Angelina Jolie Graced Your Children With Her Presence

First things first, if your child attended last night’s Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards and didn’t come home, we have a lead. Second, if your child watched the awards at home and suddenly started cursing babies to die on their 16th birthday, pretty sure we’re looking at the same culprit. CNN reports:

“When I was little, like Maleficent, I was told that I was different. And I felt out of place — too loud, too full of fire, never good at sitting still, never good at fitting in,” the 39-year-old actor and humanitarian said.
“And, then one day I realized something, something that I hope you all realize: Different is good,” she said, prompting enthusiastic screams from the young crowd.
“And, as your villain, I would also say cause a little troubleit’s good for you.”

Jesus Christ, lady. How about instead of telling 9-and-10-year-olds to a “cause a little trouble,” you just say, “Hey, I had my ovaries taken out? Don’t I still look hot?” because that’s why you’re really there. Or you can tell kids to act like even bigger shitheads. That’s cool. People like that.

Photos: Getty