Angelina Jolie Shows Off Engagement Ring, Is Dying

April 17th, 2012 // 53 Comments
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Here’s Angelina Jolie in Hollywood yesterday flashing the now-world-famous Fuck You Jennifer Aniston Diamond, handcrafted by her majesty’s must-trusted jeweler Robocop. Although, in her defense, it’s kind of hard not to flaunt something that’s goddamn thicker than you are. So, seriously, Angie, we all know why you gathered up those kids, so you might as well suck the lifeforce out of them and get back to looking as hot as you did in Mr. & Mrs. Smith or even better, that one movie where your topless tits hacked computers with a bunch of hackers. You know which one I’m talking about. Titters, that’s it.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    Peter Gaybreal
    Commented on this photo:

    Nightmare from hell! Dear God it’s coming to get me! Can’t sleep! Can’t sleep!

  2. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    Dali
    Commented on this photo:

    She is not too skinny. she looks great.

  3. Bonky

    Nothing worse than getting a hand job from a hot chick with ugly old womans hands. You look at her face and you think this is fucking fantastic and then you look down at your schlong and it looks like the crypt keeper is giving you a tug job.

  4. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    Chinny
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says “lock that bitch down” like authentic Crypt-Keeper hand jobs.

  5. Frank Burns

    Maybe she’s hoping to absorb some nutrients and minerals from the ring?

  6. Just Say'n

    You know stories like this just further inflame JLH.

  7. Deacon Jones

    I dont know how you can sleep with that thing, especially if you have your pick of any one of them.

  8. Blubbo The Clown

    For fuck’s sakes, she was NEVER hot. Sure she had big jugs but the rest of her body was awful. Skinny, no ass, no curves whatsoever. And to top it off, she’s covered in more graffiti than a shitter stall at a truck stop (and is just as classy). The ONLY reason she had an acting career is she got cast in the same fucking role over and over…her phoney baloney “edgy grrrl” crap.

  9. YoMamma

    Am I the only one who thinks that ring is fug? I hate baggettes…

    Yes, it’s huge, but that’s the only thing going for it (too easy!).

  10. Dude of Dude

    Everyone knows the engagement ring is the portal to the Land of Sex When She Wants It Which Is Never.

  11. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    Fixed.
    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/17/HiFive-340_453.jpg[/img]

  12. EricLr

    Fish, why must you tease us with false hope of her imminent death? It’s like being told Santa is bringing you a new bike only to run down on Christmas morning and find nothing under the tree.

  13. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    JANE
    Commented on this photo:

    I personally think it’s really ugly, and doesn’t even look like an engagement ring

    • God is Black

      Your spot on! Fugly…..I bet it glows red or wtf when Brad is like > 10 feet away trying to escape the Witch. Poor Guy!

    • mrsmass

      what’s an engagement ring suppose to look like? it’s a fucking huge diamond with a shit load of other diamonds. seems like an engagement ring to me.

    • rob

      A masculine ring for a manly lady. Jebus, she is aging badly. I can hardly believe she’s only 36. She looks more like 50.

  14. Wow. My Robocop joke from last week actually worked its way into a Fish post. This just may be the high point of my life.

    It is the high point. Who am I kidding?

  15. Cock Dr

    Brad is hoping that when they marry she’ll immediately put on 20 pounds.
    Good luck with that.

  16. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    Margareta Ericksson
    Commented on this photo:

    She is anorectic. escially the hands has grow way to much older then Jolies biological age, the elderly hands are a strong indicator that a person suffers from anorexia, mentruation is inhibitated and the rest of the human hormoned are out of balance. So. like Jolie has stated no nore children – ye sof course that is impossible as anorectic

  17. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a camel toe? If so, count me sick.

  18. ed

    That explains the engagement…hunger strike.

  19. Kirk Diggler

    Someone needs to make the bitch eat a sammich or two!

  20. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    name
    Commented on this photo:

    CORPSE BRIDE

  21. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    Michele
    Commented on this photo:

    So why is the ring ” F-You Jennifer Ring”??? If I remember correctly Angelina was the home wrecker here……..making a movie with Jennifer’s Hubby…..Angelina looks like hell, Jennifer looks great and looks pretty happy to me… she has for years Congratulations to Brad and wifey to be, but I don’t get why you’d name your wedding band that way if there isn’t some animosity there…what a way to start your marriage on a positive foot, lol

  22. meh

    It gives her SKELATOR POWER!!! Dun dun dun daaaaaaa!!! When she aims it at food it DISAPPEARS! When she aims it at children it makes them HERS! When she aims it married men they leave their WIVES!! And in the dark of night when she point it at the moon, with her leg thrust to the side it gives her ULTIMATE POWER!!!!

  23. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    baloo
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s got her left hand up and showing off the ring in every picture. i say she’s showing off. what a piece.

  24. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    carol rules
    Commented on this photo:

    michael jackson hands.

  25. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    carol rules
    Commented on this photo:

    wow, she looks really bad here. so frail, bony and pale. I don’t understand.

  26. She resembles her career…

  27. lawn

    That ring just dangles there. She could get it sized, but I doubt it would go over her knuckle then.

  28. judging you

    I’m convinced she’s using that ugly ring to hide drugs. FFS her body was never good, stop trying to pretend it was.

    • laurielou2

      Yeah, um, did you see Tomb Raider 2? If not, please do and come back and chat. The jet ski scene alone should change your mind.

  29. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    Womb Raider
    Commented on this photo:

    I sure hope that’s not a blood diamond.

  30. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    Suck_it!
    Commented on this photo:

    SKELETON

  31. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    Princess Consuela Banana Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s the Gandhi of single women with children. “I will starve myself until I get engaged… Well, married actually.”

  32. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    Carly
    Commented on this photo:

    Waaayyyy toooo thin :(

  33. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    eli
    Commented on this photo:

    Step back! Her jaw is unhinging!

  34. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny, I just checked out her IMDb and it doesn’t say anything about her co-starring in the live action Coraline remake.

  35. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice knuckles, Keith.

  36. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    oifoivoia
    Commented on this photo:

    get a sandwich, or a baby or whatever ! you don t look très jolie, jolie, you look like a skeleton

  37. I just can’t wait ’til this two are married – mostly so that we can finally call her the Corpse Bride.
    Corpse Husbandstealerandkidscollector was just a little too long..

  38. Techman

    I watched Gia last night and Angie looks worse now that in the scenes in that movie where she was dying of AIDS. Shame.

  39. Angelina Jolie Engagement Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like death warmed over here. How sad that she feels like she has to get rid of every single ounce of fat on her body. :( She is/was just so amazingly gorgeous.

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