“Remember the rules: No eye contact. No smiling when together. And only address me as ‘Kerchief Slim, Mississippi frontiersman.’”
Here’s Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp attending the photocall for their new movie Cowboys vs. Homewreckers The Tourist in Madrid today which had to be all kinds of awkward considering it bombed at the box office over the weekend, only to be nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Comedy despite being an action thriller. On top of that, Johnny has already detailed his painstaking effort to never be photographed with Angelina so rumors won’t get started. In fact, if she brushed up against him, he’d probably topple over to reveal he’s been a cardboard cut the entire time, then laugh from a rabbit hole while chewing a carrot. He’s mysterious that way.
Photos: Getty, Splash News
First?
Fuck Yeah!
i just dont think she is that pretty Brad can get an 18 year old!
I agree; in fact I thinks she’s ugly as fuck.
Green Acres is the place to be…
always fuckin’ is the life for me
Angelina give me you back side.
Are they in a contest to see who can look creepier with every passing day? Depp is winning but only because AJ isn’t even human any longer.
I think it is that tense feeling when you want to fuck someone and just can’t morally due to it being either her sister, best friend, whatever. So it’s just easier to hate each other than to go for what they really want to do with one another and that is FUCK the infidelity out of Angelina.
you can say anything you like about Johnny,mean or rude or humilating,but he is still the sexiest man in the world and he can do nothing wrong :) sexy Ryan? Ryan who?! Depp could be my father but I’m still in love with him, we even date but he doesn’t know much about this :)
Ahhhh yes, nothing says hipster cowboy like a fedora and silver finger rings.
It’s a “smoldering” contest.
First one to show any emotion other than cool aloofness loses.
What the fuck does he have on? Do stars really have laundry days? Holy Shit!
I was really hoping that it was a costume that he forgot to take off. It is…isn’t it?!!!
A couple of douches.
When she smiles, she is unequivocably the sexiest woman in show business. And hate on, haters. You loved her before Brad. Now you’re just frontin’!
a.m.e.n. and she doesn’t even need to smile/ sure she’s aging, but a few dying cells can’t f* up good bone structure
Now everyone can see just how much chemistry they don’t have.
I have a feeling Depp is making fun of Jolie, but I can’t really tell.
the “chemistry” they have to show during acting not in promoting of film, what do you want from them, to kiss in front of the cameras? I rather like them just the way you are with no fake smiles or smooching,thank you very much. But Johnny doesn’t look too fond of Angie… oh,well. He’d better be not! :)
It is really strange that they are just standing there… AJ with hands in pockets even. Seems like for the few million they were each paid for their performance in the movie they could feign excitement for the ten minutes it takes to take pictures of them… seriously. They are actors.
BTW: It says test123 where the ads go…
oops, now it looks like POST parameters.
fixed.
Sadly, Depp dressed in ratty denim, put on a vest over the top of it, and then tied rags onto himself with a precision I can only assume he accomplished with some kind of advanced calculus…then looked in the mirror and said “Nobody will call me a douchebag now!”
Angelina however, she just wore the bathroom rug she was lying on when she woke up, applied her trademark “dying in the dessert wrinkled” lipstick, and headed off to the ball like a princess.
My 78-year-old father-in-law wears the same outfit as JD there, only he wears it when he’s in the desert digging up junk. Never realized he’d be red carpet ready out in the Mojave.
Too funny.
Does he ever find anything interesting? Or more precisely, anything more interesting than Angelina’s ‘personality’?
That is too funny! He looks ridiculous. I love the name of your very aptly named lipstick. I always wondered how the hell this ugly bitches lips could be so big but always looked so much in need of serious hydration. I always wondered how much more outrageously enormously freakish they would look if she actually wore some damn chap stick once in a while to keep the damn things supple. This woman is truely a freak of nature and would really be doing me a favor if she just went away already.
LOL, great comment.
Hahaha, that cracked me up.
I wish he’d give me my jeans back though…I hadn’t finished tarring the roof.
Depp dresses like a retarded 4-year-old
I would babysit this retarded 4-year-old for free :)
He can still play in between my legs any time.
Pedophiles?
i wilalso come plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
“Depp dresses like a retarded 4-year-old.” I dare you to think about that statement while looking at the pic above without at least smiling. Thank you for making me laugh out loud. I don’t have anything against the guy, but he’s almost 50, but still dresses like a 25 yo hipster douche. Let it go already… embrace middle age gracefully.
wtf is that woman wearing
could they be anymore blatant that they’re fucking…
^ Bahahaha! Totally, they look like a coupla naughty school kids tryna hide their secrets… at the very least they wanna fuck eachother… so feckin obvious…
Angelina is not aging well.
I’ve been saying the last 5 years this very same thing. That she may be beautiful and exotic looking, those qualities will not age well.
Beautiful she is not. “Exotic” is just a euphomism for ugly. This bitch is exotic not beautiful.
Depp knows his baby momma is watching, and every tabloid on Planet Earth now stands ready to roll out the Depp-Jolie super secret affair headlines.
He won’t touch Jolie during this movie promotion for a millisecond.
I say the same thing. The tense ‘what to fuck each other,” but morally can’t ’cause there’s kids involved.
he wont touch her because he is having sex with her and doesnt want people to know. wev seen it all before with brad…..
Ang Lee called. He said you can stop auditioning for ‘Brokeback Mountain 2: Electric Boogaloo’ now.
HA! look at that outfit, what a fucking joke.
Johnny looks great though!
In these photos it looks like she is DTF him and he ain’t having any of it.
Who is she not DTF?
To quote Amber, from Clueless, he “could be a farmer in those clothes”….
dear superficial writer,
why do you pick on the little bittey things
they’re just standing next to each other!! GEEZZZZ
dumbass.
Shut up, idiot! Where’s your blog that gives thought provoking insight and analysis? If you dont have one you can go lick balls.
I don’t care whether or not they look happy, the photographer probably has a whole bunch of photos taken at the same even where they both look happy….a snapshot is just a second of time and doesn’t tell the whole picture……what bugs me is the fact that she has a white angora sweater with a black outfit, I’ll bet she was covered in fuzz all night…..what was she thinking?
They look glum because the movie is way underperforming at the box office.
Maybe if the producers had shaved up Johnny & made him look a little better instead of a plump bearded schmuck more women would be interested.
You know, every since she married Billy Bob, her hotness has been on a downward slide… I miss the semi-crazy AJ from her “Hackers” days….
My comment didn’t show….. I tell myself it’s because of the foul language ((Even though no one else is censored…)) but I really know it was because the computer rejected my bland, humourless comment…. :(
How can anyone be mad at Angelina? Husbands don’t wander unless they wanna, if she took my man I wouldn’t hate her as much as him. it’d be more like “Dammit! Jolie got another one! We had kids you selfish bitch! JR you bastard you couldn’t just close your eyes for two seconds? Ugh I’m gonna go freeze my uterus now.”
Your first mistake was trying to rationalize female behavior. No wonder your comment disappeared.
hmm…. I think I will chalk it up to internet errors…
Your comment didn’t show because retards are not allowed. Now go beg your married lover to spend some time with you at Christmas. Bwahahahah.
retards are not allowed what? You got through so I’m sure the screening isn’t as maticulous as you implied it to be.
Mr lonely Peanutt I’d further insult you but I don’t find saying something mean to an anonymous person as thrilling as you do. It just makes me feel bad, you are obviously hiding a lot of pain behind that hostility, it’s okay not everyone can be loved but everyone is capable of it.
;)
It’s a prison photo. Johnny is even wearing the stripes.
wow talk about no strings
AJ: I just crop dusted the entire red carpet.
JD: Something smells like rotting orphans.
When did Johnn Depp go from eccentric to homeless? He looks like he’s begging
“Suspect #2, take two steps forward and say ‘How did you like your Mountain Dew?’”
“Confucius say, he who wears all denim, pants when temperature is hot”
Wow I seriously thought that said Mme Toussaud in the background they totally look like wax
This was seriously one of the funniest things you have ever written! BRAVO! Still snickering over “Kerchief Slim”…
Homeless twatwaffle. Poser.
nice canadian tuxedo
Yeah, body language experts would have a field day with these two.
He’s a real artist and she is kind of a fake bitch attention whore so yeah they’re probably not going to get along to well.
He is so…orange.
Johnny Depp’s looked like a cartoon character for a long time, but this is the first I’ve seen of the Yosemite Sam character Since he’s constantly wearing a stupid hat, I’m wondering if he has gone bald on top. That would account for the stringy, unhealthy look of the hair that’s hanging down from underneath it.
Oh yeah! they had sex… the akward non verbal communication doesnt lie
I wonder what Johnny Depp thinks he looks like in his own mind…
He looks like he stole that outfit from a snowman.
Van Gogh and Skeletor.
whaha,this one was fun! :D
I call bullshit — that was obviously taken at the grand opening of Madam Toussad’s new Johnny & Angie exhibit. They’re totally wax.
I was just scrolling through and thought they were wax figures. Wow.
No matter how good Madame Tussaud’s gets, they still look like wax figures.
Remember she acted like that with Brad when they were doing publicity for
Mr. & Mrs. Smith? She probably has already did Depp too!
he didn’t even smell her V*GINA yet!!
these two totally have the ‘doth protest too much’ non-body language body language…. they’re soooooo banging… and I sooooo called it…. ha!
Uhh…I honestly thought this pic was of the new Johnny & Ang statues at Madame Tussauds.
Waxy.