Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp Look Thrilled to Be Together. Just Thrilled.

December 16th, 2010 // 93 Comments

“Remember the rules: No eye contact. No smiling when together. And only address me as ‘Kerchief Slim, Mississippi frontiersman.’”

Here’s Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp attending the photocall for their new movie Cowboys vs. Homewreckers The Tourist in Madrid today which had to be all kinds of awkward considering it bombed at the box office over the weekend, only to be nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Comedy despite being an action thriller. On top of that, Johnny has already detailed his painstaking effort to never be photographed with Angelina so rumors won’t get started. In fact, if she brushed up against him, he’d probably topple over to reveal he’s been a cardboard cut the entire time, then laugh from a rabbit hole while chewing a carrot. He’s mysterious that way.

Photos: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. Kris

    First?

  2. burton

    i just dont think she is that pretty Brad can get an 18 year old!

  3. J.P.

    Green Acres is the place to be…

  4. Richard McBeef

    Are they in a contest to see who can look creepier with every passing day? Depp is winning but only because AJ isn’t even human any longer.

    • Facebook me

      I think it is that tense feeling when you want to fuck someone and just can’t morally due to it being either her sister, best friend, whatever. So it’s just easier to hate each other than to go for what they really want to do with one another and that is FUCK the infidelity out of Angelina.

    • nonminti

      you can say anything you like about Johnny,mean or rude or humilating,but he is still the sexiest man in the world and he can do nothing wrong :) sexy Ryan? Ryan who?! Depp could be my father but I’m still in love with him, we even date but he doesn’t know much about this :)

  5. Ahhhh yes, nothing says hipster cowboy like a fedora and silver finger rings.

  6. Cher X

    It’s a “smoldering” contest.

    First one to show any emotion other than cool aloofness loses.

  7. Mortimer Duke

    What the fuck does he have on? Do stars really have laundry days? Holy Shit!

  8. Hank

    A couple of douches.

  9. Angelina Jolie Johnny Depp Tourist Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    When she smiles, she is unequivocably the sexiest woman in show business. And hate on, haters. You loved her before Brad. Now you’re just frontin’!

    • gigi

      a.m.e.n. and she doesn’t even need to smile/ sure she’s aging, but a few dying cells can’t f* up good bone structure

  10. Elle

    Now everyone can see just how much chemistry they don’t have.
    I have a feeling Depp is making fun of Jolie, but I can’t really tell.

    • nonminti

      the “chemistry” they have to show during acting not in promoting of film, what do you want from them, to kiss in front of the cameras? I rather like them just the way you are with no fake smiles or smooching,thank you very much. But Johnny doesn’t look too fond of Angie… oh,well. He’d better be not! :)

  11. Dan

    It is really strange that they are just standing there… AJ with hands in pockets even. Seems like for the few million they were each paid for their performance in the movie they could feign excitement for the ten minutes it takes to take pictures of them… seriously. They are actors.

    BTW: It says test123 where the ads go…

  12. McFeely Smackup

    Sadly, Depp dressed in ratty denim, put on a vest over the top of it, and then tied rags onto himself with a precision I can only assume he accomplished with some kind of advanced calculus…then looked in the mirror and said “Nobody will call me a douchebag now!”

    Angelina however, she just wore the bathroom rug she was lying on when she woke up, applied her trademark “dying in the dessert wrinkled” lipstick, and headed off to the ball like a princess.

    • Mary Exmass

      My 78-year-old father-in-law wears the same outfit as JD there, only he wears it when he’s in the desert digging up junk. Never realized he’d be red carpet ready out in the Mojave.

    • Paloma

      That is too funny! He looks ridiculous. I love the name of your very aptly named lipstick. I always wondered how the hell this ugly bitches lips could be so big but always looked so much in need of serious hydration. I always wondered how much more outrageously enormously freakish they would look if she actually wore some damn chap stick once in a while to keep the damn things supple. This woman is truely a freak of nature and would really be doing me a favor if she just went away already.

    • F*ck you back dude

      LOL, great comment.

    • cc

      Hahaha, that cracked me up.

      I wish he’d give me my jeans back though…I hadn’t finished tarring the roof.

  13. BlueFalcon

    Depp dresses like a retarded 4-year-old

  14. molly

    wtf is that woman wearing

  15. Angelina Jolie Johnny Depp Tourist Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    could they be anymore blatant that they’re fucking…

    • Kellsmellz

      ^ Bahahaha! Totally, they look like a coupla naughty school kids tryna hide their secrets… at the very least they wanna fuck eachother… so feckin obvious…

  16. zeke

    Angelina is not aging well.

    • Cardinal Fang

      I’ve been saying the last 5 years this very same thing. That she may be beautiful and exotic looking, those qualities will not age well.

  17. Cock Dr

    Depp knows his baby momma is watching, and every tabloid on Planet Earth now stands ready to roll out the Depp-Jolie super secret affair headlines.
    He won’t touch Jolie during this movie promotion for a millisecond.

    • Facebook me

      I say the same thing. The tense ‘what to fuck each other,” but morally can’t ’cause there’s kids involved.

    • rachel

      he wont touch her because he is having sex with her and doesnt want people to know. wev seen it all before with brad…..

  18. Ang Lee called. He said you can stop auditioning for ‘Brokeback Mountain 2: Electric Boogaloo’ now.

  19. right

    In these photos it looks like she is DTF him and he ain’t having any of it.

  20. Rebecca

    To quote Amber, from Clueless, he “could be a farmer in those clothes”….

  21. tally

    dear superficial writer,
    why do you pick on the little bittey things
    they’re just standing next to each other!! GEEZZZZ
    dumbass.

    • Mortimer Duke

      Shut up, idiot! Where’s your blog that gives thought provoking insight and analysis? If you dont have one you can go lick balls.

  22. the only opinion that matters

    I don’t care whether or not they look happy, the photographer probably has a whole bunch of photos taken at the same even where they both look happy….a snapshot is just a second of time and doesn’t tell the whole picture……what bugs me is the fact that she has a white angora sweater with a black outfit, I’ll bet she was covered in fuzz all night…..what was she thinking?

  23. Angelina Jolie Johnny Depp Tourist Premiere
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    They look glum because the movie is way underperforming at the box office.
    Maybe if the producers had shaved up Johnny & made him look a little better instead of a plump bearded schmuck more women would be interested.

  24. GravyLeg

    You know, every since she married Billy Bob, her hotness has been on a downward slide… I miss the semi-crazy AJ from her “Hackers” days….

  25. My comment didn’t show….. I tell myself it’s because of the foul language ((Even though no one else is censored…)) but I really know it was because the computer rejected my bland, humourless comment…. :(

    How can anyone be mad at Angelina? Husbands don’t wander unless they wanna, if she took my man I wouldn’t hate her as much as him. it’d be more like “Dammit! Jolie got another one! We had kids you selfish bitch! JR you bastard you couldn’t just close your eyes for two seconds? Ugh I’m gonna go freeze my uterus now.”

    • Your first mistake was trying to rationalize female behavior. No wonder your comment disappeared.

    • Peanutty

      Your comment didn’t show because retards are not allowed. Now go beg your married lover to spend some time with you at Christmas. Bwahahahah.

      • retards are not allowed what? You got through so I’m sure the screening isn’t as maticulous as you implied it to be.
        Mr lonely Peanutt I’d further insult you but I don’t find saying something mean to an anonymous person as thrilling as you do. It just makes me feel bad, you are obviously hiding a lot of pain behind that hostility, it’s okay not everyone can be loved but everyone is capable of it.
        ;)

  26. Mary Exmass

    It’s a prison photo. Johnny is even wearing the stripes.

  27. wow talk about no strings

  28. mlkbunny

    AJ: I just crop dusted the entire red carpet.

    JD: Something smells like rotting orphans.

  29. Angelina Jolie Johnny Depp Tourist Premiere
    fooey
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Johnn Depp go from eccentric to homeless? He looks like he’s begging

  30. Angelina Jolie Johnny Depp Tourist Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Suspect #2, take two steps forward and say ‘How did you like your Mountain Dew?’”

  31. Angelina Jolie Johnny Depp Tourist Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Confucius say, he who wears all denim, pants when temperature is hot”

  32. AJ

    Wow I seriously thought that said Mme Toussaud in the background they totally look like wax

  33. Tamera

    This was seriously one of the funniest things you have ever written! BRAVO! Still snickering over “Kerchief Slim”…

  34. eric

    Homeless twatwaffle. Poser.

  35. when1800

    nice canadian tuxedo

  36. Cardinal Fang

    Yeah, body language experts would have a field day with these two.

  37. puhleez

    He’s a real artist and she is kind of a fake bitch attention whore so yeah they’re probably not going to get along to well.

  38. Angelina Jolie Johnny Depp Tourist Premiere
    mimi
    Commented on this photo:

    He is so…orange.

  39. lori

    Johnny Depp’s looked like a cartoon character for a long time, but this is the first I’ve seen of the Yosemite Sam character Since he’s constantly wearing a stupid hat, I’m wondering if he has gone bald on top. That would account for the stringy, unhealthy look of the hair that’s hanging down from underneath it.

  40. KKAIT

    Oh yeah! they had sex… the akward non verbal communication doesnt lie

  41. First

    I wonder what Johnny Depp thinks he looks like in his own mind…

  42. Eric

    He looks like he stole that outfit from a snowman.

  43. Van Gogh and Skeletor.

  44. freaky

    I call bullshit — that was obviously taken at the grand opening of Madam Toussad’s new Johnny & Angie exhibit. They’re totally wax.

  45. Mia

    I was just scrolling through and thought they were wax figures. Wow.

  46. Angelina Jolie Johnny Depp Tourist Premiere
    Derek
    Commented on this photo:

    No matter how good Madame Tussaud’s gets, they still look like wax figures.

  47. pookiewookie

    Remember she acted like that with Brad when they were doing publicity for
    Mr. & Mrs. Smith? She probably has already did Depp too!

  48. wim

    he didn’t even smell her V*GINA yet!!

  49. gigi

    these two totally have the ‘doth protest too much’ non-body language body language…. they’re soooooo banging… and I sooooo called it…. ha!

  50. guest1

    Uhh…I honestly thought this pic was of the new Johnny & Ang statues at Madame Tussauds.

Leave A Comment