OMG! It’s Angelina Jolie Parenting!

June 15th, 2011 // 46 Comments

“Hurry into the van, children, it’s that giant penis again. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?!”

Here’s Angelina Jolie herding her children into an indoor playpark in Malta which I had no idea was even a country, so let’s table that for a second. Anyway, yesterday we learned that Jennifer Aniston has come full circle and became that which she hates, so I can’t imagine Angelina isn’t feeling some sort of smug satisfaction today. I’m not saying she’s feeling chipper enough to child steal again, but I’d probably keep a close eye on my kids if I lived in this “Malta” place. (I’m being messed with, aren’t I? Be honest.)

Photos: Flynet, Splash News

superficial

  1. vandal

    Is it Halloween already? That skeleton outfit is supoib.

  2. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    shavedmaiden
    Commented on this photo:

    Brad Pitt is not looking good at all!

  3. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    alexxx
    Commented on this photo:

    someone desperately needs to eat.
    but the little girls look really adorable.

  4. Get in the minivan, genetic one. You – slanty-eyed one- in the trailer.

  5. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    Poison Ivy League
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugh, her spine and tailbone are trying to escape.

  6. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    Michelle
    Commented on this photo:

    Quick call Sigourney!

  7. That seems less like parenting, more like herding.

  8. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    Durr
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice finger, lazy photographer!

  9. Zzzzzzzzzz

    Borrrring.

  10. AC

    Jaysis. “i’d love to carry you honey, but mommy hasn’t eaten her pea yet today.”

  11. Jimbo

    She is not parenting, she is herding the workers back into the sweat shop to make more cloths for Kathy Lee Gifford

  12. I’d buy her underwear too. Then again, I assume she wears any.

  13. dont get it

    nice of the photog to include his finger in the pic.

  14. Drew

    I can’t imagine these kids get the attention and love that they deserve, and would if their parents weren’t high profile celebrities trying to ease their failing importance.

  15. hambone

    If there is one thing you can say about this woman….she ain’t afraid of making needles an integral part of parenting.

  16. JC

    I’m sure Brand and Angelina have lots of things in common with these kids….like, uh….the nannies and caretakers, and….uh….occasionally the same general physical location.

  17. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    Commented on this photo:

    Stevie Nicks needs to eat a hamburger.

    • oh i know

      she looks more like Mary Kate & Ashley’s mom!! this woman has the worse fashion sense–unless she’s been dressed for an award show she looks like a bag lady, and i DON’T mean Louis Vuitton!! :0

  18. TomFrank

    Malta’s where The Maltese Falcon is from.

    (I can hear it now: “Ohhhhh, so THAT’s what that means…”)

  19. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    CatLynn
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d lay odds she’s pregnant.

    That’ll teach Jennifer.

  20. Ponkur

    You dudes got mad geography skillz.

  21. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    oh i know
    Commented on this photo:

    so she tucks her tail???

  22. XFX

    How do you get to be in your thirties or however old you are without knowing that Malta is a country?

  23. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    Say Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    She makes me want to eat a cheeseburger.

  24. pat

    I believe most anyone who was able to afford to pay nannies and housekeepers would say “Oh, I am so domestic that I won’t allow nannies or housekeepers to babysit for me, or do my laundry, cook my meals, clean the bathrooms, etc….. Uh huh — NOT!!! Not sure why anyone here thinks that other couples/parents in Hollyweird don’t have the same help that money can buy. Or that they wouldn’t take advantage of that if they could. I’m not particularly a fan of Brange one way or the other, but some of the judgments put on them for every move are just ridiculous and laughable. I’ve seen hundreds of mothers with only two kids “herd” them just the way AJ is. Thats what parents do when they have a couple of kids. Get real folks.

  25. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    B
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t the one in the red tutu her son???

  26. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    wjaneala
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is she wearing my snuggie? Bitch!

  27. the captain

    believe it or not: EVEN HER SHIT LIES!!!!!!!

  28. Tinklepants Astronaut

    Wow Brad Pitt has really let himself go.

  29. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    nathalie
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, but it’s a little bit pathetic to show off your ignorance about European countries…

  30. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    jime
    Commented on this photo:

    Shiloh dresses as a boy and Knox as a girl. What’s happening with these kids sexuality?

    • stickfiguresushi

      Not a damn thing is happening to their sexuality. Apparently the Jolie-Pitt family just doesn’t believe in forcing children into gender stereotypes. Kudos to them, letting the kids find themselves rather than being told “this is who you are”.

  31. Rancid

    She should dress all those kids in their respective ethnic costumes and have them sing “It’s a Small World After All” over and over and over again. That would rule.

  32. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    Commented on this photo:

    she just wears sheets now?

  33. John

    Ever heard of the Maltese Falcon SW? Maybe if you spent a little less time concentrating on Justin Bieber and a little more time… well, just doing anything else really…

  34. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    don
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen more waist and ass in a fridge.

  35. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    don
    Commented on this photo:

    leave Quagmire alone!!! giggity giggity

  36. Alison

    Shock shock!! I’m from Malta and I love your site:) But Malta is a country and no one is messing with you, look for a tiny island just under Sicily ….

  37. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    sooo…the boy twin is dressing like a girl, now?

  38. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    No, she just accidently ate an apple

  39. Angelina Jolie Shiloh Knox Vivienne Zahara Pax Maddox
    bob
    Commented on this photo:

    i thought all her kids were black ninjas with mohawks

  40. NightmareCentral

    She has a personality disorder.

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