Andy Dick tries to molest Ivanka Trump

February 5th, 2007 // 54 Comments

Andy Dick was dragged off Jimmy Kimmel Live last week after he kept touching Ivanka Trump. It’s especially pathetic because you know this is him trying to prove he’s straight. Only he has no idea how to be straight, so this is what he learned from a book. Probably the same one Tom Cruise read.


  1. -Stormy.

    Andy is a walking piece of excrement that thinks he’s funny. Trouble is, he’s the only one that thinks he’s funny.

  2. He’s not trying to be straight. He’s drunk off his ass – therefore trying to tell her something. Probably about being gay.

  3. lohanhasthebestcokeinCA

    that was kind of weird to watch, you know after they dragged him off they threw his ass to the curb and made some sort of “now you can go blow coke with all the other hollywood losers” quip. its coke, it has to be coke. blondes get that shimmery aura when youre high off blow, of course you wanted to touch her. still sad to watch, you are on television dude. shit

  4. Mugato

    There isn’t a human on the planet who thinks Andy Dick is funny. Who did he blow that he still has a career?

    Oh, everyone? Well that might work.

  5. woodhorse

    Andy Dick hasn’t been funny since they took his personality away by canceling that Brooke Shields show – and he was only funny then because he was standing next to someone who was funny. Didn’t some cast member commit suicide rather than spend another day working around him?? The only thing I can say in his favor is that he is funnier than Carrottop. Carrottop is more gay though.

  6. steamship

    i dont know who andy dick is

  7. Joshingya31

    If im gonna get dragged off of Jimmy Kimmel Live its gonna be for motorboating those lopsided flapjacks, not for touching her arm and leg.

  8. BlueAthena

    Ehh, I’m pretty dissapointed. When I first heard about this, I was hoping that Dick was dragged off kicking and screaming, not playfully. Damn.

  9. Dick Molests Trump

    Why does that amuse me so much?


    He’s just a huge turd.

  11. White-Candy

    i personally think Andy is somewhat funny.well, he is at least better than that kramer dude.
    i don’t know what all the hub-bub is about Ivanka. her face looks all flat like a pug dog.
    And c’mon we all like our Dad, (or not), but she seems to IDOLIZE the “Don”.Weird

  12. EvilPotato

    I wish guys like Kimmel’s security guards could stand around on street corners, so that when guys like Andy Dick are within ten feet of any woman, anywhere, they can be forcibly carried away from her — and just like that, feet first. Preferably, they would be anally raped afterwards. I fucking hate guys like that, even if it was a skit, which it could’ve been.

  13. Watch his latest interview on Howard Stern and you will understand how bad of a wreck he is.

  14. Kimmel needs to bring back Neil Hamburger.

  15. Lizzle

    Andy Dick = Kathy Griffin.

    Both have the same “Look at me, I need constant attention” issue going on. Seriously, were they left in their cribs for days at at time as babies? What drives their desire to have people staring at them, regardless as to whether those people think they’re retarded or not?

    Would either or both of them to get hit by a bus, I might inwardly celebrate. But not too much, I wouldn’t want to give them the satisfaction.

  16. DancingQueen

    If the name fits…

  17. HisAngel0714

    I used to think Andy Dick was funny! Although he is pretty perverted and it confuses me. I thought he was gay.

  18. mrlithium

    16 is right on

  19. diamondprynzez

    Oh please, he was probably hoping that Ivanka had a penis.

  20. I’d eat Ivanka like Rosie O’Donnell eats a cream pie.

  21. magickal

    I don’t like him at all. I cna’t wait until someone inevitably slaps his ass with a restraining order. I’m surprised Kiefer Sutherland hasn’t done that yet. Ivanka Trump is a douche though, hate her too.

  22. magickal

    *can’t, duuuuhhhhhhhhh

  23. whackjob

    fuck dick. I respect Kimmel for stepping up, though you gotta think he knew Dick was trashed before he came on, hence the “you promised you’d behave” remark. Except that Dick is always a dick.

  24. NicotineEyePatch

    I just don’t understand why he keeps getting invitations to anything. All he’s ever promoting is own his fucking idiocy.
    #16, well said. Separated at birth maybe, with each one trying harder to be assassinated by a ‘deranged fan’ than the other. Let’s hope they both win.

  25. NicotineEyePatch

    *his own, he’ll never own his idiocy :P

  26. dancehallcrasher75

    I’m sure he is still locked in the green room, licking the doorknob and kissing the light switch.

  27. Angry Ferret Jones

    He didn’t taste gay.

  28. JuniorLeaguer

    THOSE were security guards? Holy shit….gramps I found you a job!

  29. HollyJ

    He isn’t properly socialized. He never learned that constantly feeling up strange women isn’t appropriate. The problem is that all the whores in Hollywood giggle and act embarrassed rather than punching the fuck out of him (as I would). He needs a good ass-whipping by a big Rosie type.

  30. cabu

    It was supposed to be funny, it was part of the show, he wasn’t really in trouble. So, it’s not funny.

  31. Niecy

    I agree with #16.
    Neither of them are funny. They both think making fools of themselves will get them attention.

  32. whitegold

    I actually caught a bit of this on tv, and more than noticing Andy Dick being a fool, I actually found myself kind of impressed with Ivanka. I’ve never really thought she wss attractive at all (I couldn’t figure out how she was supposedly a “model”), but she actually looked pretty hot. She spoke well also! Compared to the other spoiled celebrity losers, she was rather refreshing.

  33. RichPort

    #5 – Yea, and you’re not funnier than either one of them. What’s your fucking point?

  34. fame is funny

    I think he’s funny fairly often, just in a general sense. He’s much funnier than kathy griffin. I have a very disturbed sense of humor though. He’s bisexual so this clip makes sense, but it’s obviously a setup here. I’d love to hang out with him, I’m sure he is funny as shit in person, and would be a riot to party with…I just wouldn’t want to be alone with him at his house or anything.

  35. crazyotto

    Ivanka will you marry me?

  36. didey23

    I almost feel sorry for him. I definitly feel sorry for Ivanka having to put up with him touching her… god only knows where those hands have been.

  37. Sheva

    All I can say is I vanna bedder deel.
    Cuz Ivanka was hot.
    Maybe even those breasts are fixed up.

    She’s a sharp, smart girl. She doesn’t need implants.

  38. woodhorse

    #34 and it’s not what you do for a living either, what’s your point? I don’t need your permision for an opinion (where’s that man with the fiddle playing the sad song?). You must live in a cave (with internet access) not to have noticed how many people abhor Andy Dick. I don’t think he’s gay. He doesn’t have enough personality to be gay. If he says he’s gay, it’s just his reason why he never has a female hanging on his arm. If he ever offends my gay friends, I’m going to hit him in the pussy!!!

  39. Sweet Amber

    he’s so sad and not funny. o.o

  40. Cardinal Ximenez

    Listening to Stern this morning, he made it sound like a serious event. Watching the clip, its obvious that it was a staged event. Right up there with Pauly Shore getting punched on stage. Lame.

  41. woodhorse

    #41 Amen to lame.

  42. happy_bunny


  43. happy_bunny

    Ivanka’s way cooler and prettier than Paris Hilton, btw. I know that’s not saying much, but it’s saying something.

  44. stoplookingatme

    I agree with #43 – staged. If it was real, Andy would have been turning red and spitting, not laughing.

    Nice comparison to Tom Cruise, ‘Fish. The only thing I would add is that, although TCLTC, he never tried to make out with my friend (who is a dude) at a party in New York nine years ago like Andy did.

  45. Lowlands

    Anybody knows if Andy Dick is really gay?I’m wondering because i think his behaviour is a kind of latent heterosexual.Nice chinese “doll”-like dress what Ivanka Trump is wearing.Besides being Trump’s daughter is she doing something in fashion as well?

  46. Andy Dick is most definitely bi (read Neil Strauss’ “The Game.”)
    Ivanka’s beautiful.

  47. meee

    wow thats embarrassing. even for andy dick.

  48. RichPort

    34. HAAAAAHAAAHAAAAAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAA ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, …

    Classic example of my supreme douchiness. Note the condescending, yet mock authoritative tone, and how I can be at once critical of others, while pretending to be relevant myself. It sucks being me.

    RPLTC, con mucho entusiasmo!

  49. woodhorse

    MY LIEGE !! I am yours to command.

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