was diagnosed when she was 49. I’m 39.

From there, Angelina Jolie talks about her transition into menopause and uses words like “laparoscopic bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy” as if she or I even knows what that means. (To paraphrase Rocky Balboa, is it the woman cancer?) The important thing is, you now know how many ovaries Angelina Jolie has and her exact estrogen levels, so if you could please stop invading her privacy by taking pictures of her in public, that’d be great. She’s trying to create an air of mystery here, and your photographs are ruining these beautiful paragraphs she just wrote about her uterine wall. “It’s ham-like portal no longer festooned with life,” I imagine her writing. She’s always had a dignified air about her.

Photos: Getty